I'm Searching - Describe Your Religion's Services

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’d like to explore different religions and get to know more about them then just the one I was raised in (LDS).

A little bit of background: Both Rico and I were raised LDS. He left the church when he was 20. I was very active until a few years ago and then went through a period of questioning if I believed in things because that was really what worked for me or if it was because I was just doing it out of habit. Turns out it was habit.

I haven’t been to church for a while now and miss the fellowship. I don’t know anyone in our area and since I don’t work, I don’t really get out much. My main social network is through the computer and personal contact socially is from “fests”. Becoming involved with a church would provide social interaction for me.

Don’t get me wrong. That’s not my only reason for wanting to go but the one that I’m choosing to share at this point.

[ul]
[li]Please walk me through what a typical church service is like from the time you walk in the front door to the time you walk out.[/li][li]Is Sunday dress what is expected or would slacks/jeans (I could only hope :)) would be appropriate.[/li][li]Summarize what your religion believes.[/li][li]Rico has no interest in attending any church services and I am really torn between wanting to spend the weekends with him. I’m curious if you think it would be more important for you to spend the time with your SO or to take some time out for yourself and why.[/li][/ul]

2

I’m a lapsed Catholic and haven’t been to mass in years, so my impressions could be a little out of date:

–There’s a structured recitation of specific prayers, during which everyone sits, stands, kneels or sings. Just check out what everyone else is doing and follow suit; you won’t be the only one, I assure you. Most of the people “singing” are just quietly moving their lips. There’s a reading of a gospel passage, a sermon where the priest appears to be winging it, the collection plate, communion (Skip churches that use whole wheat eucharist; trust me), a last blast of prayer and singing, and then you leave. Protestant ministers, esp. Southern Baptist and Assemblies of God, speak in an exaggerated, not-conversational way that engages your emotions and directly addresses the spirit; Catholic priests, during the sermon, resemble sedate college professors by contrast (although they dress pretty wild for mass).

–Most people wear their “Sunday best.” Some dress down a little. Some people bring their kids in soccer uniforms, which I think is tacky. Trust me, you’re gonna have a lot of time to check out what everyone is wearing. If you have to wear jeans, wear a sportcoat with it.

–Catholics believe in the Holy Trinity, the authority of the Pope, the Bishop and all the clergy, praying to saints as intercessors (The Blessed Virgin Mary is a big favorite), and we consider the Papacy to be an unbroken (well, there were a couple of Anti-Popes) line that starts with St. Peter and runs to John Paul II. We consider ourselves to be successors to the original Christians, with all the Orthodox/Coptic/Protestant schisms breaking off from our original line (This belief is not widely held outside the Catholic Church).

Hope this helps.

3

I’m a non-practicing Catholic considering the Episcopal church, but I haven’t yet gotten myself to attend an Episcopal service (hey, I’m nervous).

As far a dress for a Catholic Mass, however, it really depends on which Mass you go to. The Saturday evening Mass (which counts for Sunday) tends to be more casual - I regularly went to those in Jeans and a nice shirt. Sunday morning Masses, people are much dressier. All of this does depend somewhat on the parish itself and the attendees - there is no set dress code for attending.

4

I would suggest the Unitarian Universalists. This church is accepting of all faiths and encourages the spiritual exploration of all of its members in what ever direction they choose. Services are varied and can include a wide variety of elements. The traditional things like music and a “sermon” are often present.

Dress in every UU service I have ever been to is very casual and blue jeans and a pull over are common.

The UU church is centered on the belief that each individual has a unique path to the divine. It encourages everyone in thecongregation to experience all form of spirituality and to gravitate to that which speaks to them most directly. The church can even be a path through which you eventually decide to move on to a different church if that is where your search leads you. The reason I suggested UU is that it sounds like you are searching and this church would be supportive in your quest.

First to answer the question you actually asked. Yes I think you should find a way to get out of the house. If church is the way you want to manage that then so be it. Spending time with Rico is only one of your responsibilities in this relationship. It is at least equally important that you be fulfilled. You can’t contribute fully to a relationship if you are not satisfying your own needs first.

There are also benefits for Rico in a UU congrigation. I don’t know what interactions he craves but there are a lot of things going on in a typical UU congrigation other than service. The local church here has a political round table that meets after service hosted by a reporter who covers the state government for local media. If they don’t have something he would enjoy I am sure they would be open to him starting one.

