In the spirit of "Bored of the Rings"...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

[A young couple ™ is lying in bed, liplocked and gradually undressing each other.]

Man: I love you.
Woman: Oh, take me! TAKE ME!!!

[A whinny from off-screen. The couple jumps in startlement and looks around self-consciously.]

Man: What was that?
Woman: I don’t know!

[Fanfare. A horse clops in, bearing an old man in white robes, carrying a staff.]

Chorus: SAR-U-MAAAAAN!
Man on Horse: Greetings, young lovers.

Man: Who are you?
Woman: And what are you doing here? How’d you get your hair like that, too?

Man on Horse: I’m-

[Gestures off-screen.]

Chorus: SAR-U-MAAAAAN!
Man on Horse: And I’m here to tell you about the protection I offer.

Man: But we don’t need protection!
Woman: We’re married!

Man on Horse: Are you sure?

Woman: Well…
Man: I guess not.

Man on Horse: Well, then. Introducing new Saru-Man brand prophylactics. They come in all sizes and offer a range of protections–not just shielding you from venereal disease and pregnancy, but also bestowing upon you trans-dimensional invisibility and unnatural long life!

Man: Wow, do they really do that?

Man on Horse: Certainly.

Woman: Honey, I’ve always wanted unnatural long life!

Man on Horse: Then here, dear lady, take this as a gift.

[Tosses her a box. She opens the box.]

Woman: So pretty.
Man: How precious.

Man on Horse: My work here is done.

[Rides off.]

Chorus: SAR-U-MAAAAAN!

[Fin.]

2

I’ve never laughed so hard in my life!

How precious, indeed.

3

Hehhehheh, I almost snarfed Merlot all over the place. :slight_smile:

Nicely done. :slight_smile:

–IDB

4

Hilarious! But I have to admit, having that old coot in my bedroom would be creepy, even if he did give me a precious!

5

And that would be what kind of beer?

This is a whole new spin on the “If someone else wrote LotR…” thread.

6

Here’s one for you: Peter Jackson included the MTV spoof of the Council of Elrond on the “Fellowship” extended version in the box set! If you haven’t seen it, I would recommend NOT drinking anything during the scene!

Put in the first disk, go to where you select individual scenes, put the cursor over scene 27, and click down ONCE. A little gold ring appears on the bottom of the screen. Hit select.

Jack Black and Sarah Michelle Gellar are HILARIOUS!

O

7

Ran out of beer, had a huge bottle of Merlot that I’d bought for a gal I’d been dating for a short period of time. We broke up, I figured there was no sense in wasting perfectly good alcohol, so I drank the whole damned thing last night. First wine I’ve had in years…urgh. Nasty hangover.

Ok, I’d never seen that before, but you’re right. That was absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the Easter Egg. :slight_smile:

–IDB

8

You’re quite welcome. I thought it was fitting for this thread…

O