I'm not going to college, deal with it!

The BBQ Pit
1

Today I went back to my old high school (I just graduated in June) to visit one of my old teachers. I was reminded of the major reason I hated that place last year. She was very happy to see me, asked how I was, all that, and was happy about my job. I’m doing a little sports writing for a small local paper.

The other teachers. OOOOOHHHH!!!:mad: :mad: :mad:

I would have liked a “Hi, how’ve you been?” or something like that. But the FIRST thing out of their mouths:

“So, where are you going to college?”
“Oh, you’re not??? WHY NOT!?!?!?!”
“Well, when are you going to go!?!?!”
“You know, the longer you stay out, the harder it’ll be to go back!”

PISS OFF!!! :mad:

I tried to kindly explain to them why I’m not going right now, other than the fact that college costs buttloads of money that I don’t have. (And spare me the comments about all the ways to get money for college, please. Trust me, I’ve already heard them ALL. 150 TIMES.) :rolleyes:

The reason: I have no idea what I really want to do! Maybe I do want to be a journalist, but I don’t know. That’s why I’m doing a little now to see if I really want to stick with it. But that wasn’t good enough for them, they want me to go to college NOW!

One of my old teachers actually said, “Well, you’re supposed to know what you want to do” and I replied, “Well, I don’t.”

Maybe some people graduate from high school knowing exactly what they want to do with their lives. Good for them, congratulations and good luck. BUT I DON’T!!! Sorry if I wasn’t born with a roadmap of where my life is going. I have to try some different roads and make my own map!

So I guess what I’m trying to say is:

Why, for once in my life, can’t anyone but my parents be supportive of my choices??? I’m not going to let them change my mind by telling me what I should do. But it would be nice to hear a little support once in a while, or at least to not have them shoot down what few little dreams I have. I mean, Geez. :smack:

2

I fully support everything you have done, are currently doing, or will do. Keep up the good work.

3

I support your decision, and I know plenty of people who have made wonderful lives for themselves without college.

However, if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, college is probably the best option for you. Almost everybody switches majors at some point precisely because they get exposed to something that piques their interest. They make you take general education classes precisely so that you discover new fields of interest- hopefully finding one you’d like to do for a while. College is full of new people, new ideas and there is oppertunity literally everywhere you look. I can think of no other place where the resources for things like going abroad, or getting an interesting job, or doing unusual volenteer work are just waiting for you. Figureing out what you want to do with your life in college is a million trillion times easier than trying to figure it out on your own while you are trying to do things like pay rent.

The people that I know that have done well for themselves without college are generally the ones that knew exactly what they wanted to do. They knew the life that they wanted and they knew they were going to be happy in that life. More power to them, but i don’t think you are one of these people.

Plus, if you really are that poor, they pay you to go. If you’ve heard this 150 times, why do you refuse to believe it? I’m getting four years of time that I don’t have to work (unless I find particularly interesting work to do- like when I worked as a carpenter at a theater for a while), where I am constantly preseted with chances to do interesting wonderful things, and where I get access to all kinds of facilities and equiptment that I’d never be able to use on my own. It’s like some kind of summer camp for adults, but with more sex.

Anyway, these people are just looking out for you. As you get older, the number of different paths you can take through life get smaller. You loose flexibility. College keeps some of those paths open. Doing it now, while you are still relatively free of things like debt and children and sick parents and responsibility in general is really a good idea. Making your own road through life is all well and good, but if you insist on making it go right to the same cliff that killed half your village, thats called being hard-headed, not independent.

4

“Making your own road through life is all well and good, but if you insist on making it go right to the same cliff that killed half your village, thats called being hard-headed, not independent.”

That’s the thing, even sven. Everyone in my village follows the beaten path, college etc., and falls off the cliff anyway. And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna hate my life cause of what others told me to do. If I’m gonna hate my life, I want it to be because of decisions I made on my own terms. I may decide to go to college in two months, or I may never go. But whatever I decide, and whenever I decide it, it is going to be because it is what I want to do and because I feel it is right for me. Not because it’s what society says I should do after high school.

5

I fully support your right to do what you feel is right for you, even if that includes hating your life. I do not support society’s right to tell you what to do.

