I thought I was clear from the gitgo. I have and will accede to the wishes of the offended. I’m merely stating in the second quote however that be doing so the interpretation available to the offendee is that I accept there is something negative about the culture surrounding Christmas.
Towards that person. They’re asking you to modify your behavior towards them, not in general. I’m foul-mouthed with my close friends, but I guarantee you when someone asks me not to cuss because it offends them, I don’t fucking cuss in front of them.
Well, I’m not a close friend. Please don’t ever call me an idiot or a moron . It offends me.
Asshole is okay though. I don’t want to be a hypocrite.
It does nothing of the sort. I really can’t see how you get this interpretation. I’m not saying anything negative about the culture around Christmas - I’m just not part of it and don’t wish to be included. I wish you all the Christmas Joy in the world, but there’s nothing offensive or derogatory about asking to be left out.
If that is a problem then we have a fundamental disconnect.
Gotcha, asshole.
I think it really boils down to how much you want to be considerate toward someone. When it’s a retail clerk, the extent of our relationship is a business transaction; their beliefs or lack thereof don’t really concern me, and vice versa. When it’s someone who you encounter on a regular basis, consideration plays a stronger role.
There’s also the factor of how much good will you actually want to keep. If I want to be on good terms with someone, even if I only know them as a passing acquaintance, then I respect their wishes. If they piss me off for some reason, the good will isn’t as important, and at that point I might not really care that you don’t like to be called an idiot. (Pronoun switch-up for the win.) That’s why it looks to me like you’re intentionally provoking Telemark, or at the very least you don’t care about keeping good will with him. To that extent, claiming you’re saying “Merry Christmas” to spread good will is a bit disingenuous. Words themselves don’t have much meaning; it’s how they’re used that gives them such.
No, you’re not being asked to accept that at all.
Perhaps yet another analogy is in order. Let’s say you’re having lunch with a coworker. You’re eating a big roast beef sandwich and offer half to your coworker. Very kind of you, we can all agree. Your coworker says no thanks, he’s a vegetarian. All is well with the world. You then take out a piece of meat and wave it in front of his face, taunting him with things like “Bambi is DEAD! I ate the Easter bunny! Tonight I’m going to eat a big, bloody, juicy DEAD COW!” Then you’ve crossed over into being a jerk. Your coworker asks you politely to stop it. Then you have a (har har) cow, claiming that your coworker is oppressing your carniverous lifestyle. You’ve gone from being a jerk to being a jerk spoiling for a fight.
Having said that, peace on Earth and good will towards men, and if you don’t like it, go fuck yourself.
Correct. If Telemark tells a close friend who keeps badgering him with Merry Christmases to please stop it, the friend is perfectly free to be irritated. Just as if I ask you to please stop asking “What’s wrong?” and you continue to be intrusively “nice”, I am free to think of you as a thoughtless moron.
The kicker is this: A person can’t help being irritated or offended. A feeling is a feeling. It’s not right or wrong. It just “is”. But you can help saying “Merry Christmas”, as this is a conscious, willful act (unless you suffer from Tourette’s). So asking someone to stop doing something is much more reasonable a request than asking someone to feel something (or not feel something, which is what this thread is about).
Your Christmas spirit will not be ruined by stopping to consider that your friend Telemark does not celebrate Christmas and therefore would much rather have a “Happy holidays” or “Happy Hanukkah” or perhaps nothing at all. If you can’t be bothered to give a gift that a person would actually appreciate, then you don’t really have much of a Christmas spirit, do you?
Just so’s you know. I’m not one of the Christmas offended.
My senses are ‘offended’ by the non-religious side of it (ironically) but being wished merry Christmas is not offensive at all. I understand that I am being wished to enjoy this festive period.
I am sorry to hear this. I used to work with a Jehovah’s Witness, and she never discussed her religion at work. Many people there had no idea. She never took part in any parties that were related to any holidays or anyone’s birthdays, and I felt bad about that because I liked her. I often had to shoo younger employees away from trying to persuade her to come get cookies or whatever was being served at a Christmas party, and explain because they were bewildered.
She died about two years ago. I miss her. She had a lot of class.
Why would cookies be a problem? That kind of sucks. (For her, I mean.)
It wasn’t the cookies that were the problem (though they were, as she was a diabetic). It was that she declined to participate in events relating to holidays or birthdays. So if we were having a party because we’d just won some award or somebody was leaving or the Indians were in the playoffs, she’d be there and celebrating with the rest of us. If the party was a Christmas/birthday/Fourth of July, she wouldn’t have even a cup of punch.
I respected her dedication, much the more so because she never, never said why. If anybody asked, she just answered, “Oh, no, thanks, not for me today, another time, thanks.” Very pleasantly and without a hint of martyrdom, offense or proselytizing.