The last things I expect to find on the internet are examples of truth, compassion, beauty and love. That this thread delivers all is a testament to you. Get well soon.
Hard to tell if its the pain killers or cellphone typing but either way just get better.
Where’s the poll?
Not sure what I can say that hasn’t already been said, but if this were a Get Well Soon card that we were passing around, I’d be sure to sign it.
You haven’t slept, have you? The 3-5 am crazies are the worst. Virtual hugs.
Get well. Find out what’s going on (IBS? C. diff? Another bug?) If you can’t sleep, you won’t get better. Ask your doc for something to help that.
Don’t beat yourself up right now; it won’t accomplish anything. If you can’t let the thoughts go (and FWIW, some medications can make these thoughts worse – prednisone and other steroids, for example), make a list of what you want to do better and your notes on how. Then put the list away until you are out of the hospital and healed. Then do as much as you can to complete that list.
Gute besserung!
Positive thoughts radiating out to you.
Of Pallas Athene, guardian of the city, I begin to sing.
Dread is she, and with Ares she loves deeds of war, the sack of cities and the shouting and the battle.
It is she who saves the people as they go out to war and come back.
Hail, goddess, and give us good fortune with happiness!
Yeah, I agree, the past is gone and if you made mistakes you can just (continue to) redouble your efforts to live better in the present/future.
The good thing about life, is that you get more than one chance to make things right. There is nothing you can do about the past, so stop dwelling on it. Get yourself better physically, and move forward. Feel free to PM me if you want to vent or whine, it’s no problem.
{{{{{Skald}}}}}
When my mom was in the hospital recently we found that the worst part was the not knowing, and whenever a doctor or therapist gave us new information, it helped because it was a move forward.
There is always a way forward.
I’m going to mail mine right now!
You sound better already. Happier, at least.
And if you DO need a fecal transplant, you sure came to the right place…
Hang in there, Skald. It’s human to be scared in the face of illness, but try your best not to turn that fear into beating yourself up about past mistakes. If I am sure of anything in this world, it is that illness is not retribution. You are more loved and have done more good than you realize. Please try to take that in and believe it.
Skaldy! I’m so sorry to see this. I understand completely. I went through years of pain and fear with gastro crap they couldn’t diagnose at the time. The doctors told me I wouldn’t make it to 21 (I was 16 at the time) but they couldn’t tell me exactly what was wrong.
But I did. And you’ll get through this too. I’ll tell you the biggest mistake I made was trying to be tough and brave. I didn’t bother the doctor with every little symptom, and I let things get too bad before I kicked and screamed for help.
Pester!
Nag!
Insist!
Be a wimp if you have to, but make them take every twinge seriously until you are back to feeling strong and normal. If a doctor says the word “psychosomatic” fire them immediately. Do not go back to that one.
Release the monkeys if you have to.
And let us know if we can do anything at all for you.
{{{{{Skald}}}}}
This pretty much says it. Try to keep holding on. I’m glad you got good painkillers. For what it’s worth, I’ve found my personal philosophy to be very helpful. It is: “Shit happens.” I find the universe much easier to cope with from a perspective where there’s no one out there controlling things, random stuff occurs, and sure as hell people don’t necessarily get what they deserve.
hang in there Skald.
Epic (awesome or unfortunate) username/post combo!
Get better, Skald! That’s an order! 
What, no hypothetical-based poll?
I spent a month in the hospital over Christmas/New Years, and another month in rehab due to my Crohn’s colitis. As an added bonus, I had a couple of kidney stones and pulmonary embolisms. I got very down and more than once was awake at 2 in the morning, crying. It was rough. Very fucking rough.
Hang in there. If they could fix me, they can fix you.
Take care and stay strong.
Good to hear you’re doing a little better Skald old bean. Remember, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. It’s on the list, but it is the last thing. 
Satch