Inconvenienced Like A Rat

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was going to go with “Trapped Like A Rat”, but honestly, we weren’t trapped at all. We didn’t have free and easy egress from our domicile, but it was a far cry from a trap. Even one of those Hav-A-Hart™ live traps you can get. And “Trapped Like A Rat” sounds like a cheesy (ha!) TV movie. One of those movies of the week they used to have, with Morgan Fairchild, Tom Berringer, Nancy McKeon and Gary Busey, with Gil Gerard as “the Sheriff”.

Cast your mind back to Friday afternoon. Remember that? Did you have some nice weather? We didn’t. We had some Large Weather blow through. Thunder and lightning and rain by the bucket (which would have done some good, but all-told it lasted for about a half an hour). All this weather brou-ha-ha did something. I’m not sure just what, but there was no power here at Case del DeDay. Next door, now that was another story (They are on a different Power Grid or some such. They had electricity pumping through their wiring, where as we did not.). The phone lines were good and the gas was Jake (so we had as much hot water as we could ever need), but the electricity was out. All in all this was No Big Deal, only… our car was in the garage.

“So?” you ask.

Well, it’s like this, we have one of those spiffy garage door openers. A spiffy electric garage door opener. With no electricity. Which means we couldn’t get the family sedan out of the garage. Well, we could have, but that would have been a hassle. I’d have to pull the release handle and then lift the garage door manually. No big deal, only it’s a one car garage which puts the release handle directly over the middle of the car. And the geniuses who put in the spiffy garage door opener figured it’d be a rip-snortin’ good idea to take off all the hardware from the door. You know, the lock and the lifting-the-door-to-get-out handle? That. Gone, all gone. And if I did pull the release handle there’s no guarantee it would re-engage. Actually, the way things go, odds are the release handle wouldn’t even come close to re-engaging. It wasn’t worth the risk.

Our other option was to take Katcha’s carseat out of the family sedan and put it in the workin’ car. This would have taken minutes. It was the way we probably would have gone. If we had to be somewhere.

We had another option that I didn’t think of at the time. Remember how I said the neighbors’ still had power? Well, we have these real long orange extension cords. Plug into their house, run the extension cord over to our house and stick it through the hole in the door where the lock used to be. Plug our garage door opener into the extension cord and start to raise the door. Unplug it and run the extension cord under the door rather than through the hole in the middle that could have cut the cord in half when the door got partially up. Finish putting the door up. Back the car out. Then put the door back down in two swipes like putting it up only the other way.

That would have worked, only our neighbors’ weren’t home. But I do have their house key. In case of emergencies. When they gave it to me, they never said THEIR emergencies, or exactly what constitutes an emergency. So I think I’d be justified in running orange extension cords through their house to open my garage.

Only we were going with the simpler plan of moving the carseat. Only we didn’t have to. Right after the Little Woman got our bags packed (We were going over to Mom’s. She had power the whole time.), but before I started to mess with the carseat, power came back. I knew it would soon, it never stays out long. So we didn’t go anywhere.

We did make popcorn in the basement though. I told Soupo if the power wasn’t back on by snacktime, I’d get out my camping stove and make popcorn in the basement. Even though the power was back, it seemed a rip not to make him Basement Popcorn. So we went down and did that. It needed more butter.
-Rue
Bonus Thing, Just 'Cause You Deserve it

In the Sunday paper there was this one story. It was about this one lady who got caught in a flash flood and was swept through a 36 foot culvert. While she was getting swept through said culvert she remembers thinking (so she says, and who am I to doubt her?) “Jesus, I can’t believe this is how you’re going to take me.”

Jesus was going to “take her”. And not in the good romantical way, either.

Jesus as Mob Enforcer. Tired of being Savior? Try an exciting career as a Hit Man.

I thought it was funny. But only because the lady was OK and didn’t drown in the culvert.
-Rue. (who can sign a post six or seven times)

2

Well, I always say any day you can have basement popcorn is a good day.

OK, I’ve never said that. I wouldn’t want to make popcorn in my basement - it’s a workshop full of sawdust and cans of toxic stuff. Plus the microwave is in the kitchen, and I only make microwave popcorn, which I couldn’t make if we lost power… No, I had no point here…

Rue, you could avoid all these crises in the future by getting a generator. Then when your power goes out, you fire up that puppy and life goes on uninterrupted! Plus it makes noise and belches exhaust, and I’ve never known a man who doesn’t get his jollies making noise and belching. You and the boys would be in hog heaven!! And the Little Woman could go to a nice quiet Tea Room to get away from the testosterone haze. Everyone wins! :smiley:

Even the lady in the culvert.

3

Mmmm. Basement Popcorn.

It almost makes being without Electricity bearable.

Speaking of bearable, did you share the popcorn with the bears in the Basement?

4

Rue, you buttered your basement? Did the spiders get any of that basement popcorn? Was the power out long enough to let your beer get hot? :eek:

I helped a friend move a mattress and box springs from here all the way over to west Alabama this weekend. I’m a good friend, so I offered to load the mattress and box springs on the back of my truck (which was better than loading them in the inside of my truck cause then it woulda been too crowded for me to get in there which woulda made driving the truck kinda hard) and off we went. We wrapped the mattress and box springs in plastic and used duct tape to tape the plastic, which was a good thing because we got into Large weather when we were about 25 miles away from where we were going. Never fear, the mattress and box springs got there all safe and dry. Oh, we secured the mattress and box springs with those bungee cord thingies like you can buy at hardware stores and the better Wal-Marts. After that, we went to my friend’s brother’s house (the brother lives in west Alabama) and hung out Friday night and Saturday. His brother has a pool so we hung out at the pool, drank beer and bbqed chicken. Then, I drove home yesterday, but didn’t get into any Large weather on the way home. Last night I had some micorwave popcorn because I had electricity and besides my house doesn’t have a basement, just an attic. I’m not real sure popcorn should be popped in an attic. It just doesn’t sound right.

Just thought I’d share. It’s kinda fun to hijack Rue’s
threads.

Oh, and I’m glad the lady in the culvert is ok. Flash floods are scary stuff.

One more thing. I think it’s good you made Soupo basement popcorn even when you didn’t have to. He and Katcha are lucky to have a Dad who’ll do cool things with 'em just cause.

5

Snickers, I don’t need anything else with an engine around here, thanks. As much as I find making noise and belching appealing, I’ve had it up to here (and right now I’m holding my hand way up high on my forehead, you’d think it would interfere with my typing more than it does, weird) with motorized things.

I blame my lawnmower. It went out of it’s way to hack me off this weekend. First, it was way-hot. Second, I had to cut some grass. (The up-side is I dodn’t have to cut ALL my grass, just the stuff in back. The grass up front figured it’s too hot to grow. The grass in back is some bastard-hybrid that grows anyway.) For no good reason, my mower decided to blow the plastic guard that keeps grass from blowing back at you off. That wasn’t so bad since I had it in “mulch mode”. Except that the guard thing holds in the mulch plate thing. So when the guard blew off, the mulch plate shot out too. No injuries were reported, but I had to jam the whole mess back together. I actually had to fixit. Duct tape wouldn’t have held. Dern it.

So things with engines are not on my Sunshiney Good List right now.

I had a job washing dishes at the Retirement Home one summer. They had a big ol’ generator for when the power went out. It was like a tractor with no wheels.

When the power didgo out, I had to go figure the bastard out. They gave me the manual and said “make it work”. Didn’t happen though. It didn’t have any gas. The power came back on soon enough though.

The Basement Bears didn’t ask for any popcorn (or “popitycorn” if your like dwyr or something) Zap. I think they’re visiting relatives up North whilst it’s so hot down this-a-way. I haven’t seem 'em lately anyway. You’d think they’d write. At least a postcard.

I’m still waiting for you to actually hijack my thread Swampy. As far as I could see, you merely expounded on “Large Weather”. But them I give more latitude on hijacks than somepeople around here that I won’t name. (Mostly because I can’t think of anyone, but also because I’m just a Nice Guy.)

Do you ever listen to Jimmy Buffett? (Specifically Swampy, but anyone else too.) Specifically (I’m seeing how many sentences I can start with that word, “specifically”. It’s an experiment.) “God’s Own Drunk”. Specifically (Yeah, that one is gratuitous, but whatcha gonna do?) off the album (but I have it on CD, even though I called it an “album”.) Living and Dying in 3/4 Time. Specifically the part where it goes:

He took two steps backwards and didn’t know what to think. Neither did I, but, being charitable and cautious, well hell, I approached him again. I said, “Mr. Bear, you know in the eyes of the Lord, we’re both beasts when it comes right down to it. So I want you to be my buddy, ‘Buddy Bear.’” So I took ole’ Buddy Bear by his island sized paw and I led him over to the still. Now he’s a’ sniffin’ around that thing ‘cause he’s smellin’ somethin’ good. I gave him one of them jugs of honeydew vine water, he downed it upright, (looked like one of them damn bears in the circus sippin’ sasparilly in the moonlight.) I gave him another and another and another 'fore I knew it, he’d downed eight of 'em and commenced to do the “bear dance.” Two sniffs, a snort, a fly, a turn and a grunt; and it was so simple like the jitterbug it plumb evaded me.
Specifically, I don’t know why this comes to mind. But sometimes it’s best not to ask.
-Rue.

6

Well, that’s good about the bears Rue. I mean, I know you’d share, but the Basement Bears might get antsy waiting for the corn to pop on the stove and all. I’m sure they’re spoiled and used to microwave popcorn by now.

And it’s not trail mix, it’s popcorn. So you don’t have to keep it in the bags marked “Bear Poison.”

Now, if swampy was there, I’m sure you’d let him have some popcorn. And I’m sure he’d share his beer. Right swampy?

And I agree with swampy on the whole cool thing. . .it was nice of ya to make Basement Popcorn even though you didn’t have to.

7

Zap! Of course Rue woulda shared the popcorn and I woulda shared the beer. If you’d been there I’d have even brought along some okra. Basement popcorn, beer and okra. Could it get any better?

8

Today was my first day at my shiny new job. I had my posh suit (Pin-striped. Snazzy. Got to make a good first impression) out all ready so I could have a shower and then look all spiffy on my first day. Only my mum woke me up at 7.30 to say that a water main had burst in our garage overnight and flooded the it (and it isn’t used like a garage is used by sensible people who keep their cars in it. No, we have old sofas and various easily-water-damaged objects).

The burst water pipe was still spraying water everywhere so my dad had to turn off the water at the mains. Which means no shower for me. It even means no morning cup of tea. I was perturbed. I couldn’t go to work all smelly and lacking in the fortitude a cup of tea gives me.

Fortuitously, I am a member of a gym which is but 50 feet away from my new place of work. And gyms have showers. So I rushed off to the gym and made use of their facilities. See, a healthy lifestyle pays off when you least expect it. There’s a moral for you.

I didn’t get any tea though.

9

I used “fortitude” or a varient thereof twice in quick succession. I are smrt.

10

Rue, here in New Jersey we had large weather on Friday also. My house lost power a few times but the last time it lost power it was out from 9:30pm on Friday to around 11pm on Saturday. We used ice to keep the things in the freezer semi-frozen. Our phone lines are still out (thank [insert your diety here] for cell phones). We too have a garage door opened for out garage, but we don’t store cars in the garage, so we unhooked the opener and opened it by hand when we wanted to go out.

11

Actually I think poppitycorn looks better because if you call it po’pitycorn it sorta looks like you should feel sorry for the corn and why should anyone feel sorry for crunchy, fluffy goodness like that? It’s very fulfilled. Or maybe that’s filling. Anyway…

We had no Large Weather here but the power went out at work on Thursday anyhow. Luckily we have backup generators here at the hospital and people who know how to use them so there was electricity to be had. However apparently not enough to spare for air conditioning and unconditioned air is just icky. And hot and sticky besides. Add that to the fact that there was no tapwater anyone could drink due to the water company’s little difficulties of the day before and it was not a pleasant night, no indeed.

But on the light side I had tea on Saturday. And little sandwich things and cookies and pineapple ice. All of which I made with my own two hands and presumably safe city water by that time. At least I haven’t come down with any symptoms or such.