The caveat I would offer is that UU’s tend to be liberal. It is almost a requirement because you will be worshipping next to people who have vastly different religious ideas than you do and you need to accept their legitimacy in order to attend. So if you are very conservative in your outlook then it may not be your cup of tea.

5 
 I believe church is important because even though you can be saved by simple faith in what Jesus, God has provided the local church as a means of fellowshipping and growing in Christ.  Spiritual growth comes by reading the Bible (while there are others who disagree, the King James Version Bible is the one that comes from the Greek Textus Receptus totally and thus is the one for me personally), prayer, witnessing, going to church, and giving of yourself as well as money.

 My advice would be to go to an Adult Bible Fellowship or Wednesday (Sunday if it's a really small church) night prayer service.  Get to know the poeple, then check out the main worship service.  It's important to get focused on the services b/c it will help Rico once he is ready.  And, a good church will go to visit *him* first once you go, so that he can meet the pastor or whoever else and see that these are not all bad people.  Maybe he'll attend Sunday School/ABF with you.

 Our church's website is www.cantonbaptist.org if you would like to see further about us, though by CA I am assuming you are in California, perhaps you coud e-mail our church office and they can recommend you a church like ours in your area.
6

Our Christian church is a member of the Evangelical Coventant Churches. As to core beliefs, here’s the word from their website:

What is a Covenant Church?
[ul]
[li]Evangelical, but not exclusive[/li][li]Biblical, but not doctrinaire[/li][li]Traditional, but not rigid[/li][li]Congregational, but not independent[/li][/ul]

The Covenant Mission
[ul]
[li]We are united by Christ in a holy covenant of churches empowered by the Holy Spirit to obey the Great Commandments and the Great Commission: [/li][li]…to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind;[/li][li]…to love our neighbor as ourselves, and [/li][li]…to go into all the world and make disciples.[/li][/ul]

“Biblical but not doctrinaire” is the thing I like about it. There’s no official position on the end of the world, for example. We shouldn’t have anybody saying that the world will end on Jun 3, 2005 or anything. As a group, we agree that the bible says that there will be an end of the world and we aren’t supposed to argue much about specifically when. We shouldn’t argue about the nature of Hell as much as agree that Hell is a place that you don’t want to go to.

One oft-repeated statement, though, is “Where is it written”. If somebody says, “Well, we shouldn’t do this-and-so” a Covenanter might challege with “Where is it written?” The bible is the authority on matters but not necessarily a literal word-for-word interpretation.

We have three services on Sunday and a Wednesday night dinner/fellowship/study night. The three services on Sunday are (in sequence) Traditional format, “Blended” format, & Contemporary.

Traditional uses old-style organ hymns, the more-traditional liturgical language. More of the “smells & bells” feel of the old Lutheran/Catholic/Episcopal teachings.

Blended uses some of the old-stuff but mixes in more contemporary music, maybe the occasional video or “drama”. It’s more upbeat and rowdy. It’s the most attended service for our church.

Contemporary service is lots of contemporary music, a shortened message (sermon), and uses more video & other modern worship stuff. It’s a favorite with our younger members.

The Covenant doesn’t have a liturgy. In the old musty-dusty Episcopal church I attended, there’s a book that says on the third Sunday in such-and-so religious season, you perform this service. There’s no such thing in the Covenant. Each church can create the service as they want within the broad guidelines of the parent denomination (if I understand correctly).

For our blended service, which I usually attend, you arrive (9:30) and are seated. The service will start with a call-to-worship song and then it’s the prayers of the church and general announcements. Usually, then, it’s 3 or 4 songs followed by a song by the choir. The choir song is often combined with the taking of tithes and offerings or sometimes proceeds that and a single-individual will present a song during the offering. Then it’s the message (aka: sermon), another song, the benediction and you’re done. Sometimes the choir does the call-to-worship, sometimes other things are rearranged. It varies with the needs of the day.

We do a communion on the first Sunday of each month. We’re a big church and it’s a lengthy procedure so we don’t do it every Sunday. Communion is done with grape juice rather than wine. This is for two reasons, both related to inclusiveness. We have recovering alcoholics who’s needs need to be considered and we have members who don’t drink alcohol for religious reasons. Our church has no position on drinking (although, I suspect, drunkeness is discouraged) but grape juice allows all to partake in communion.

Dress is whatever you want. Our teens often come in jeans & t-shirts. Adults and families are typically in slacks & shirts. Most of our suit-wearers are our white-haired set. The congregation, in my opinion, makes an effort to be inclusive & tolerant.

