I'm old! Why am I old?

Cafe Society
21

I’m looking forward to my old age.

I’ve started telling kids how thrilled I was to get a cassette tape player, and how we thought our VCR was the pinnacle of home entertainment technology.

I tell them that my first computer had a 256 meg hard drive and watch their jaws drop. I tell them about floppy disks which really were floppy and watch them smile. I tell them my first cell phone weighed a pound and they shake their heads in disbelief.

I’d like to tell them that politicians were more honest, kids politer and the streets safer in my day, but I think I’ll have to wait a while before that one will fly.

I’m looking forward to having an excuse not to be fashionably dressed.

I’m looking forward to being able to get a discount just because of my age.

Lastly, I’m looking forward to being able to blame the younger generation for all of what’s wrong with the world.

22

That already happens to me, and I’m only 27. I’m so screwed.

23

Well, I’d never say I was old like you people.

But a few months ago I heard a song I danced to at my high school prom on the Weather Channel. It was pretty horrible.

(Come on ride the train. You know it.)

24

Well, I’d never say I was old like you people.

But a few months ago I heard a song I danced to at my high school prom on the Weather Channel. It was pretty horrible.

(Come on ride the train. You know it.)

25

I realized I was old when I was a radio DJ in 1990 and got a call from an apparently about 12 year old girl:

Me: Hi! Q-103!

Girl: Ric, don’t you and John (my newsman) like the New Kids on the Block?

Me: No, not really.

Girl: Why not? Don’t you know they’re bigger than the Beatles?

(insert sound effect of a 6’ 7" man fainting away dead on the floor)

26

The Weather Channel also had the instrumental part of Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” during the local forecasts…that is sooooooooo sacrilegious…

27

You’re not old until you tell your kids to turn down their music.

If it’s too loud, you’re too old.

28

First time I felt old was when a college student said to me, “Wow. I just realized. You were alive when JFK was killed, weren’t you?”

And that was twenty years ago! :eek:

29

If you’re old, it only means those slackers were too lazy to be born before you!

So this is what persistence brings.

30

Things that make you go hmm…

The other day, when watching a new video with Beyoncé, and realizing at the exact same moment that:

  1. She’s probably the most beautiful and sexy woman alive right now, and
  2. She would certainly think I’m an old geezer(sp?) and that
  3. made me feel like a dirty old man.

The moment it really hit me is very clear. It wasn’t having to write down everything in a calendar (which I started at 38), or seeing my brand new profile (snake who’s swallowed a baseball, not flattering) or discovering that I prefer bars where I can get a seat, and that aren’t so crowded.
But the thing that made it for me was a pair of sunglasses. A few years ago the pilot style of Ray-Bans came back in fashion here. ‘Cool’, thought I and digged trough some drawers. Found my pair, which I stopped using, about the time I donned a pair of Wayfarers (circa 1982). My the SO looked at me and told me to take them off. I asked why, and she said that I only looked like an old guy who had kept using them and didn’t have a clue about fashion (which I do), and they made me look pathetic or ridiculous.
When fashion you had as a teen (flaired jeans) come back in style when you’ve passed your 40th birthday, you know you’re old.

Also, and paraphrasing Terry Pratchett: When I was young, the world was full of old boring poeple. Now that I get older, I expected to find them. But they’re not here. The world is now full of young and annoying people.

31

You are old. Better wash that Beyoncé image down with a little Funky Cold Medina.

32

Can I have a drink and Beyoncé? I’ll take that to go. No refund policy necessary.