I’ve just been notified by two separate emails that I’ve hit the UK National Lottery; one ticket (that I never bought) entitles me to 1,000,000 pounds sterling; the other ticket (that I never bought) entitles me to 251,420 pounds sterling. All I have to do is forward my bank account info so the money can be credited. I don’t know what to buy first; suggestions will be welcome.
Buy a really cool hat. All rich people have cool hats. No, really, they do!
Congrats on your fortune. Will you still acknowledge us now that you’re wealthy?
My mom works at a bank and told me the sad story of an elderly customer who lost his life savings responding to such an email.
Most of me feels sad for the old guy. Part of me thinks: How did you live so long? C’mon, didn’t it dawn on you that you didn’t buy a freaking ticket?
A lot of newly wealthy people buy Rolls Royces for randomly selected people who live in south Georgia. It’s a fact. Should you feel so inclined, I randomly live in south Georgia. Just sayin’ is all.
I’m sure I’m not more than five miles from you, ten tops. Can I swing over for so you can buy me lunch?
And a monocle, with over a million pounds you need to have a monocle.
[Bender]I don’t think you understand how rich he really is. <puts on monocle> Huh? Huh? [/Bender]
I have a terrific offer for a nearly new bridge, since you are a fellow doper I´m willing to sell it to you at discount prize. By the way you may want to check my selection of fine, pre-owned mailboxes too. 
I’ve decided to let bygones be bygones; I’m gonna give the winning tickets to my exwife.
I ate lunch in Seminole yesterday. I was going to send you my receipt for reimbursement since you didn’t make it. Drat!
hi, rich.
I’m Dorothy.