Incredibly Stupid Things You've Heard Others Say, part 181672561

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
141

Oh, I’ve got another one I just remembered.

Last year on my 21st birthday, my friends and I (one being the Doper RandMcNally) went to go see Letters from Iwo Jima. I’m a big military history nerd who was in Vegas for her 21st birthday, so I mean, what else could I have done? :stuck_out_tongue:

(I don’t think this should be in spoilers, since it’s. . . you know. . . a historical fact, but just in case: BEWARE! SPOILERS!)

Anyway, there is a part in the movie where some of the Japanese soldiers are committing suicide via hand grenade the the chest. The scene is hardly for the faint of heart, but they honestly could have made it much worse than it was. It was during this scene that the elderly woman behind us (who may very well have been alive during the WW2) exclaimed, “Ugh! This is just GRATUITOUS!”

We couldn’t help it- the three of us burst out laughing (which surely caused her to tell all of her friends about the rude youngins in front of her in the theater :frowning: ). I mean, honestly, who goes to see a movie about the Battle of Iwo Jima- an incredibly deadly, bloody, dirty, awful battle- and complains about the gratuitous violence?

142

Another one I just remembered.

I was at a local mall with my sister when the fire alarms suddenly went off. We looked around, saw a few people coming out of stores to see if anything was wrong, and then went on our way. It was pretty obvious that the alarm was just a malfunction, as there was no running, screaming, smoke, or sprinklers dousing everyone. It’s a smallish mall, and you can walk the entire thing in about 10 minutes.

After 20 minutes of constant ringing, we pass the mall manager and a maintainence person looking at an electrical panel. A group of young teenage girls walks up to them, and one of them asks: “Is the mall on fire?” The manager just looks at them for a second, then gathers himself up and says: “If the mall was on fire, you wouldn’t be in here.”

It wouldn’t have been stupid if the alarms had just started to ring, if it was a large mall, or if there was general confusion. However, it had been 20-ish minutes, and everyone was completely ignoring the alarm except for maybe covering their ears. AND the mall manager was looking at an electrical panel as opposed to guiding firemen, running about with an extinguisher, or herding people out.

143

[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima]
I mean, honestly, who goes to see a movie about the Battle of Iwo Jima- an incredibly deadly, bloody, dirty, awful battle- and complains about the gratuitous violence?
[/QUOTE]

Did I ever tell you about the guy who burst into the video store I was managing, threw a tape at my head and yelled, “This is the dumbest fing movie I ever seen! [sic ]The stupidest piece of sh! I want my f*ing money back, g-d it!” and as I help my hand to my (slightly) bleeding forehead, I turned over the box to read the title: Dumb and Dumber?

Yeah.

I think you sat in front of his mother.

144

[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima]
…who goes to see a movie about the Battle of Iwo Jima- an incredibly deadly, bloody, dirty, awful battle- and complains about the gratuitous violence?
[/QUOTE]

Probably the same kind of person who would complain about nudity in Schindler’s List.

145

[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima]
We couldn’t help it- the three of us burst out laughing (which surely caused her to tell all of her friends about the rude youngins in front of her in the theater :frowning: ). I mean, honestly, who goes to see a movie about the Battle of Iwo Jima- an incredibly deadly, bloody, dirty, awful battle- and complains about the gratuitous violence?
[/QUOTE]

I’ve heard people complain about the violence in *Saving Private Ryan * and Schindler’s List. Um, hello, people, could you possibly look at the whole story line? We’re not talking about *Halloween XX * here.

146

OK, now you bring to mind another story.

A friend of my ex-wife’s had joined us for an evening out.

On the way to our car she complained about how noisy, crowded and smokey it was in the bar we’d just left.

It was an Irish Pub,

10:30 pm,

In Akron,

on March 17th.

147

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Did I ever tell you about the guy who burst into the video store I was managing, threw a tape at my head and yelled, “This is the dumbest fing movie I ever seen! [sic ]The stupidest piece of sh! I want my f*ing money back, g-d it!” and as I help my hand to my (slightly) bleeding forehead, I turned over the box to read the title: Dumb and Dumber?

Yeah.