7

1- Go to a park and say howdy to the ducks and nature.

2- Wear any thing you damn well please.

3- Animism. There’s a spirit in everything - trees, fish, grass, water, cats, etc. There’s no “born with sin” kind of thing. Nothing to repent for. Just need to respect everything.

4- An hur or two in the weekends is no big deal, if it really matters to you.

8

Generic Protestant - it’s a sing-a-long followed by a lecture. (I grew up Covenant (Hi Belrix!) and now attend a Presbyterian Church. I’ve attended a lot of places in between)

Or, more precisely:

  • You walk in, you are generally greeted by someone (it may be an usher…in a really small church, it may be everyone). Generally, it’s obvious where sanctuary is. You will be handed a program. If seating is limited, the usher will try and find you a seat. If it’s not, you sit somewhere.
    At the start of the service, someone will generally welcome everyone - from there on, follow the program. In more liturgical churches, congregants are expected to know what will happen next… we don’t. It’s all there, who is going to say what, and when; it lists when to stand, when to sit, what page to turn to. There are no moments when the congregation spontaneously breaks out into song or chants as though in some kind of weird religious musical. Every moment will be in the program, visitors are not caught off guard. Generally, though, announcements, prayer (not set, not specific, probably the Lord’s prayer somewhere in there), and singing (both the choir alone and the choir with the congregants - you’ll know which is which) come first, then someone will give a sermon, probably a closing song. Usually there is an offering somewhere in there (but not always). There may be communion. This is not set in stone…when I went to a smaller church that had a usual order, but from time to time, the normal order would be jettisoned because someone felt like doing something special that week. (But still, whatever we were doing was in the program.)
    Afterwards, people tend to mill around outside the sanctuary, visiting &tc. There will be coffee somewhere (possibly treats, too. But there is always coffee.) Then people head home.

  • I think that has more to do with geography and formality in your area and of the specific church. I go to church in jeans as do very many of the people I see there (but then I go to a church near a university), and when I was church shopping I went in slacks to make sure I wouldn’t bother people and was usually close to overdressed (it’s also an incredibly casual city). As long as someone’s clothing isn’t indecent, it’s probably ok.

  • The Apostle’s Creed is a pretty basic summary. (Email me if you want specific details about certain issues.)

  • I really can’t answer that. But, I will put in that service is generally about an hour (1.5 hours tops). In other words, if I go to the 7:00pm service (because I felt like sleeping in that morning and early afternoon), I can still usually get to the store to buy dinner and then make it home in time to see Alias (Admittedly, I do live close to my church). Yes, it involves a part of my weekend - but not the entire thing.

9

I like your openness to new religious experiences. May I suggest that you spend the next three months sitting in on services being held at various churches and synagogues in your area? I am sure it would be very educational and help you gain some self-knowledge about what you really desire.

10

I recommend the beliefnet site (www.beliefnet.com) if you want to learn a little about different faiths. Also in this site is the amazing Belief-O-Matic for finding out which religion corresponds to your beliefs.

11
  1. Eastern Orthodoxy has possibly the most complex and ornate rite in all of Christendom. The Sunday service alone usually lasts from 1.5 to 3 hours. What follows is a brief (very brief) description of the typical Sunday service in the Great Russian tradition, with which I am most familiar; the Greeks and Little Russians have slight variations in their practice.

The Sunday service starts with the reading of the third and sixth hours. These are short services, lasting about 10 minutes each, that mainly consist of psalms. During this time, the congregation will gradually filter in, and light candles, buy prosphora (loaves of bread from which particles are taken to commemorate individuals during the Eucharistic prayer), venerate icons, and then take their place standing in the church (usually there are no pews, and men stand on the right, women on the left. Even if there are pews, people stand). Around this time, the priest is finishing up the service of preparation of the gifts to be used in the Eucharist, which he has been doing for the past hour or so; he will open the doors and curtain in the iconostas, or wall in front of the altar, and come out and cense the church. Afterwards, he will close the doors again.

The Divine Liturgy itself begins with a long litany: the priest or deacon intones petitions, and the choir responds with “Lord have mercy.” After the litany, there are chanted several psalms and hymns, there is a procession with the gospel book, the Trisagion hymn is chanted, and the epistle and Gospel are read. The priest may give a homily after the gospel, or he may wait until the end of the service to do so.

