I'm running for my HOA board

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

It’ll hopefully be my first political office. :wink:

We have a three member board for a complex with 160 units. The entire board is up for election, so I threw my name in the ring. The only other people running are the incumbent President, another incumbent member, and the wife of the old guy who is stepping down.

I’d like the experience. I go to most of the meetings already and try to contribute positive ideas and feedback.

The old guy who is stepping down and his wife are kind of… unrealistic… about what the HOA should be doing. Roughly 10% of our community is vacant right now, with most vacancies being in foreclosure. The HOA is barely making ends meet. He and his wife want to lower the HOA fees AND remove the speedbumps in our community AND replace the emergency fire department entrance with a fully-functioning entrance gate. There’s just no money for such projects right now.

I hope I get elected. I’m going to talk to my neighbors as I see them outside about my candidacy. I talk to a few at meetings, and we discuss what the board is doing and how we’d do things differently. I hope I can get their support.

Anyone have good stories about HOA board membership?

#2

In my experience, HOA boards tend to have one of two mindsets:

  • “The developer is trying to sell the units, so we have to keep HOA fees low.” “But the developer sold the last of the units years ago.” “Oh! Well… we still have to keep the fees low.”

Which sooner or later leads into your case:

  • Soaring into HOA board membership on the wings of good intentions, only to have nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.

I was on my condo’s HOA finance committee just after the splashdown into reality, when we had to double fees and levy special assessments to make long-term repairs. Two boards and 5-6 years previously, they should have made sure we’d have the money – but they kept fees low. Your own board’s splashdown will be its own thing, and I think you see it already.

#3

Enjoy dealing with the crazies! Seriously. People are crazy. When I was on my HOA board, we had residents calling us for the most ridiculous thing. One insisted that we intervene when her neighbor put one of those colorful Rubbermaid houses and toddler slides in her backyard.

“Have you asked her to take it down?”

“No! That would be rude.”

“And yet you expect us to do it?”

“It’s your JOB.”

“It’s my job to notify neighbors that their slide offends you?”

“Yes. You’re on the HOA.”

“There’s no covenant against installing play equipment.”

“There should be! It’s an eyesore and I’m sick of looking at it.”

“That’s unfortunate, but it’s really not the HOA’s business unless she is breaking a rule.”

“You know, I don’t know why I bother even paying my dues.” (click.)

Sigh.

#4

I went to my HOA open meeting in December. Out of 130 units, 2 were represented. Me and one other owner were there, and he was there only to ask what sort of storm door should he buy. I somehow heard myself volunteering for the open board position. I gave the president my name, address, phone number, email. Haven’t heard a thing from her and I neglected to get her contact info, foolishly thinking that the president of the HOA would let me know when the next meeting was.

#5

If I were on an HOA board, I’d make it my business to let everyone know that asinine rules like no trucks, no parking in your own fucking driveway, must cut lawn every two days to a length of 2.4566" do nobody any good whatsoever and they can all suck my black cock if they think otherwise.
I don’t think I’d be on the board for too long…

#6

I’d vote for ya!

#7

All our board members are like that. You’d fit right in!

Well, except for the rule about parking in the driveways. The board tried to change it, but it turns out that it’s mandated by the fire marshall.