I do think things have improved. There is a lot of social discourse about mental health especially in younger populations. There are support spaces online, etc. The flip side of that is that therapy language has broadened and often appears in the public discourse either pathologizing everything or divorced from its original meaning.
I think as a culture we often pay a lot of lip service to mental health inclusivity but a lot of people don’t want to deal with people suffering acutely. It’s like people with cancer who have friends distance themselves because of their discomfort with illness and death. Well, as the OP notes, mental illness can be really unpleasant to be around. When I was at my worst I experienced a lot of rejection. It was painful, but now that I’m mentally healthy, I have distanced myself from some people with severe mental illness as a sort of self-preservation tactic. My motive is a bit different, it’s more like I don’t want to be dragged back down to where I used to be.
Trauma has become the buzzword of choice in the public discourse, but a lot of people don’t want to confront what that really means. I wrote a book about two characters with PTSD. Readers were fine with the guy being fucked up, but they were not fine with the girl being fucked up. I had to work extremely hard to get readers to connect with her, and honestly I took it a little personally. I was writing based on my experience having PTSD for over 20 years. It’s not all cinematic flashbacks and cathartic moments of healing. Sometimes it’s dysfunctional, defensive behavior, unhealthy attachments, strained relationships, isolation, paranoia.
The question of to what extent people ought to be understanding and how much grace we ought to give the mentally ill is a good one. For me the calculus is often “How hard are you working on this?” Because I worked my ass off for decades to not make my issues others people’s problem.
My Mom waited until I was an adult before she would even consider therapy. After her diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder she spent about a year in therapy for a mental illness that is generally life-long, declared herself transformed, and carried on being abusive and narcissistic.
By contrast, I started therapy when I was 19 and I’m still in therapy. At one point, when my son was first diagnosed with autism, I had two therapists at the same time, one solely for working through issues needed to be an effective parent. Now I’m just down to the parenting one.
So effort matters to me.