After the first part of the liturgy described above, the Eucharistic portion beings. There are several long litanies, and then the choir chants a long hymn known as the Cherubic Hymn, while the clergy prepare to process around the church with the Eucharistic gifts. The iconostas is censed again at this time. The clergy come out of the iconostas and back in through the main doors in front of the altar, while commemorating the bishops, civil authorities, and faithful present. After the procession returns to the altar, the doors and curtain are closed. There follows another litany, the curtain is opened, and the Nicene creed is sung. The Eucharistic prayer begins with a short dialog between the priest and the choir. Most of it is recited silently, while the final response in the dialog, the Sanctus, the hymn “We praise Thee”, and a hymn to the Theotokos are chanted by the choir. The words of institution are always said aloud. After the Eucharistic prayer, there follow more litanies, the Lord’s prayer is sung, and the curtain is closed for the communion of the clergy. The communion of the laity is given from the chalice, with a spoon, the bread having been divided and placed in it. Most laity do not commune on an average Sunday. Afterwards, there are a few hymns sung, a final litany, and the final benediction, after which the people line up to venerate the cross and receive a piece of blessed bread. There’s usually food and coffee after the liturgy, as most people have been fasting since midnight.

The full service can be found at http://www.ocf.org/OrthodoxPage/liturgy/liturgy.html.

  1. Sunday dress differs from congregation to congregation; most Greeks will dress up in “Sunday best” (i.e. suit-and-tie or equivalent), while Russians are more relaxed, usually coming in slacks and a decent shirt or equivalent. Russian women tend to cover their heads, while many (but not all) Greeks will forgo the headcovering.

  2. http://www.oca.org/pages/orth_chri/index.htm is an excellent source of information on Orthodoxy.

  3. No idea.

12

I currently attend a Presbyterian church in a large East Coast (USA) city. Our church is probably considered the more moderate of the Presbyterian churches within city limits. There are more conservative and more liberal branches.

I wear jeans, cords, or Gramicci rock pants and a sweater. The dress code varies by age and by income.

There is an organ prelude, a brief choral piece, and then the choir processes into the church during the first hymn.

The pastor greets the congregation, there is a prayer of confession, an assurance of pardon, and the Lord’s Prayer.

Then we sing a Psalm. We have the benefit of having a Catholic cantor as part of our choir – he sings the verses of the Psalms and we sing the refrain.

There is an Old Testament scripture reading and a Gospel reading. The sermon usually comes after the Gospel reading. After the sermon we sing another hymn and say the Apostles’ Creed or sometimes the Nicene Creed. Then there is a congregational prayer, another hymn, the benediction, and an organ postlude.

Unfortunately I’m a little tipsy right now and not disposed to more detail. I’m also describing things in terms familiar to churchgoers. I don’t know if it all makes sense to you. Please feel free to ask me questions and I’ll try to answer in the next day or two.

13

I just tried the “Belief-O-Matic” that BobLibDem mentioned. It nailed me. I particularly like its disclaimer:

14

I attend services at a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. Our current members are from Christian, Jewish, pagan, LDS, Catholic, Humanist, Atheist, agnostic, B’Hai, and Native American backgrounds, We also have a few life-long UUs and a Sufi healer in our midst.

Our services vary from week to week, so it is important to attend at least 4 or 5 services to get an indication of what we’re about. We are very casual–shorts and sandals are not uncommon in summer.

Our “typical” service varies, as I said, but unless we’re having a drumming circle or a solstice service, the consistent elements each week are as follows:

Coffee and conversation before fellowship
Ring the bell to call to worship
Sing from our hymnal (these can be traditional hymns, spritiuals, or from any faith)
Welcome and announcements
A reading to light the chalice
The sharing of Joys and concerns (members and guests may choose to come up, share a joy or concern either silently or aloud, and light a candle from the chalice)
We sing another song or have a responsive reading (our readings draw a lot on Emerson, Theodore Parker, Thoreau, etc.)
We read a Story for all ages (the kids come to the froont for the story)
We sing the children out to their RE classes
We invite the bell and meditate
We have a homily (we don’t have a minister, so members of other faiths minister to us or we have lay persons from within our congregation or the community speak or we hear from a social justice organization or we read poetry…)
We sing again
Offering is taken
We hold hands and sing a song together
benediction

After fellowship, we enjoy Fair Trade Coffee and refreshments and we talk a lot. Once a month we have a pot luck. Our kids put on a service about once a quarter.