6

This is what buddies are for. Buddies say “I love you” by giving unconditional support. Teachers are not your buddies. I mean, these are people who went to school specifically looking for a job where they can help guide youngsters. It’s what they do. They may not be doing it in the most effective way–I get the impression you are touchy, and they would probably be doing a better job if they were guiding you more subtlely–but no matter what, they would be trying to offer guidence. That’s how teachers say “I love you.”

Now then, in you specific case, what you can probably do to help avoid some of this is by making sure you emphasize what you are doing when they want to focus on what you are NOT doing. Use phrases like “I am keeping really busy” or “I love my job, I’m learning . . .” And don’t be upset that people don’t understand you right off the bat–you are taking an unususal path, and part of the cost of doing that is that you have to sell the idea to people if you want them to approve of it. For example, I moved recently, and in our new apartment I made the “living room” the office, and put the couch and TV in the 2nd bedroom. Whenever I tell people this, they wrinkle their noses and say “weird”. Then I do my little song and dance about how this works better with mine nad my husband’s lifedtyles, and then most people say “Hmmm, I see. Cool.” They aren’t “suporting my choice” without any evidence, but I can win them over.

Your teachers are going to assume that your reasons for not going to college are ill-thought out: that you are scared, or too intimidated by the paperwork (happens to an amazing # of bright kids) or lazy. If that isn’t true–and I am assuming it’s not–then it is up to you to explain your better reasons to your teachers, and not expect them to get it without explanation.

7

[Off Topic]
Oh, Manda JO, you’re the best! I did the same thing with my last apartments! The very last one I lived in had all of our computer stuff in the living room so that when you walk in the door, you’re presented with what looks like a computer lab. It was wonderful!

[On Topic]
As usual, ijustdontcare, listen to Manda JO. She always knows what she’s talking about. If you just don’t want to go to college, when people make the remarks those teachers do, just smile politely and say, “You’ve given me something to think about. Thank you.” They only mean well, after all.

8

I did what was expected of me and went right from high school to college. I didn’t belong there. I hated it. I dropped out after a year, but some years later when I read over my journal, I saw how unhappy I was in October of my freshman year.

When I quit, I joined the Navy and got some technical training and work experience. I finally did go back to college and got my engineering degree - the second time, I was ready.

Live your own life. Take some chances. Make some mistakes. There will always be colleges. When and if you decide to go, you’ll be ready for it. In the meantime, don’t feel you have to justify your choices. As long as you’re not expecting someone else to support you, do what you want! I think it’s great!

9

I support Manda JO’s right to always give the best advice.

10

Hey, I’m 34 and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. And I even went to college.

I am, however, returning to college, because I believe it is the best way for me to figure out what I want to do.

YMMV.

Good luck.

Esprix

11

From personal experience, I delayed a few months going to college, and then took years off before finishing degrees.

A disadvantage is: I could have been much, much cleverer about organizing my time. It’s a little sad, really. The problem was mine, not the college’s.

An advantage is: Being even a couple years older gives you a big advantage over other students. It enables you to see the meaning in things others are missing. After all, those are experienced adults teaching the classes. They’ve seen things 18 year-olds haven’t. Dealt with problems 18 year-olds haven’t had to live through and cope with.

It isn’t hard to go back. In fact, it’s dead easy. No problem there. Just walk in a door. Whenever you like.

12

I dropped out of school about 2 years ago to pursue my other interests. I’m most-likely going back in January.

The disadvantages include:
-I will always, always be behind everyone my age on the “career track”. I’ll be 24 or 25 before I even finish school.

-I’ll be that creepy older guy in my classes

-It’s going to be a lot more work to shift back into that “school” mindset

-I have a lot more bills and such to worry about this time around.

Advantages

-I have real-world experience and a little bit of maturity, if I do say so myself

-I actually know I need to go this time

-I’ve managed to get a place of my own, so I won’t have the problems I had before.

-I can buy beer. Legally.

-My life is in a little better order this time around

And I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I’m a Gemini, too, so I get bored easily. Gah!

