DSK is returning home after his release from prison. Imagine a short conversation between him and his wife.
Show your wit. No pitting please.
(DSK = Dominique Strauss-Kahn arrested for alleged sexual violence; his case has been dismissed)
DSK: Hi honey, I’m home!
DSK: Honey?
::crickets::
He’s been in house arrest since the first week, hasn’t he? His wife has been with him most of the time.
Wife: What’s your excuse for being late this time?
DSK: I was out partying with the Duke Lacrosse team.
[Evening at the DSK household]
Wife: Honey, Genvieve’s been asking a lot of difficult questions about ‘you know what’ lately. I guess she’s at that age now where she’s naturally curious about making up rooms.
DSK: My little angel? C’est pas possible! Mon Dieu…they grow up so fast. Well, I suppose it’s best if she learns it from us, rather than hears about it in the schoolyard. And if she’s going to experiment with making up rooms, I want her to be properly informed at least. I’ll have a talk with her tomorrow.
Wife: Thank you honey. You’re such a wonderful father.
DSK: And you’re the best wife a man could hope for. Say, how about we go upstairs and I turn down your sheets?
Wife: Oh darling, I’d love to but it’s that time of the month. I can still give you room service though, if you’d like?
DSK: Oh that’s so hot. And I don’t care if it’s that time. I’m going to give you fresh towels anyway.
Wife: [giggles]
Wife: What’s new?
DSK: Oh, same old same old.
[The next day at the DSK household]
DSK: Genevieve, can you come here for a moment dear?
Genevieve: Surely, papa, what is it?
DSK: Your mother mentioned that you had some questions about, ahh, well, about making up rooms. And I’d like to help answer any questions you might have. It’s really quite natural and nothing to be ashamed about.
Genevieve: Um, I’m sorry questions about…what?
DSK: Making up rooms. Straightening rooms. It’s when a man puts his thing inside…
Genevieve: Oh, you mean ‘fucking’?
DSK: Well, is that what the young people are calling it these days? Heavens. Anyway, I just thought I could help you better understand this very natural, very ordinary human function. It’s natural to be curious too, but I want you to appreciate that it’s something for adults, and even then only between couples who love each other very much. You can’t just go around changing the sheets, cleaning the bathrooms and giving room service to every young man you meet. You’ll get a reputation as a houskeeper that way - those dirty sluts are quite literally just asking for it I tell you!
She was in her hotel room waiting for him with the roller pin ready.
What, first it was the maid, now it’s the pastry maker.
Qu’est ce que c’est violeur?
DSK returning to the hotel room:
Bonjour chérie… er… hmm… well… you know…
She: It’s ok. I’ve got something to tell you. I’ve had three lovers in the last two years.