Tomorrow are the primaries for a number of government spots on both the local and state levels. Not that anyone would know that looking at Newsweek and Time’s cover of M. Night Shyamalan and Bruce Springsteen respectively. But I suppose if that’s the most important thing going on in the world…
Way to sidetrack right from the get go.
So yesterday I went to register in Lawrence. As it was a Sunday, I didn’t think I’d have much luck. But I knew the libraries were open and that’s where I registered for Prairie Village, also in Kansas, so it was worth it to try.
No dice. I can’t register there. But I could at either the courthouse or the post office across the street, neither of which were open today.
Today I got up and went to the Post Office. After waiting in line while the entire city of Lawrence tried to mail something to their great aunt Edna (twice removed), I finally got up to the counter.
“Hi, I’d like to register to vote.”
“You can’t do that here. Try the courthouse.”
“The librarian informed me that it was possible to register here.”
“Yes, well the librarian lied.”
That kind of talk is at least refreshing. So off I went to register. Along the way, I stopped by City Hall to learn more about the candidates I would be voting on. I didn’t want to go to the booths ignorant on the issues and marking an “X” merely because of name recognition from the various signs alongside the street.
So where else would I go but the information desk at City Hall. I am seeking information, am I not? They don’t have anything to offer me but a suggestion: try the Lawrence Journal World.
Now, I have nothing against the LJW. Journalistically, they’re not terrible and they serve the community well enough. But for the government to tell me that the best, and possibly only, way to find reliable information about the very people who will be running said government is through a private company, well I find that a bit surreal.
So I walk across the street and pick up a copy of the Sunday LJW for $1.25 which, I was to find out in less than 10 minutes, was money well wasted.
I drive half a mile down the street and stop in front of the courthouse. I get out, walk up to the entrance. Or, rather, I get close to the entrance as it’s closed for construction use the one on the other side thankyouverymuch. I walk around the building the long way, get inside, and see no place to register to vote.
I ask a guard where I go. He says “Oh, you want to courthouse.”
“This isn’t the courthouse?” obviously being fooled by the four courtrooms I passed on my way in.
“No, this is the municipal court. The courthouse is across the street.”
What a lovely semantic trick! Apparently in this double non-plus world, the courthouse tends to no court. Onward I march, this time the rest of the way around the building so that I end up almost right where I started off had I known where to go in the first place.
I walk in and find the place where I can actually register to vote. Truly a miraculous feat.
I ring the bell. Softly because the woman is at a desk not 10 feet away. I ask to register to vote. Her words were disappointing but not at all surprising: Ok, but you won’t be able to vote for the primaries tomorrow.
“I am registered in Kansas, you know.” Didn’t matter.
“Did you know that in Wisconsin, you can register to vote right there at the polls?” Well that’s not how we do it here.
“No possible way I can vote tomorrow?” Nope, but you’ll be all set for November.
Sigh. Thank you.
If you need me, I’ll be at home continuing to not contribute to society.