13

I have no career motivation whatsoever. I have realwork experience-I’ve been a manager in various food service jobs for 3 years now. I’ve finally decided I want to do something different. My mom has been pressuring me to go to colege since my junior year. I’ve decided to go back to community college, and now I have absolutely no idea what I want to do. If anyone has a dream job for me, please, do share

14

Yeah. I didn’t know what I wanted to do either and I HAD TO declare a major my freshman year. Result…my first year of college accomplished pretty much NOTHING. That is a lot of money for just sitting taking classes that don’t mean anything. You made a good choice.

15

Well my local public school makes a deal out of how many of their students go on to college so I wouldn’t be surprised to hear your school has a similar bias.(Of course they never print anything about how Johnny didn’t belong in college and dropped out, just he went to good ole’ whatsamatta U) Anyway if you’re seriously not ready for college don’t bother just yet. It’ll just be a waste of your time and will probably wear you down for nothing. And seriously harder to go back? I mean your body may fail too soon but the mind certainly endures.

16

ijustdontcare trust me there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to do in college. As you have explained.

I think you know exactly what you want to do which is trying out journalisum to see if thats the boat you wanna take.

And as far as, “the longer you wait the harder it is to go back”. Thats total BS !~ when I worked as a computer tech at one of local colleges I helped people who were returning college students which were in their 60’s. My father in law is in his 50’s and he has no problems with finishing college at his age.

Besides there are plenty of highly successful people out there who never went to college. some of which are family members of mine.
A college education is a resource not a nessesity. But it’s a wise resource to take advantage of I must say.

17

I fully support your right to go or not go or start later.

But be aware that American society frequently punishes those who don’t go to college. Access to opportunity, pay scale for the opportunities that are available, the treatment you’ll sometimes receive from those who think there’s something special about having a degree. All of these and more will work against you without that sheepskin. They don’t call it a ‘working card’ for nothing.

But if you can live with that and be happy with it more power to you.

18

I think not going to college right out of high school can be good. Since I teach college now, I can say that I wish more people would take a little time off to gather some work and life experience, and then come to college with a little maturity. But I do hope you won’t make a firm decision right now never to go to college. I’m sure some do fine without it, but it really can open a lot of doors, once you decide which doors you want to go through. And yes, the money is there to help you pay for it, if you don’t mind filling out stacks of paperwork. I had been married and divorced and was paying child support when I started college, and I still managed. Grants, loans, scholarships, part-time jobs. Almost anyone can afford college.

I was 24 when I started college, and still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Now I’m 45, and if I could do it again, I would choose a different major. Still, my life is many times better now than I ever thought it would be. And I did a heck of a lot better in college than I would have if I had gone right after high school. Maybe I was “that creepy older guy” in class, but I still had more social life than I had time for, and my profs seemed to appreciate having someone my age in class.

My advice is to do what you want. Work, have some fun, and think about what you want to do. No need to close the door to college just yet, but no need to rush into it just because your high school teachers want you to.

19

College isn’t cheap, both in time and money. There’s no reason to do it without a purpose. I saw far too many people (myself included) who were just kind of wandering through it without any goal in mind. It’s fine to wander through a mall without necessarily wanting to buy anything, but college is way too expensive for browsing. If you’re not ready, don’t do it.

But on the other hand, keep in mind that it IS harder to back once you get older, so you may not want to put it off TOO long.

20

I’m in college and I, personally, love it. However, it would be better for me, as a dedicated student, if more of my so called peers had your self knowledge and testicular fortitude to stand up to Daddy and say, “No, I don’t want to go to college.” So good on you.

But if you have some free time, want to help me beat up the girl in my class who has whined for the last three years that she hates school, she hates math and science, and she hates all the work we do? Mind you, I’m in engineering. I have no clue what posessed her to think that engineering would be a good major for her, knowing her proclivities.

Anywa, bless you and your decision. If you want to start a conversion campaign of the sheep around you who are similarly unprepared for higher education, you are welcome to come to PA and start right here.

On the other hand, if you know that you are eventually college bound, you might want to take a class or two at a community college just to keep your academic edge. It doesn’t have to be anything huge, just enough to keep you in the habit of studying and writing papers once in a while. This will also give a college something to look at when you decide you want to go, they won’t just be left with your 5 year old high school records.