Impeccable sources say - war with North Korea "probably only hours away"

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

According to this breaking news Kim Jong-un has ordered the country’s military forces to prepare to strike the US and hostilities and will soon begin.

We know because

So far only one thing stops me taking this story at face value

2

Well, I’m convinced. I’m packing my bags and heading to Chernobyl forthwith.

3

Once again I’m reminded how the UK - a country a love and admire in so many ways - has the worst print media of any free country. The newspapers there truly are awful. Pretty much all of them, really.

Here is the original article:

4

I was thinking last night - all this bluster and posturing is most likely for the benefit of the NK populace. Lil Kim will stamp his little feet and wave his little fists, then declare that the rest of the world, especially the US, backed down in the face of the overwhelming might of the North Korean forces. Then Kim will demand we send food or he’ll keep building nukes.

But if he does launch an attack, our response needs to finish it. We don’t need to waste another 60 years piddle-farting around over there.

5

Actually, Kim III could probably declare that he had already attacked the American imperialistic forces, driven them off the peninsula, resulting in a resounding victory–and have missile parades touting it within hours.

6

Well I’m sure he has his dad’s photoshopers name.

7

What the hell, you’re not trusting e-mails from unknown sources?

Sheeple!

8

If a tour guide disagrees with the Secretary of Defense, I’ll go with the tour guide every time.

9

I think we all need to get our news from more peccable sources.

10

Well, it’s time to send Dennis Rodman back to North Korea to try to talk them out of it.

11

For safety’s sake I have spent the last 24 hours in my bunker awaiting the end of the war. I notice that it is not a trending topic anywhere so I guess that means it has already been fought.

So who won?

12

You don’t get the bone-dry sarcasm, do you?

13

The defect is with the British press, not me.

14

Wichita State, 70-66

15

Thank God for that. Imagine if the war was decided by a lousy point after. Oh, which side represented North Korea?