In-Flight Mobile-Phone Access: A Terrible Idea Whose Time, Unfortunately, Has Come

The BBQ Pit
21

Ugly? Actually, from where I stand it’s going to be pretty damn funny. You see, by the end of the decade, all your friends, all your co-workers, everyone you know, everyone you see on the street, everyone with enough money to afford a second pair of shoes… they’re all going to have cellphones, and they’re all going to talk on them all the time. This is the future, and you’ll either have to get used to it, or you’ll have to find a nice secluded cabin somewhere in Montana. You hear that cellphone ring? It’s the sound of… inevitablilty.

The cellphone-free world we all grew up in is dead and buried. Barring a complete collapse of human civilization, it’s never coming back.

22

I’M ON A PLANE!!! IT’S RUBBISH!!!

23

Don’t give me ideas.

24

I have had it with these motherfucking phones on this motherfucking plane!

25

I really don’t understand this sentiment. What’s the big deal? Even if they do speak louder than a normal speaking voice… so what? Unless I’m trying to watch a movie and the speaker is speaking over the dialogue, people on cell phones are just so much background noise.

26

I wish, I wish, I wish I could be as oblivious as you., To me, hearing, “HI, I’M ON THE TRAIN–NUTHIN’ MUCH, WHAT’S UP WITH YOU?” right behind me, boring into my skull, skyrockets my blood pressure and takes years off my life. Thank goodness I’ll be dead before that inevitable day when everyone has a cell phone implanted permanently in their head at birth.

27

Pass me the hemlock, Eve, this acceptance of disruptive and distracting sensory inputs perfusing every cubic centimeter of space and every second of time, as mere “background noise”, is disheartening. Come on, even Manhattan has a Central Park so one can briefly step aside from the onslaught – but what really, truly terrifies me is that once that “inevitable” everyone-on-the-cell-phone-all-the-time-everywhere universe is established, then will develop a social expectation that all MUST be available to be reached by cell phone anywhere, anytime, with no right to “quiet time”.

Let’s home the technology leapfrogs right to the point where there can be an implanted neural link Bluetooth device so the people don’t have to be speaking out loud when on the phone. Who’s working on that? I’ll sell my house to finance their research!

28

Hi, Rick? Hey, what’s up?

Hello?

Rick, it’s Bob.

BOB.

Hello?

Yeah, I’m on the train.

The train.

THE TRAIN.

Hello?

What are you doing tonight?

Oh. I got on the wrong train.

I GOT ON THE WRONG TRAIN.

Can you pick me up?

Hello?

CAN YOU PICK ME UP?

Hello? HELLO? HELLO?

FUCK!

Hi, Sue? Hey, what’s up?

Hello?

Sue, it’s Bob.

BOB.

Hello?

Yeah, I’m on the train.

The train.

THE TRAIN.

Hello?

What are you doing tonight?

Oh. I got on the wrong train.

I GOT ON THE WRONG TRAIN.

Can you pick me up?

Hello?

CAN YOU PICK ME UP?

Hello? HELLO? HELLO?

FUCK!

Hi, Steve? Hey, what’s up?

Hello?

Steve, it’s Bob.

BOB.

Hello?

Yeah, I’m on the train.

The train.

THE TRAIN.

Hello?

What are you doing tonight?

Oh. I got on the wrong train.

I GOT ON THE WRONG TRAIN.

Can you pick me up?

Hello?

CAN YOU PICK ME UP?

Hello? HELLO? HELLO?

FUCK!

Hi, Ashleighee?? Hey, what’s up?

Hello?

Ashleighee, it’s Bob.

BOB.

Hello?

Yeah, I’m on the train.

The train.

THE TRAIN.

Hello?

What are you doing tonight?

Oh. I got on the wrong train.

I GOT ON THE WRONG TRAIN.

Can you pick me up?

Hello?

CAN YOU PICK ME UP?

Hello? HELLO? HELLO?

FUCK!

Hi, Andy? Hey, what’s up?

Hello?

Andy, it’s Bob.

BOB.

Hello?

Yeah, I’m on the train.

The train.

THE TRAIN.

Hello?

What are you doing tonight?

Oh. I got on the wrong train.

I GOT ON THE WRONG TRAIN.

Can you pick me up?

Hello?

CAN YOU PICK ME UP?

Hello? HELLO? HELLO?

FUCK!

Hi, Kaitlyyn? Hey, what’s up?

Hello?

Kaitlyyn, it’s Bob.

BOB.

Hello?

Yeah, I’m on the train.

The train.

THE TRAIN.

Hello?

What are you doing tonight?

Oh. I got on the wrong train.

I GOT ON THE WRONG TRAIN.

