Squiz: verb
To take a cursory look at something or someone in order to determine their intrinsic worth.
I’m guessing this is an Australian thing?
You come across as very angry at hoarding. As someone who battles with a mental illness themselves, do you not have any sympathy at all?
ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) can be lifesaving for patients with severe intractable depression not responsive to other interventions.
We have a poster who has survived being cut in half? :eek:
British too.
I also agree that hoarding is a mental illness. My mom was a food hoarder. She still kind of is, but she also developed liver disease due to alcoholism, which has caused a lot of changes in her lifestyle. Learning she needs a transplant has been both a terrifying, horrible experience for her, but somewhat of a wakeup call. She’s started throwing things out without me and my sister having to do it for her. Truthfully I think she’s preparing in case something happens and she passes away. I’ll occasionally receive boxes of clothes for me to pick through or give away for her. I think it’s easier if she doesn’t have to get rid of it herself.
The guy down the street, well that’s another story. I felt terrible for him. I usually only get the chance to walk at night and as I’d go by, I’d see stuff stacked up to the rafters, so much so that there was no way he could’ve gotten to the windows. He died over two months ago, and his family is STILL cleaning his house out. They started just a week after he passed away.
They filled three jumbo-sized dumpsters, had a garage sale and are still pulling bags and bags of trash out. They’ve torn down part of the front yard and landscaped and had to tear out most of the drywall in several of the front rooms in an effort to get it ready to put on the market. Goodness only knows how much more work they have yet to do in there.
My mom’s problem wasn’t as bad as that, but I could definitely see it ruining relationships.
That said, what the heck was a bottle of chocolate milk doing in your car for a week? Did you forget about it while grocery shopping?
She never posted much, but yeah. She underwent a hemicorporectomy because she was in a wheelchair and had pressure sores that went septic, and it was the only way to save her life.
I’m not even comfortable with the packrat mentality. My SO has a bit of it. If I lived on my own, I’d easily fit in one of those ultra spare modern houses…i throw everything away, ruthlessly. I’m whatever the opposite of a packrat is, and whenever I feel a little lazy I put on an episode of Hoarders and suddenly I am cleaning the house.
I agree. You shouldn’t. If watching a show that tries to make entertainment out of other people’s misery makes you unhappy, stop watching it.
radical simplicity is a thing.
I was kind of wondering that myself.
I can kind of relate to how some hoarders think in the sense that the “hoard” represents a kind of stability. Throwing stuff out freaks out the hoarder out because it’s disrupting her twisted sense of “harmony” in her surroundings.
I’m not really a hoarder, but it can be hard for me to let go of things sometimes. Right now I’m in the midst of a battle with my wife over an old desk she wants me to get rid of. She’s suggested we go out and pick a better, newer desk, which sounds reasonable, but my old desk is the only piece of furniture I’ve had in five moves in five years, and represents a kind of stability I’m not ready to abandon.
The show is surprisingly respectful and gentle. As far as I can see, they really do try to help the people, bringing in experts and family members to try to at least get rid of the stuff. Sometimes a family member will enter the house that hasn’t in years. And it isn’t like a funny ha-ha show…it is clear that these people have a problem.
Hoarding is a problem that is easily hidden. Hoarders go to work just like you and I, clean and neat, and you’d never know how much stuff they have to climb over just to get to their bedroom.
I don’t like the mentality and would never live with a hoarder but in my mind it’s more like a “thank goodness that’s not me” feeling. I’m grateful not to have the need for stuff, and I’m also grateful I bring my stability with me. I’ve moved a lot in my life, and have gone from being used to moving to enjoying being in new places. I’m very grateful this is how I am wired to be.
The show often depicts that hoarders became this way afer a major upset in their lives…laid off, or a love left them, or something like that. I can believe that sometimes if you have a major tragedy not everyone recovers in the same way.
I just watched an interesting episode of hoarders where the garbage was apparently a by-product of numbness. Once the counselors started up and they brought in the cleanup crew, the whole family was in there tossing shovelfuls of crap into the dumpster. None of this “here’s a blanket and let’s go through each piece and spend 10 minutes agonizing over it”. It was a surprisingly refreshing change of pace, although still squicky with a fucked up love triangle going on.
Hoarders makes me alternate between sad and angry. Sad for the people that somehow something has failed and they weren’t able to get help for an issue before it became too big to handle and angry at the people who enable the hoarding.
My favorite episode though, was the one with the guy who had 20 rusted out junkers on his property that were there for his grandchildren’s college funds. Ok, dude, did you find your financial planner in a box of cracker jacks?
It is almost as though some of them want to clean it up but get overwhelmed. They never internalize the feeling of “clean up for 20 minutes a day, even if it doesn’t LOOK like I’ve changed it, I have.” Since they can’t pitch it all in one go, it is too much for them.
I feel sad for them and I feel horrified at them. Particularly the ones that are hoarding food or bodily excretions.
For more insight into the mental disorder(s) called “hoarding” I recommend Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things written by two doctors who have made careers out of treating hoarders.
Like other mental disorders, simply screaming “GET OVER IT!” is entirely ineffective. Different hoarders hoard for different reasons, have different issues, and different causes.
Some time ago I recognized hoarding tendencies in myself but I didn’t just want to throw everything in my home out, I wanted to deal with the reasons WHY I hung onto things. Just throwing everything out would only be a temporary fix if I didn’t stop the habits and actions that resulted in a mess in the first place. I’m happy to say I’m making progress, although still far from perfect.
See, that’s a big problem with just cleaning out the hoarder’s house. You may have to do it for health or safety reasons but if you don’t deal with the underlying problem you’re only treating the symptoms and they’ll just fill the house back up again.
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My black kitty passed away and I think I’m just about there to get another one. If a stray came my way that I knew wasn’t someone elses, one who chose Me…?
I’d shake the treat bag, invite her in, show her the litter boxes & lightly brush her til she purred. I don’t know if she’d stay or not, but she’d have fun while she did.
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Yes, we have a small hoarding problem, exacerbated by draconian step-to-the-left garbage policies of our town. Its like, “We take those only on the second week of months that have an “i” in them. And only if you call the town the Monday prior so we don’t forget.”
But yeah, that growng up my parents regularly threw out my toys whenever I played outside “so the house looked clean” probably didn’t help.
“Where did my toys go?”
“Oh, I dunno…”
And then I’d realize that it was Saturday. And the cans would be empty. And no one would know anything. :dubious: