In which I hand out ten grand—with a catch . . .

I really should have a car.

Alabama has never met me, which I’d like to change.

Texas has never met me, which I’d also like to change.

France hasn’t seen me since 1995, which will change at some point but I don’t know.

My computer could really use some serious upgrades.

I’ve always wanted to see the Braves kick some ass, and I know my father and youngest sister would love to come along, too.

I lust for furniture.

I just bought some new chairs and a table, and it only made me want more…

A big entertainment center for my TV’s, VCR’s, tapes, etc.

The lamp table and coffee table to match my end table.

Nice rugs.

A new kitchen table and chairs.

A proper desk for my computer, with a really comfortable, adjustable office chair.

And the $995.00 20-volume second edition of the Oxford English Dictionary.

Or maybe just the $295.00 CD-ROM version.

First, pay off my car. Then get Lasik. That should take up just about the whole amount. Whatever’s left I’d blow on DVDs and books. Yes, I am a wild and crazy guy!

Hmm…I could spend 10k so easily…

I’d move back to NYC and furnish an apartment. I’d need new clothes and shoes to go with my new apartment, so I’d go on a major shopping spree. If I had any left over, I’d blow it on take-out and random beauty products.

Rose

What’s that sucking sound. Oh, it’s only pipeliner.

$ 500. for CD-rom version of OED.
2000. for etymology dictionaries, bought on used book sites. 500. for new glasses/eye appointment. (tri-focals, dammit!)
6800. for ultimate blowout dopefest in Northern Ohio. Guest speaker=**tomndebb**(Hey! he doesn't work cheep!) 200. Viagra for dopefest.


$10,000. Thanks, Eve.

I would get laser eye surgery and an HDTV so I could watch my anamorphic DVDs in their fullest capacity.

I’ve been wanting a widescreen HDTV for two years. DUH-RHOOOL.

$10K to spend on little ol’ me?

First and foremost - a new and good bed. Truly sorely needed. No s***, this is a life-saving issue here. So, $1600 gone.

Then a new suit, $600.

Then a new computer ($3000) and the accessories ($2000) as well as the chair and appropriate furniture to go with it ($1800).

Leaves a grand - hmmm…, Vegas Dopers?

The sensible me says:

10,000 bucks would pay off our small mortgage (we live in the land o’ creative financing schemes), which would save us a bunch of money in interest and drop our monthly payments by a little more than two hundred dollars, which would make a heck of a lot of difference in our overall financial health.

The wanton, reckless, irresponsible me says:

10,000 bucks would buy a better computer than the one on which I am currently typing - like, one that didn’t develop a new pathology every 3 weeks. I’d spend about 3 k on that. Then I’d buy a new CD player, 'cause mine has developed Terminal Skip Disorder. With the rest, I’d add an extra bathroom to our house.

But the sensible me would win out every time, not the least of which because I have to live with the ultra-sensible Loved One, who would hurt me if I blew 10k. But also because the sensible me is right. So, Eve, shall I send you the address of our mortgage company?

My rudimentary calculations indicate that $10,000 would buy:

190 Litres Tanqueray 10
+
190 Litres Absolut
+
1000 Limes

fixins for approximately 5200 Gimlets

One gimlet a day for 14 years (with 90 left over for days that need two)
With some lime to spare.

First I would buy the most expensive and loaded computer Dell sells.

What’s left should pay for a cruise to somewhere warm. I’m not picky where.

“Land, Katie Scarlet, it’s the only thing that lasts”.

I know of some property in Nova Scotia I could get for $10K

The Restoration Hardware Marston cherry panel bed (queen), queen size mattress, obscenely high threadcount sheets, new pillow, down comforter and duvet cover. Est. $3500

Put in granite countertops in the kitchen/bath of what will hopefully be my new condo if this seller isn’t a freak like the last one. Est. $3500

Heli-skiing in France. Est. $2750

Frame the original art from pg 21 of Sandman #50. Est. $250

Tool around the US in a large, private sleeper car bedroom on a train… one of the ones that families normally use. Visit frinds in Chicago, NYC, East Coast in general. Visit Eve to thank her for her largess, etc…, etc…

I’d be able to pay back my parents, not that they ever asked me to. They’ve been so wonderful to me, with all the money in the world I’d never be able to pay them back.

I’d pay my tuition.

Got my financial aid statement for next year, and it’s not looking well.

OH! …and I’d move back home to my family so I could be surrounded by them again and have something to live off of while I found a job.

Eve, if you truly plan on going through with this, I honestly admire your selflessness and philanthropy.

As for what I would do for $10,000, I would use the money to patent a few of my inventions. From the licensing of the patents and the development of the inventions, I would reinvest the profits into development of the more technical inventions. If these inventions panned out, I would be well on my way to multi-millionaire-hood, wherein I would disburse a large amount of my wealth to the creation of the Eve Golden social literacy foundation which would encourage art and reading appreciation in youths. I would also use my wealth for philanthropic projects such as working to restore the rights of the American citizen which have been stripped, among others. I’d also like to write a book on social theory.

The average patent research and filing has been quoted to me at $2500. $10000 should be enough for three patents, including unforseen costs, four if there aren’t any. The sale or licensing of these three or four should result in profits enough to develop further inventions. Money: It’s hard to get started, but once you do, it’s the only machine that’s self-replicating.

Just think, you could be the reason for massive social reform and the dawn of a new age of enlightenment.

The mythic Eve reborn as a good-will Goddess of social equality.

Call me an idealist.

–Tim

I would use about $2,000 to visit RickQ in England immediately.

The rest I would use to hire an immigration attorney to speed things along with his move here. Trust me, having him here is the best thing I can get for me. After all, he is going to have all those DVDs and a big-ass TV. :slight_smile:

Any leftover funds could go toward furniture and beautiful lingerie.

I would blow six grand on a ridiculously powerful computer (though of course it’d still be obsolete in a year). And I’d paint it dark blue. That leaves around $4000.

Oh no wait, it’d be US$10,000 wouldn’t it? Cool! :slight_smile: That leaves approx $7000 then.

I’d probably buy a few lizardy/dragony things, 'cause I love all things lizardy/dragony. I’d pay my HECS debt for physics this semester if it turns out that I did fail (my work pays my HECS with the proviso that I have to pass).

Then with the remainder, augmented by my own funds, I’d fly to Canada and sweep Obsidian Flutterby off her feet. :slight_smile:

Tahiti here I come.