I'm So Reamed (2 1/2 hours to the Pediatrics Final)

I’m dicked, and dicked deep.

In a mere 2 1/2 hours, I’ll be walking into my Pediatrics final.

In my long and illustrous academic career, I’ve been unprepared for many a test. I’ve even walked into some finals far colder than I expected. Never, though, have I gone to take a final after only minimal studying in a class I had two months ago.

You see, we have Peds and then OB/GYN, and then have finals in both at the end of the four months. Why we don’t just take the Peds final at the end of Peds no one has ever been able to fucking explain to me. What’s worse, I was on Gynecology last month, which was hands down the most miserable month of my life (a whole other rant that I never had the energy to type out). I barely had time and energy to study any Gyn, much less Peds.

What’s more, the Peds final is a shelf exam, which means it’s ridiculously hard. In reviewing last night, I realized how completely clueless I am. Congenital heart disease? No clue. Glycogen storage diseases? Might as well be written in Swahili. I feel like I could probably diagnose otitis media if it came in pulling its ear, but you get too far beyond that and I haven’t the faintest.

Jesus W. Bush, am I ever reamed.

On the bright side, I feel better about tomorrow’s OB/GYN final. On the brighter side, I found out that residency programs only get the grades from our first two blocks of fourth year, so come October 1, you can just call me Cookie Monster. (“C is for Cookie–that’s good enough for me!”)

Dr. J

Good luck. :slight_smile:

I dunno, I get a bit of an uneasy feeling when a future doctor says “a C is good enough for me”. Of course, I also get an uneasy feeling when by brother in law (doctor) says he became a doctor because his grades weren’t good enough to get him into Veterinary school. :eek:

Seriously, though, good luck dude. :wink:

You know what they call the guy who graduates from medical school at the bottom of his class?

Best of luck to ya.

I took the Peds shelf exam about 2 months ago. Sorry to say this, but it was really tough. Lots of esoterica pediatrica.

On the bright side, though, the tests are set up so that 90-95% of student’s pass them on the first try. So while you may leave the exam thinking you failed, the odd are quite good that you did not.
Good Luck

Jesus, you weren’t kidding. It was like a festival of zebras. Oh well, I think I did well enough. I actually think I did better than I had any right to.

Perhaps my colleage choosybeggar may disagree, but success in medical school is about 10% providing quality patient care, 10% showing up, 30% learning the material, and 50% kissing the right asses.

I think I’m going to be a great doctor. I’ve been a horrible medical student.

Doctor J! (Well, I don’t think I’m quite at the bottom. Wouldn’t bother me if I were, though.)

Dr. J

[joke] Somewhere out there exists the worst doctor in the world.

And someone has an appointment with him tomorrow. :slight_smile: [/joke]

Good luck on your exams!


My mom just kissed my owies, you all learn some interesting healing techniques.:slight_smile:

Oh and good luck on the test manana.

*Originally posted by DoctorJ *

I think this is close to being right on. Somewhere in there, however, I’d include “creating enormous patient workups that bear no resemblance to anything seen in the real world”.

Or perhaps that can be filed under “kissing the right asses”.
I’m sure you passed the Peds final. And if not, repeating the Peds rotation can be very rewarding.

Just kidding!

By the way, my favorite all-time dumb question on a clinical rotation final was in Surgery, when we were asked “Where was the first blood bank located?”
My mind went blank, and I wrote down the only place I could think of, which was Red Bank, New Jersey.