My former boss, with whom I got along famously, got “promoted” (in quotations because they just gave him a bunch of new responsibilities without a pay increase or anything like that.) But now I don’t report to him.
The guy I do report to - well, he’s a good guy, and personally we get along well. But he was my boss’s boss before the “promotion” and he seems not to want to spend much time “managing” me or any of my colleagues. So we’ve been a bit adrift.
On top of that, the business is not going well. Huge spikes in raw material costs have meant we haven’t been making money in a few months. And there’s just too much capacity and too many competitors among us for any of us to make money.
Two of my colleagues have flat quit in frustration and disgust at the way the company is being run. One of them had a new job lined up; the other is about my age without about the same experience as me. She just plain quit, saying “There’s too much work and I get no recognition for it. F*&% them, I’m out.”
So work is difficult. The way I’m subconsciously dealing with it? Clenching my teeth and gnawing nervously on my clothing. This is a weird tic, I know, and I don’t do it in public or around other people, but alone, when I’m stressed - I’ll bite down on my sleeve or collar. And gnaw. And chew. I’m not trying to eat the fabric, I’m just compelled to bite down on something with a bit of give. Maybe I’m part dog. It’s hard on my sleeves and undershirts, but it’s murder on my teeth. They’ve been sore for the last month, I’m just waiting for one to break, and I can’t stop.
Seriously, fark this job. I’ll need dentures by the time I’m 40.
You need to find a non self-harming way to relieve stress ASAP. Don’t wreck your teeth. They are one of the most important things in your body. And once the major dental work starts, it never stops. Don’t do this to yourself.
Exercise burns off stress. So does a hobby that takes your mind off work. Sure, easier said than done, but I do it and you can too.
You can buy some disposable mouth guards at a drug store and wear them while you retrain your stress release process.
I sympathize. You don’t just need to worry about your teeth, though. You need to worry about your jaw, as well. I have had some awful TMJ episodes as a result of stress-induced bruxism (the technical term for grinding one’s teeth), to the point of having to hold a heating pad or ice pack on my face while on the phone at work.
The only thing I’ve found to work reliably at reducing the bruxism itself is to reduce the stress. Which, because I can’t quit this job (can’t find anything that pays equivalently since I got this job pre-recession, and I can’t up and quit), is guided meditation/relaxation. There’s a wealth of this kind of material on youtube and google. If you can load up an ipod with some meditation audios and listen to them on your breaks, it will help. Regular exercise is not a bad idea (and doing it in conjunction with regular meditation would be awesome), but I don’t find exercise to be relaxing “in the moment.” Only afterward. When I need stress relief right fucking now, I queue up a recording and feel better in 10-15 minutes.
A mouthguard would help protect your teeth from the grinding, but it’s not going to protect your jaw muscles from being engaged all day long. When you’re constantly overstressed, clenching becomes your default. You may even start doing it involuntarily while sleeping. Learning how to meditate (which doesn’t have to be spiritual, I’m an atheist and it works for me) could hopefully reduce your baseline stress levels, too. I’ve been meditating on a regular basis for about a year now, and I haven’t had a single TMJ episode in months. And I’m finding that there are more and better resources out there every day. When I notice stress starting to creep up, I notice immediately now. And I can voluntarily stop the facial clenching–the hardest part is just learning to pay attention to it in the first place.
This may or may not be useful for you, but the most helpful thing I did to stop my teeth clenching (which I’ve been doing my whole life) was to take singing lessons. It turns out that it’s really, really important to have a relaxed jaw while singing, and my teacher had all sorts of exercises to help with that. Now when I’m working I’ll frequently shake my jaw or try to loosen it up. It hasn’t solved the problem entirely (I can still feel it’s a lot tighter than a normal person’s jaw would be) but at least I don’t clench my teeth anymore.
I still clench/grind my teeth while sleeping, so I have a nightguard to help with that.
The hardest part for me is noticing if it’s even happening. My dentist swears it is, but every time I try to catch myself doing it, I immediately unclench, and then wonder if I really was clenching just a moment before. So far I haven’t caught myself. I don’t think.
I think what I really need to do is get back into meditation.
I’ve done meditation before - just a basic type, not religious. Breathing exercises, basic mental focus. After a few weeks doing it, It starts to really feel good. Then real life intrudes, and because life is so busy, I forget and drop it.
But man, I need it now. I think I’ll start it up again.
I don’t buy into the spirituality aspects myself. But it’s nice to take some time to do nothing when so much of life revolves around doing something, anything.
