I'm running for mayor of San Francisco and I need pointers

I’m not a “native” San Franciscan, but I’ve been there enough times to have some idea what’s going on.

What Army? Maybe they can rename it Lucasfilm Street…

Besides, they’re probably waiting for Oakland and Berkeley to change MLK Junior Way back to Grove Street.

His election was significant, and I think that was the point. There would be things named after him even if he had died of natural causes or an accident.

Why do I have the feeling they do this to make it easier to identify potential suicides?

Define “fireworks”. You want to make cherry bombs legal? Even the kind of fireworks they sell in stores where fireworks are legal (e.g. Fairfield) are fire hazards, especially in drought years.

What Italians? They all moved to Hayward in 1980. (Or was that just my grandmother? She lived near Union & Kearney until her husband died.)

You make it sound like it’s a title the city actively covets. Wasn’t there a time when the city made it a point to turn people away who had HIV if they were sent here by their parents who thought that this is where they “belonged”?

I thought the city already has one - every October 12 or so.

No comment about the Mount Davidson Cross?
What’s your opinion on a freeway connecting the Golden Gate Bridge to either the Bay Bridge or 280 (to get to the airport)?

You forgot one:

Either get the second deck of the Golden Gate Bridge working (assuming it’s possible, with the winds), or put in a traffic divider, even if it means only having three lanes of traffic in the commute direction.

Et cetera. That sounds like an awful lot of work. Wouldn’t it be much easier for you to move somewhere else where things are the way you like them?

Like Orange County?

Pray The Gay Away!

Are you sure you want both “white” and “heterosexual” in there?

Think carefully before you answer. The Boolean intersection of homophobes and White Nationalists is probably a bit smaller than you think it is.

You haven’t heard of GTICT? “Gay to Irish Conversion Therapy”. Substitute pasta for potato and you can change the ‘Irish’ to ‘Italian’.

Give them foreign passports, obviously.

There’s a park named after Chavez in Santa Ana.

Spam? [JackBlack]Nay![/JackBlack] This is the best reason to sign up for the Dope ever!

Seriously, I was hoping for more in the OP, but good on ya, son.