The mental illness closet.

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m not sure which forum this should go in, but since I always stay away from the more “serious” ones, here it is. I’m soliciting thoughts, stories, and opinions, which makes it IMHO territory, but it’s also a bit of a rant.

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder. I’ve had it since childhood, along with a recurring case of Major Depression. (Oh, what fun.) Now, I became a social worker expecting people in my profession to be progressive and totally understanding of someone who has a properly medicated brain disorder (or mental illness if you will), and is a fully functioning adult. Not so. Even with what I thought was a relatively mild and well-understood problem, every time I tell people at work about it, it’s a huge disaster. Inevitably, management begins looking at me askance once they get wind of it. They are suspicious of any hint of instability (like a bad mood) and quick to scrutinize performance, etc.

(Call me stupid, but I really naively thought that there would be fairly widespread acceptance of a coworker with a well-medicated brain disorder in this day and age.)

Now, at my new job, I plan never to tell, no matter how close I get to anyone. This sucks, because if I knew one of them had it, I wouldn’t bat an eye (Even my boss runs around talking about how she is on the exact same medication I’m on (which I absolutely love and it works), but because she’s going through a bad divorce and is seriously stressed. Somehow, that’s okay, whereas my need for medicine, which I was apparently born with, seems to make me suspect somehow.) I can’t even act like I know what the medication is, let alone share with my boss the experience of taking it, side effects, etc. I might be wrong about the disclosure of my illness causing the tides to turn at other jobs, but I doubt it.

I think there is 100% real discrimination against people with mental illness, even when their job performance is satisfactory. It’s illegal, but it’s done all the time simply by scrutinizing and paying undue attention to the normal workplace ups and downs of people who disclose mental illness to their coworkers.

It sucks, and I suspect this is a common experience among working adults with mental illness. But this rant is not in the Pit because I want to hear from other Dopers who have had similar (or completely different) experiences, as well as anyone else who has an opinion on the subject. What say you, Dopers?

Have a great day! :slight_smile:

2

There’s a lot to be said for doing one’s job without ever speaking of anyone’s personal matters of any sort.

3

ggurl I’m not saying hide your medical condition, but as long as it doesn’t effect your work, I wouldn’t worry about disclosing it. If you feel the need to at any time, disclose to whomever you feel like you need to, when you feel the need to. Otherwise it really is nobody’s business. You know your condition, you have it under control and it sounds like you’re pretty comfortable with that. Good for you.

4

Some of my bosses know that I have an affliction but not what it is exactly (Dysthymia with recurring Major Depression). To my knowledge, nobody else has any idea.

5

It’s true. Even the most “enlightened” bosses will want to get rid of you if you come out of the mental illness closet, even if you are a good employee. You’re perceived to be a ticking time bomb. If your work isn’t bad today, it probably will be tomorrow! :rolleyes:

Most of the female lawyers at my former law firm were being treated for mood disorders. But they would not ever tell anyone higher up on the totem pole because they didn’t want that stigma. (They told me because I was lower than them on the totem pole and I was on my way out the door anyway.) Funny thing is, it was several of those same women who were the least sympathetic and understanding about my condition, and who were shoving me toward the door the hardest.

6

I can’t think of a single good reason to discuss a single personal matter at work. You simply cannot trust people to handle your personal matters in a responsible way, and hence it’s a bad policy under any circumstances, and no matter what your particular issue. Reveal only if your life depends on it. Otherwise, look elsewhere for affirmation.

7

Hell’s bells, try getting a job, even a McJob, with a history of mental illness. I am barely keeping my head above water as a freelance writer these days, not because I like writing non-fiction articles, but because I can’t even get a job with McD’s or anyone else. I suspect I could win an ADA suit, but what’s the frigging point? (forgive my vulgarity) Sure, I’d get a settlement, and a job, but, gee, after two-three years, I’ll have a McJob. Whee.