Since we’ve had no Large Weather my yard is all brown and crispy right now but that doesn’t seem to bother the groundhog any. He comes right out and grazes on the non-brown weeds and he’s really kinda cute. He came to my back door on Saturday and was standing up with his forepaws pressed against the screen door looking all forlorn. Po’ thing. It took me a few minutes to realize why he looked so sad. I had put some moldy bread I no longer wanted (because I don’t really like furry food) in a bag and set it by the back door to be thrown in the bin the next morning. Mr.Groundhog must like furry food because he had nibbled on it and was looking for the leftovers which I had thrown out already. What could I do? Regarding this situation specifically I mean. I went and retrieved the bread and left it out in the yard and Mr. Groundhog scarfed it down.

At least I think it was a Mr. With a groundhog how can you tell? From a distance especially 'cause he might be cute but we’re not on intimate terms or anything.

12

Mmm, okra. I just thought I would point out the promise of okra in this thread. And beer. I really have to whip me up some of that okra featured a couple of Rue-threads ago.

But besides that, we haven’t had any Large Weather out here in nearly a year. The lawns are still bright green, but that’s only because we help them out. Lawns need all the help they can get here, even if they don’t have groundhogs in them. If you choose to have a lawn. That is a policy I am strongly against as it raises the humidity, and humidity is always bad, especially in 120 degree weather.

I wish we had basements out here. We don’t have basements or attics, probably due in part to the lack of Large Weather. All we need are air conditioners. The best you can hope for here, popcorn-wise, is blanket-fort popcorn. It’s pretty good stuff, but with none of the exoticism of basment popcorn in Large Weather.

13

Just as a pointless addendum, anyone know what a groundhog stuffed with all the tomatoes from my garden would taste like?
[sup]Bread’s not good enough for him apparently… grumble…grumble…[/sup]

14

It just occurred to me that if you could disguise those orange extension cords with some snakey-colored paint and fake eyes you might be able to cut your electricity bill considerably, Rue.

If your neighbors are anything like me, they won’t bother any hundred foot long snakes! Even if they (the snakes, not your neighbors) ARE really skinny and don’t move a lot…

15

Rue,
Your Jimmy Buffett CD IS an album. It would be an album whether on CD, vinyl, cassette, 8-track or mp3 player. Album is not the medium, it is the format - a collection of songs purchased as a single volume. You see, I know this because I once found a box full of old 78 rpm records in an attic of an unoccupied house I was working on. I did not realize before that that there was only one song per side of a 78. These 78’s (that I found in that attic) were in large book-like volumes whose pages were sleeves for the records. Each volume had 5 or 6 records in it which made 10 or 12 songs per record album. So if you were to buy the latest release on CD from No Doubt (which I doubt you would, since you are able to quote obscure Jimmy Buffett lyrics) it too would be an album, even though it was never recorded on vinyl. Unless of course, you bought the single:D.

16

dwyr, you can tell the boy gophers from the girl gophers easily enough. The boy gophers wear straw hats and overalls while the girl gophers wear gingham dresses. (You can learn a lot from Bugs Bunny.)

And I think tomato and bread stuffed gophers was what got the Pilgrims through their first harsh winter. Or was that Virginia Colony? Anyway, lightly grill it and baste well with basalmic vinegar and dill. Or endive, your choice.

Just take the straw hat off first. you don’t want a fire in your oven.

No good Astroboy, but it is a clever idea. My neighbor deals with snakes by “accidentally” running them over with his lawnmower. But if I videotaped it, I could win $10,000 on that one video show which just isn’t the same since Bob Saget left. Now there’s a thought…

Lyric quote for Rhubarb:

Go on and get the lighter
We’re gonna need some fire
Let’s get a little higher
The battlefield is tired
And why all that?
Go on baby and get the lighter
We’re gonna start the fire

That of course is from No Doubt’s “Start the Fire”. But you all knew that. (Google is a wonderful thing.) So figure this one out:

Any time, Or anywhere,
Just look over your shoulder
Guess who’ll be standing there

(And an album is either a big plastic circle with a groove on it you put on a record player to make sound come out, or a big book you put pictures in. Sorry, that’s the rule.)
-Rue.

17

Oops! dwyr was talking about groundhogs, not gophers. (Maybe I should read allthe words in a post…)

But the way you tell them apart is the same. The overalls or the dress. Gophers always wear miner’s helmets and wistle through their teeth when they talk.

And while the Pilgrim ate gophers all winter (with endive), they waited untill February for their Groundhog Feast. (But maybe I’m just thinking of sausages.)
-still me.