Post-election terrors! I hadn’t thought of this because I was too busy dismissing the right-wing noise about Obama coming for our guns and right to self-govern. Damn those morons, with their blathering—they distracted us from the real target in the sights of our twice-elected dictator: our internal combustion engines!
Think about it, my fellow automotive enthusiasts & commuters! For four years BO has struggled to undo W’s attempts at restoring order and stability to the OPEC region; to undermine Israel as the sole unifying entity of the Arab world; and to develop non-fossil fuel energy sources and clean commuter technology including electric cars and gasoline variants with emissions restrictions attainable only in science fiction! Emboldened by the gift of a second and final term, we will now see the fruition of his grand plan, couched in clean & green rhetoric, to relieve us of our beloved hooptys, our ricers, and even ulp NASCAR! If only the conservatives had been more reasonable and stilled the cacophony of maniacal cries for a birth certificate and other nonsense, I and others of sight might have groked this wicked man’s true scheme in time to stop him.
Petroleum can still have their niche uses, such as in racing or car enthusiasts, but if you still want clean emissions with a kick, let’s get to work on nuclear powered Challengers.
Meh. I don’t give a shit if it runs on duck farts, but I’m never going to be happy untill I can buy a decent family sedan for a reasonable price (let’s say 20K) that does 0-60 in under 5 and tops out above 150.
I wonder if I can get him to subsidize my conversion project? A few grand to help convert a classic car to run on electricity wouldn’t set his diabolical schemes back much, I’m sure, and it would certainly make things easier for me. (My calculations show, by the way, that my car will have significantly more muscle post-conversion. Maybe I shouldn’t tell him that part?)
Yeah, the thing a lot of car enthusiasts fail to realize is that the more our day-to-day transportation needs can be shifted to alternative fuels, the more petroleum there is left for us. All that oil out there should be going into my various old project cars, not some boring driving appliance.