It’s not that I dislike writing - but honestly my ideal job would be working as a chem tech. I’ve the skills, and experience, and everytime I’ve done it I’ve been excellent in the work, except for when I had a depressive break down. Not that I harmed anyone. But that doesn’t matter to anyone but me, it seems.

So, ggurl, I think you’re doing the right thing by keeping quiet, honestly. If you had an outside source of income, and felt like tilting windmills - you might be able to achieve some good by setting yourself up to be a test case of the law, but that sort of career usually chews up peoplek, and I’d hate to see it happen to anyone I care about, especially since most people don’t care to be educated about the realities of mental illnesses.

Of course, if I do manage to get my tenative plans for an Assembly campaign underway for next year… Maybe I could offer you a job. Hmm… a whole office staffed by people with mental illnesses - and still able to perform constituent service, and other things that the NYS Assembly members actually do (if their name isn’t Silver, that is.), what a concept. :wink:

8

Loopydude, you have a point. However, a diabetic can say, “I’m a little off now, because I took my insulin late;” someone with hypertension can likewise plead, “I need a minute to calm a bit, my heart is really racing;” certain women enjoy sharing all the details of their menstral cycle with anyone they meet; in theory, an epileptic can even have a fit during the working day, and there’s no adverse consequence. Why is it just this one category of illness that has to be kept quiet?

9

This one category of illness has to be kept quiet because employers like stability and a lack a drama over all other things (excluding profits, of course). Employers want to employ happy cogs who will do their soul grinding jobs day in and day out always the same. Being a cog who might, at any moment, cease to function will cause the Employer stress.
Your coworkers are not your friends. It is nearly always a mistake to treat them as though they were. You are always in an inherently competitive relationship with your coworkers.
And even when your coworkers are friendly, forget not the immortal words of GMRyujin:

and

10

If you meant this seriously, you seem to be demonstrating a pretty basic lack of understanding of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Depressive Disorder.

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (a close cousin to OCD - OCD actually falls under the umbrella of Anxiety Disorders) and if I don’t tell people, they never, ever know. This is true of most of the other members of my Anxiety Disorder self-help group.

Because of a fairly common lack of understanding of what Emotional Disorders are (I don’t like calling them mental illnesses, because that gets confusing with true mental illnesses like schizophrenia and manic-depressive disorder), I don’t always tell people I have an Anxiety Disorder.

According to some sources, 15% of the population have anxiety and depressive disorders. Chances are, you’re working beside someone with one who hasn’t told you.

11

I’m sorry my post was unclear. The vast majority of people who do not have a mental disorder of some kind will instantly assume on hearing you have one that you are destined to a) end up on top of a clock tower with a repeating rifle b) come to work naked under a coat of blue paint, or b) kill yourself messily in your cube. The same vast majority of people will make no distinction between a controlled mental illness and an uncontrolled one. In all likelihood, that vast majority contains your bosses and coworkers. IMHO, Don’t Tell. It’s not worth it.
I’m sorry about all of this. Normally, I would never tell anyone to stay in any closet. But in America, if you lose your job, you typically lose your health benefits and medications as well. Trusting any information that can get you fired, or even just get you a bad review, to the office grapevine is a bad, bad, *bad * idea.

12

What OtakuLoki said. I’m not looking for affirmation. :slight_smile:

13

Yup, you just have to keep your mouth shut about it, except with your closest friends. It really is amazing how ignorant people can be. I have depression and my son has ADHD and manic-depression (we’re both find and on meds). But my mother! She was a teacher and has a M.A. in psychology, you’d expect her to know better, but she has told me I’m taking “dangerous drugs,” and she went through a period when she’d say the only problem with my son was that he wasn’t being raised properly. This despite our having been diagnosed, and my son by numerous highly qualified and prestigious people. Now she just doesn’t comment on it, probably because my son is older and obviously doing fine, despite having a bad mother who takes dangerous drugs!!!

If you ever have children, you’ll be amazed at how ignorant some teachers are. You’d think they’d know better, and be aware that there are people out there with biological brain conditions. But no, it’s always the parent’s fault.

