Change is flowing thick and fast chez me. Yesterday I got laid off. The exit interview was quick, they called a cab, and at ten-thirty I was back home in my apartment.
Yesterday afternoon after I spoke with my counselor, I suddenly realized that I needed to see my best friends. So I went to visit them in the afternoon and it was very good to see them.
The Irish redhead I was interested, S, in has two sons; they were at my friends’ place, and it was the birthday on one of them, so we had birthday cake. I even spoke a little with S on the phone. (S is the one who had the brain operation in October.)
I have to call the employment counselor tomorrow and figure out what my next steps are. Another friend says that retraining programs will pay for going back to school, even university. I’d really like to confirm that. If I went to a school in the Toronto area, I could continue living here in this apartment.
I’ve managed to reduce my monthly living expenses by $500/month.
And with a bit of ingenuity, I think I can get that down another $110/month, by eliminating certain things including my home phone. What’s stopping me eliminating the home phone is that it’s also the intercom for my apartment from the front door. I’m not sure that I want that going to my cellphone.
I think that the buyout package they offered will end up as around twelve months’ living expenses. I know that I was mentioning having a lawyer look the thing over, but given a choice between some kind of legal battle and taking the money and running, I for one could do with the exercise.
In other news… another friend and I have been talking again about designing solar-powered houses. I think I am a lot clearer about what I do and don’t want to do, and I know that I can’t do it all by myself (which is one way I drove myself crazy). The legal stuff, the social stuff… I need help doing it. There were so many things I know about, but couldn’t quite do. The possibility of going back to school and finally getting an architecture degree? I have to really think about that.
I went to the Feast of Authors at the St Lawrence Market this evening. My sister J’s old friend from childhood was there. She’d contacted me via Facebook last week. We talked about my sister and the city where we grew up and everything. She gave me signed copies of her two books. I gave her a copy of one of J’s poems. I also bought a copy of her book and she signed it, for my still-living sister A. (J passed away almost twenty years ago and I still miss her intensely.)
Another book grabbed my attention: “A Gift of Hope” by Shadonna Richards RN, who turned out to be a beautiful black lady, and it was very good speaking with her. I needed that boost. It was exactly the book I needed too, so I bought one.
Yet another friend and I successfully created a functioning iPhone app on Tuesday night, and loaded it to my iPhone. Now I have more time to figure out how he made the program work. I think that there may be some money to be made there as well, once I figure out how to do it. I have all sorts of ideas for useful apps and my friend does too.
And now I can crank up studying AutoCAD too.
So I’m feeling a lot more hopeful than I would have expected, even though things are totally uncertain. I keep dipping briefly down into shame and embarassment, but only briefly. And there are vast continents of work-related worry that I no longer have to worry about. The rent cheque just went through, so even if things went wrong, I have a place to live until the end of the month. And my friends said that I could come and live with them if need be.
Or maybe I’ll go to Saskatchewan. I understand that they’re hiring.