I suspect I must be getting this title. If not, then I must have a honourable mention. I was drilling for my upcoming mathematic tests, and my eyes must be crossed or something. I get simple addition wrong, copy the wrong numbers when doing matrices, changing negative numbers to become positive numbers – in short, not even getting a single answer correct. All due to simple, careless mistakes.
No, I wasn’t rushing. I double-checked, even triple-checked my work. Somehow, I would just write ‘j’ when I have to do ‘k’ and punch the wrong keys on the calculator.
Sounds like you’re just having an episode. Now, do you regularly trip over your own feet, bite your own tongue/cheek/lip, bump into desks/walls/furniture, find bruises on yourself you can’t even remember getting? Does your own mother repeatedly call you clumsy? No?
Well, then, my friend, you cannot take the title from me yet.
I crash into the rear end of tables all the time, knock magazines and newspapers from the table’s edges and is generally accused of “You don’t look at where you are going.”
Where do I order mine? Having to admit I broke my foot (snapped 5th metatarsal off at the ankle) while walking on a perfectly level floor qualifies me for admission, I believe.
Snakes, I once sprained my wrist putting on pantyhose. You’re my new best friend.
My mother used to call me “Princess Grace.” She’s a bundle of laughs, my mom is.
Today, I went to scratch my cheek because it itched (duh), and ended up giving myself a papercut on the eyebrow because I neglected to make sure my hand was empty.
Ha! I’ve got you all beat.
One of my very first ever formal dates was at a fancy hotel in Hong Kong.
After being dined ( I was too young to be wined) I sauntered down the main staircase to the lobby.
On the second step, I stepped on my hem and went down the rest of the stairs on my bum.
My date had given me a dozen roses before dinner and with each butt bump,another flower went sailing over my shoulders.
Or how about the time, as an adult, I pushed my chair back at the local Japanese restaurant to dab sauce off my new skirt.
Chair flipped over backwards, I ended up ass over tea kettle on the floor with my feet pointing towards the ceiling.
Thank Og I was wearing underwear.
Didn’t help when the table of drunken diners next to us broke into a round of applause.
Or the time I didn’t notice that my roommates had taken the grill out of the floor to clean it and I fell through.
Or the lunch date when I sat down and immediately knockled over four ice tea glasses with one shot.
It’s amazing anyone will be seen in public with me.
And I’ll take the jacket in a medium please.
Ha! I’ve got you all beat.
One of my very first ever formal dates was at a fancy hotel in Hong Kong.
After being dined ( I was too young to be wined) I sauntered down the main staircase to the lobby.
On the second step, I stepped on my hem and went down the rest of the stairs on my bum.
My date had given me a dozen roses before dinner and with each butt bump,another flower went sailing over my shoulders.
Or how about the time, as an adult, I pushed my chair back at the local Japanese restaurant to dab sauce off my new skirt.
Chair flipped over backwards, I ended up ass over tea kettle on the floor with my feet pointing towards the ceiling.
Thank Og I was wearing underwear.
Didn’t help when the table of drunken diners next to us broke into a round of applause.
Or the time I didn’t notice that my roommates had taken the grill out of the floor to clean it and I fell through.
Or the lunch date when I sat down and immediately knocked over four ice tea glasses with one shot.
It’s amazing anyone will be seen in public with me.
And I’ll take the jacket in a medium please.