OK, I guess my rant is over. But your post just brought up a bunch of bad memories for me. It was quite a struggle for a while. We’re both fine now. But I really would NEVER tell ANYONE at work. Lots of people think that anyone with any kind of mental illness, medicated or not, treated or not, is some kind of potential homicidal lunatic.

And the teachers who DO understand are the best, most wonderful people on the planet. :slight_smile:

14

We Fight. (hoping the reference is not too obscure)

My immediate supervisor knows I’m a loony. He also knows my performance metrics exceed any of my coworkers’ by at least double, he gets no complaints from my customers, knows that I’m a valuable source of information for my peers & management and that I have an attention for detail that borders on autistic.

My coworkers already think I’m crazy. Some have asked me if I medicate for bipolar or manic depression or whatever… I tell them, “No, no meds for me! That’s just mind control drugs used by the government!” We laugh it off, they go away thinking, “Inigo, what a joker!” If they only knew…!

I’ll stay in the closet for a while longer because people are not yet ready to admit that people with bad brains aren’t necessarily a disaster waiting to happen. Big companies have Diversity Training to get folks to put aside distrust/fears of others with racial, ethnic, age or sexual orientations that are “different.” No quarter is given, however, to us.

15

How are potential employers finding this out about you prior to hiring?

I know that all my previous employers are loath to hand out this kind of information (or say anything negative) about an ex-employee on a reference for fear of getting sued.

16

Dude, Internet. You can find anyone’s medical records in fifteen minutes if you want to. And most employers do.

I wouldn’t (and don’t) tell a soul about anything relating to my personal life, politics, spiritual beliefs, etc and so forth. Those people aren’t there to be my friends, they aren’t there to offer support. They’re paying me to be a soulless machine and that’s what you must become. Yeah, we should all work towards making the world more safe and accepting for people with mental illness but I’ll be damned if I’m going to take one for the team and screw up my career just to broaden some people’s horizons. I don’t want to be a martyr, I just want to live my life. IMHO, I suggest you do the same.

(Oh yes, and at the transportation company I work at the dispatchers regularly refer to the vans used to traffic people to and from the local mental health center as the “nut vans.” Also, this is the twenty-first century. Just thought I’d point those two things out, in sequence, as if to draw some sort of depressing conclusion.)

17

I suspect that you’ll get acceptance if you work in a profession where results count (and not attitude), and where intelligence is valued.

I work in the computer industry. I’ve been a software engineer; now I’m a technical writer. I’ve told several managers about my depression, without any affect whatsoever. I think it’s because computer managers are used to all sorts of quirky behavior from their employees. Engineering and documentation are not exactly coat-and-tie atmospheres!

So, as long as you get the job done, nobody cares all that much how you do it. Lots of fighting and lack of cooperation with colleagues may be a cause for alarm in some places, though.

Intelligence also helps. Engineers and writers are very aware of the world. They know about mental illness, they know that it’s treatable. I think intelligence often leads to tolerance and acceptance.

I treat each situation differently. It would be nice if we could be “out of the closet”, but the world isn’t there yet. In fairness, it’s not only mental illness. Tell people you’re fighting cancer, and see how many can deal with it!

18

It would be great if everyone had the option of hiding their condition(s) from their employers indefinitely. Relapse, appointments, etc., often need to be brought up with HR.

/Ms Cyros

19

Please provide proof of this assertion.

20

I’d imagine they wouldn’t take it too badly, or at least, take it badly in a different way. When people at my workplace were seriously sick (and admittedly, I’ve only worked two jobs in my short life so my criteria may be skewed) people took up collections for them. There’s a collection going on right now for a guy who was in the hospital for heart problems. Somehow, I don’t think people would be as supportive for someone suffering from anxiety (suck it up!) or schizophrenia (well, that’s it at this job–or any other–for you, climb on into the nut van). People can be amazingly selective in what they choose to feel sympathy for and what they don’t.