In RE, our 5-10 year-olds are learning our Seven Principles and our junior high kids are learning comparative religion and involving themselves in social action projects.

UUs are erroneously known as those who “believe anything.” That’s not true. We have a set of seven principles that all who are members must adhere to. They are:

The inherent worth and dignity of every person;

Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;

Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;

A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;

The right of conscience and the use of democratic process within our congregations andin society at large;

The goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all;

Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

We also have an adult discussion group once a week and we debate current events and philosophy. We are not all like minded, so it’s quite interesting. Mostly, what I love is the respect we give one another to find our own path.

15

Yea, it brought some stuff into a new light for me. I kinda figured I’d swing towards Unitarian-Universalist, but I didn’t know I was 100%. And I had something like 73% in common with Reform Judaism, of all things.

16

Baha’i checking in.

Don’t know if what we do could properly be called “services”. We have two different kinds of things that we do regularly (I’m not counting celebrations of Holy Days):
Feast:
We celebrate Feast every 19 days. Non-Baha’is cannot attend Feast. I usually tell people that it’s because Feast is when we sacrifice the goats :smiley: . Really, it’s just because it’s where we consult on administrative issues, and also when we collect money (non-Baha’is are not allowed to contribute). But, the typical Feast goes like this: (we don’t have clergy, so whoever hosts the Feast kinda runs it)
Prayers (everyone gets a chance to pray. We usually all bring along prayer books, but several are in the center of the room for public use)
Readings from Holy texts. The host picks these, and distributes them to whoever he/she thinks should read them.
Reading of the Feast letter (these letters are sent to us for each Feast from the National Spiritual Assembly)
Consultation on anything we need to consult on (like, if NSA is asking for donations for particular projects, we discuss how much we have in the bank, and how much to donate).
Refreshments and fellowship: cookies, crackers with cheese, nuts, tea and usually some juice. A lot of Baha’is in America are from Iran, so tea is a big cultural thing. I understand that in communities where more of the friends are American, coffee is often served.

Devotional gatherings:
These go alot like Feasts, but without the Feast letter, collection box, or consultations.
Prayers and devotional readings from any Holy texts (i.e. Bible, Qu’ran, Baghavad Ghita, Kitab-i-Aqdas, Torah, whatever)
Discussion (like, if someone wants us to pray for a particular thing or person)
Fellowship and refreshments.

Dress is pretty casual. There are certain Holy Day celebrations where we dress pretty nice, and we can dress nice any time we feel like it. Our gatherings are usually during the week, in the evening. Whole thing takes maybe an hour to 90 minutes.

We believe that God sent a series of Divine Messengers that include: Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, The Bab, and Baha’u’llah. He sent us these messengers to teach mankind what it was ready to learn at the time. All the messages are valid. We believe that God wants us to be happy and that He has given us everything we need to attain that happiness. We believe in the equality of men and women, and racial equality. If interested in more info, check out www.bahai.org

17

That’s just wrong! At the Orange Coast Unitarian Universalist Church (California) we do the “Joys and Sorrows” after we extinguish the chalice and just before the end of the service. Are you guys a bunch of schismatics? Do we need to send someone to bring you poor misguided souls back into the fold?

I choose the Unitarian Universalists because, IMHO, it’s one of the rare denominations where an atheist such as myself can go to church without feeling hypocritical. There are also many social action programs that are associated with the church so one can get involved that way.

18

I’d just like to chime in on the UU lovefest thing briefly. Although I am not a member myself, I had the priviledge of speaking to one of their youth groups for a while in one of my volunteer capacities. I also attended part of their service and a circle discussion afterwards. I must say, having grown up and lapsed Catholic, I have never been in a room filled with such intense faith in my life. Almost certainly unorthodox, but you could tell every adult (and most teenage children I saw) honestly wished to be there for reasons outside of obligation. Though no two of them might agree about the best way (except they might agree there is no “best way”) to worship, I can line them up with the most wild holy roller evangelical and find the same permeating rapture in spirituality. A quieter sort, maybe, but no less powerful for that concession.

19

I’m a congregationalist, and this is prety much right on. Someimes there isn’t even a sermon. As for our specific beliefs, it’s pretty layed back. We (although there are always exeptions, mostly from older people) are open to most any Christians, be they gay, straight, white, black, whatever. My reverand is in his 40’s or 50’s and has an earring. As for dress code: as long as it’s not obscene, it’s okay.