Impossible movies you'd like to see.

[Grumman]

@Scupper

A Hammer’s Slammers adaptation of some sort, preferably based on Rolling Hot.

I’ll second this. Hover-tanks have always held a special place in my heart.

[gonzoron]

I’d love to see a whole series of movies based on Wild Cards, but I fear it would be dismissed as a ripoff of Watchmen. (Which, I suppose it might have been in the first place, since the first book came out in '87 and Watchmen was released in '86-'87. Still, it Wild Cards stands on its own, IMHO.)

[WarmNPrickly]

I’d like to see a movie about a European bed and breakfast that ran out of rooms, but decided that both Salma Hayek and Olivia Wilde could stay in the same room. Then dressed in tight leather and carrying a small whip, Summer Glau comes in to demand the giggling girls be quiet. Also, there’s something about spankings. In fact, every guest at the female bed and breakfast must have a spanking, because wicked, bad evil, Zoot deserves one. And after the spanking, the oral sex!

[SuntanTigerTamer]

@WarmNPrickly

I’d like to see a movie about a European bed and breakfast that ran out of rooms, but decided that both Salma Hayek and Olivia Wilde could stay in the same room. Then dressed in tight leather and carrying a small whip, Summer Glau comes in to demand the giggling girls be quiet. Also, there’s something about spankings. In fact, every guest at the female bed and breakfast must have a spanking, because wicked, bad evil, Zoot deserves one. And after the spanking, the oral sex!

I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[ExTank]

@Scupper

A Hammer’s Slammers adaptation of some sort, preferably based on Rolling Hot.

:eek:

Damn. I’m aroused.

[SuntanTigerTamer]

I want to see The Dark Tower series made, page for page from the books, with bits from Black House, It, Salems Lot, Everything’s Eventual, and Insomnia thrown in for taste. I want someone to direct it who cared as much for the material as Jackson cared for LOTR. I want each movie to be one book, with one movie coming out per year. And every Christmas, the DVD from the last-to-be-released DT movie would come out, complete with all kinds of extra goodies and featurettes.

I would also love for the makers of Lost to release the series finale in theaters. What if, when we think we are watching the series finale, it were to end with a huge cliffhanger, and the “Next Time On Lost” guy says “Coming to theaters in two weeks, the three hour Lost series finale”! If they were able to keep it a secret, it would be the best possible gift to their legions of loyal fans.

[Bender44]

Infinite Jest, in mini-series form.

Though I think any adaptation of it to screen form might kinda miss the point entirely.

Second on Snow Crash and add Neuromancer too it. Shame some hack brothers had to rip them both off for their stupid trilogy…

[ZipperJJ]

@calmeacham

this one is impossible – i’d like to see jeremy brett do the rest of the sherlock holmes stories and novels (they can do a study in scarlet and the valley of fear, and i won’t complain if they leave out the non-holmes half of each book). And redo the ones that didn’t turn out so well (there’s no need to turn the adventure of the sussex vampire into a snoozer.) . Then he can go on and do some of the copies and pastiches.

yes!

@fiddlesticks

think bigger johnny q: A 12 hour baroque cycle movie!

yes! Yes!!!

[jackdavinci]

@SuntanTigerTamer

I would also love for the makers of Lost to release the series finale in theaters. What if, when we think we are watching the series finale, it were to end with a huge cliffhanger, and the “Next Time On Lost” guy says “Coming to theaters in two weeks, the three hour Lost series finale”! If they were able to keep it a secret, it would be the best possible gift to their legions of loyal fans.

The producers have publicly stated that they feel the opposite - that they would feel like they were betraying the fans to leave the show on a cliffhanger and make them pay money to see the finale of something they’ve been watching for free.

It would be nice though, if they got a feature film sized budget for the finale and went all out…

[Equipoise]

Not impossible:

The Devil In The White City - we have the technology to re-create the White City (have WETA do the miniatures and bigatures) so WHY THE HELL isn’t this movie opening in my local theater, like, next week??

Impossible:

A Discovery/National Geographic series that goes back in time and focuses on the Seven Wonders of the World: Ancient, then Medieval, then leading up to the Modern.