Can you pick me up?

Hello?

CAN YOU PICK ME UP?

Hello? HELLO? HELLO?

FUCK!
For a fucking hour.

29

:stuck_out_tongue:

30

And the funny thing about that loud and one-sided conversation was that I was trying to get a little nap time on the train. Guess how that panned out.

On the question of whether cell phone conversations are louder than normal: Yes, I find them that way. Not always, of course. Some people are considerate.

Take the case of when I was on vacation last month. I was sitting outside the motel, on the patio, around 11pm. Two men were sitting at the table next to me. One guy was talking on a cell phone, and was so quiet that I could barely hear him. The other was shouting loud enough to wake the dead “Hey! Tell him he’s a stupid bastard! Ha ha ha ha! Tell him he’s a faggot! Ha ha ha ha ha! Hey stupid faggot, why are you a stupid faggot? Ha ha ha ha ha!”

This is the same genius that moments earlier took a bottle of wine out of a paper bag and simply let the bag fall to the patio, where he left it.

So I guess cell phones don’t turn people in to rude assholes. They just give rude assholes another forum in which to be rude assholes.

31

Sorry, it’s never bothered me when someone else is talking on their cell phone. I don’t find it disruptive or distracting. I either pay no attention to it at all, or listen to one end of the conversation if it happens to be amusing enough

While I do carry 2 cell phones (one mine, one for work) with me pretty much all the time, I try to only speak on them when I’m not around other people… due to the people it irritates.

32

Yeah, I do, too. At least I think I do. But given how loud most people seem to talk on their cell phones, maybe they don’t realize they’re doing it. And then there’s the loud ringing (warning: funny video with sound). I enjoy sitting quietly on an airplane and reading. I don’t mind quiet conversations around me. But it’s much worse with cell phones. Not only do people talk a lot louder, but there are more conversations. If three people are sitting together and talking amongst themselves, there’s generally only one talking at a time. If three people are on cell phones, they could well all be talking at once.

I heard the ultimate about a month ago. A teenaged girl was on the sidewalk in front of my bookstore. I heard this:

“Hello? Are you still there? Hello?” And then she turned around, looked at a girl about a half-block away, and yelled “You hung up on me, damn it!”

Unbelievable.

33

So true. I have a cell phone. So does my Wife. The ONLY time I turn mine on is if I think my Wife may need me and I’m not home. Say if shes on a long training ride or run. I think my Wife is the only one with my number anyway. We really only use them for emergencies. I hate talking on them, it’s like a two way radio.

My Wife has a friend that told her to call her Cell if her land line is busy. Sort of a glorified call waiting which I hate anyway. This same friend will take and make phone calls when out hiking in the woods.

And then theres the folks that will call on their Cell just to chat. Especially when they are bored. My SIL does this. Usually when she is driving and getting absolutely horrible reception, so every other work out of my mouth is ‘what, I can’t hear you’. Drives me nuts.

34

I need to emphasize, as I do in all cell-phone threads:

  1. I do not mind people who talk in a normal tone of voice.

  2. I do not mind people who quickly call to say “pick me up at 6:00” and then hang up.

  3. I do mind people who shriek into their phones, no matter what they’re talking about or how long it goes on.

  4. I also mind people who shriek at one another in person on public transportation.

At least on a train, I can get up and move to another car; more difficult on a plane . . .

35

I suspect that the use of portable cell phone jammers will take off, regardless of the fact that they are illegal in the US.

36

CUNCTATOR –

:: Snert :: :stuck_out_tongue:

I actually have more sympathy for the trader or the lawyer (or the doctor, plumber, Indian chief) who is trying to conduct business than I do for the "Hi, watcha doin’? Me? Nothin’ I’m just [waiting to cross the street/ eating lunch/ buying a coffee/ taking a pee] and I thought I’d call you because, y’know, I can’t entertain myself with the thoughts in my own head for one fucking minute . . . . " IMO, cell phones are an annoyance to other people, even if just a minor one, and should not be used just to waste time in public, any more than you should do anything else in public that annoys people, just to keep yourself entertained.

Planes are exponentially worse because you cannot get away from them. That’s what makes people homicial about it. It’s one thing to inflict your own life on others when they are just passing by or can walk away; it’s quite another to do so when they are literally trapped next to you.

If they start letting people use cell phones on a plane I’m on, and someone around me does so, I intend to demonstrate avid interest in their conversation (taking notes is a great idea) until they find me intrusive; at least that way we’ll both be uncomfortable.

37

I happen to love eavesdropping on people’s conversations, so I’m thrilled.

38

People have been known to try to sleep on a plane.

Maybe they could get a Cone of Silence to drop down or something.