Just an anthropological thought: Posts about encroaching on others’ space (airplane seating and now this), do seem to get a lot of responses.
That’s it. I’ve already gone way beyond what I allow myself to do and say in this section of the Dope, so I will leave y’all to to it with the hopes all will end well.
Q
Shayna, are you poor? You seem to have that chip on the shoulder that you see poor people have on the internet and in real life. You do know that we have a choice not to move, Shayna? That doesn’t mean that you are childish, or a fucking dickhead asshole, if you decide to stay. Assigning random swear words that you have just learnt last week to people who choose to decline a request shows to me that you have a maturity problem, Shayna.
To paraphrase Nzinga, in the best line I’ve read all year:
This thread is still delivering like Dominos! 
That was pretty funny. 
JohnT, I know. I know. They made me feel ashamed of laughing, though, so I’m trying to be all mature and wise and shit now. I feel like Bart Simpson when he has to get dressed up for church with his hair all combed and his good clothes on.
This is what happens when assholes collide.
Did you come up with that all on your own? 
I appreciate the effort, Nzinga, Seated.
(crickets)
Fenris, after the show had started?
Nzinga, you clean up nice! But I see the firecrackers in your backpocket …
Shayna, just to make sure you understand. She did not open a Pit thread; her IMHO thread was dragged into the Pit after people were acting like it was the Pit in IMHO and once within The Pit she was called a cunt and a liar. For having the opinion that she does not need to move, especially after a movie already started, and that while she had a reason she does not need one. She said no, she is entitled to say no, and they then should leave her alone.
True her op read a bit more like a weak Pitting. And phrasing it in who was right/wrong invited people to tell her she was wrong, wrong, wrong. But its vitriol level grew rapidly to the level you’ve entered at pretty damn fast.
I can understand that many/most of us would have just scooted over. I can also understand that many of us find people coming in after the movie has started and asking other people to move around to be rude. I can understand that some have reasons for not wanting to move and that they have no obligation to share those reasons: you ask for a favor, someone says “no”, say “oh, well thank you anyway then” and move on. Even if the favor was small.
MHO is that asking people to move once a movie has started is rude. MHO is that moving anyway is usually not a big deal but if someone does not want to they don’t want to and they owe neither the moving or an explanation to anyone. It is not a mortal sin. Demanding that the person move however is extremely rude, IMHO. Causing a scene because someone refused to do you a small favor is disturbed. Getting upset that people yelled at you because you did not want to do a favor for them is understandable.
You have different HOs. Also fine. You don’t get upset at people getting up in front of you while a movie is in progress. Fine, I do, but fine.
What has been odd is how Pittish and trollish the “You are an asshole for not moving!” position posts had been in the IMHO stage and how they progressed to “Cunt” level in The Pit. Over not moving over a seat because she was scared of germs and annoyed with late people acting like she had no choice but to make room for them, like it was not a favor but an obligation.
Again, just moving would have been a nice thing to do. And some here may believe that we are obligated to be nice to everyone at all times (except apparently others here) and that not being nice equals being rude. We can disagree about that. But what about this apparently minor area of disagreement evokes such levels of hostility?
Exactly. The question about why this issue raised so much ire with those who disagreed with the OP is a mystery to me, too, and I would love to see someone address it.
Exactly what I was wondering…
By the reactions in this thread, you would think I was shoving old ladies down stairs.
Reading DSeid’s latest post, I think our positions aren’t so very different after all.
Can we all agree on this, but with slightly different values of “X on a rudeness scale of 1 to 10.” ?
I’d have walked my date to the first empty seat , and after she was seated I’d walk past the OP and her SO and plop myself down and then pass a big bucket of popcorn back and forth with my date.
Oh I wish I was there.
Very mature and level headed. And you would consider yourself the one with better social graces, no doubt.
And despite what you say here, we know you would not have done that IRL. Big and bad on the Internet.
This thread makes me think of my brother. He is 6’7", broad shouldered, and in great shape. He has a deep, powerful voice.
Would you have tried your passing back and forth popcorn bullshit on him? Or would you have done it to me, because you perceive my 5’8" female self as weaker?
Let me guess, you would not have even asked him. And you sure as fuck wouldn’t have played revenge games with him.
And before I get accused again of being a crazed feminist- I would have reacted as I did in the OP if I were male or female. My chromosomes had nothing to do with it.
And before I
Heeeeeeeeee!!! She went and got her brother on you, FD!!! I can’t!
I do mean if he was sitting there, instead of me. I am off saving orphans from burning buses.
I’ve also worked in a theater, as an usher and in other positions, including assistant manager. IF the theater was completely full with a few buffer seats in each row, then yes, we sometimes asked people to move. If there are actually rows of empty seats, even if they are at the very front or back of the theater, then we’d direct the latecomers to the empty seats. If they weren’t happy with the undesirable seats, we’d offer a free pass for each ticket, or suggest a less crowded theater. We wouldn’t make people move if they were already seated and the movie had started, and we didn’t give refunds.
In any job that requires working with the general public, you will encounter people who are able to complete the transaction with a minimum of drama. Then you will have other customers who think that their wants override other customers’ desires. The person who pushes his/her way to the front of the line, because s/he’s in a hurry. The person who decides to have a nice gossip session in the changing room with her BFF, even though there are other people wanting to use the changing room to try on clothes. The person who wants other people to move so that s/he can have a desired seat. Generally, if a customer wants another customer to change his/her behavior and won’t take a polite no for an answer, that first customer is what we call a pain in the ass, and that first customer is generally an unprofitable customer, who will take up a lot of time and resources. It’s one thing to request a fellow movie goer to refrain from talking. It’s another thing to ask someone to move after the movie’s started.
For the record, I used to be TERRIBLE about being late to the movies. I never asked anyone to move so that I could sit where I wanted to. I figured that it was my own fault for being late. I have asked tall people to not sit down in front of me, but that is as they are choosing a seat, and only if they have a choice of seats. If it’s clear that there’s not another empty seat, I don’t ask them to try to shuffle seats with a shorter person.
Yes. Different values. Which we can recognize that we disagree about without believing the other deserves scorn or is an asshole or an idiot. (Okay, it’s The Pit. We are all assholes and idiots. Just not cunts.)
As is obvious I’d place refusing to move as minor rude. It is a requested favor, not an obligation. You are allowed to not do a favor even though it is generally a good idea to be nice when you can. Even to rude people.
Coming late and assuming that others must move around to make space for you and your date in the best seats while the movie is in progress – a major league ruder.
And throwing a fit over the refusal of the request – the popcorn bit if actually done – any response other than at worst a hurt or shocked look and a mumbled “Well thank you anyway then.” is much worse. Kick them out of the theater.
Texting during the movie – on par with the fit. Out!
YMMV.
Disagree with 2 and 3. Fumbling and more fumbling is not the refusee’s fault. throwing profanity is obviously reactionary. Things are really different in America.