I think you sat in front of his mother.
[/QUOTE]

dies laughing. . . on a non gratuitous manner

[QUOTE=cwthree]
Probably the same kind of person who would complain about nudity in Schindler’s List.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, lord. Yeah, didn’t you know? History only consisted of puppies, love, and other equally happy things. In fact, when Cortes came over to hang out with the natives in Mexico, he brought over puppies and lollipops for everyone*. All in all, he was a really nice guy and it was a good relationship for everyone.

*Infected with smallpox cough cough

148

[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima]
He quite seriously believed that Hannibal Lecter was a real guy who needed to be done away with through the Death Penalty.
[/QUOTE]
I have found that in almost any high school class you can find someone who thinks that Forrest Gump was a real person.

“But there’s that Bubba Gump restaurant!”

149

[QUOTE=Shamozzle]
-I was wearing a Beatles t-shirt a couple years ago and a co-worker asked me, “Did you get that on tour?” They broke up before I was born.
[/QUOTE]
In 1982, this conversation was reported among the guys in my electric shop class:

Kid: Mr. Sadowski, do you like punk?

MS: I like the Beatles. Are they still together?

150

I have to share today’s dose of stupid, from one of my favorite people in the world: my husband. I married him partly 'cause he’s not stupid, but we all have our days.

We were in the car jamming out to CCR’s “Proud Mary”. He did a mental :smack:

“This song is about a river boat!”

Me: “Are you for real? You just figured that out? ‘But I never saw the good side of the city, til I hitched a ride on a river boat queen.’ It’s right there in the song, very obvious!”

“I don’t pay very close attention to the lyrics…”

Me: " :dubious: But you’re a lyricist yourself…"

“I thought Proud Mary was a person or something.”

I love him anyways. And I’m sure I’ve done this a time or two myself.

151

[QUOTE=Santo Rugger]
Roofing work is hotter because there’s less shade, and the roofing surface reflects more heat than the ground. So, although you’re not significantly closer to the sun, it sure feels that way! :frowning:
[/QUOTE]
I don’t dispute that it’s hotter’n blazes working on the roof in the summer in the sun. I just had to laugh about his “being closer to the sun” comment.

152

[QUOTE=Cardinal]
I have found that in almost any high school class you can find someone who thinks that Forrest Gump was a real person.

“But there’s that Bubba Gump restaurant!”
[/QUOTE]

I went to see The Madness of King George on the last night of its run, and in the theatre were:

Me
An older couple, looked to be in their late 40’s
3 teenagers ruminating about the extra credit they’d get for writing up this piece of Shakespeare they were about to see.

153

This was told to me by my brother’s girlfriend, right after she heard it: She was waiting in line to buy her books. She heard two girls talking behind her.
Girl A: You know, one of the things I like about myself is that when I really want to do something, I try really hard and then I do it. Like, when I was in high school, I really wanted to be a cheerleader, and I was! And then, when I started college, I really wanted to be in a sorority, and *then I was! *
Girl B: Ah. Hey, what science are you taking?
Girl A: I think I’m going to take Environmental Science. I mean, we’re ON the earth. O2, O3, how hard can it be?

154

How many current high school students have even heard of Forrest Gump? I was too young to understand the movie when it came out, and I graduated from high school in 2004.

Reminds me of the sorority girl who moved in next door to my parents’ house a couple blocks from the University of Arizona.

Me: So, what’s your major?
SG: Well, I wanted to be a CIA agent, but then I decided I didn’t want to take a foreign language.
Me: So…what are you doing now?
SG: Fashion.
Me: :dubious: OK, Miss Congeniality*, don’t you need to take French and/or Italian for that?
SG: Yeah, I’m going to Italy next semester! I’m so excited!
Me: I’m gonna go ahead and commit seppuku and then we can both pretend this conversation never happened. Got any katanas around?*

  • I didn’t actually say the stuff preceding the astericks.
155

One of my coworkers was talking about her ex-boss yesterday, and how he’d set ridiculous deadlines and not understand why she couldn’t meet them. When she was trying to explain why his deadlines were completely unrealistic, he came out with this gem.

“I pay you to program, not to think.”

I told her about this thread and she asked me to pass it on to you. This is one of the reasons he’s her ex-boss.

156

[QUOTE=bufftabby]
Indeed, she thought that homosexuality was an invention of the media, akin to Godzilla or space mutants. It totally blew her mind that gay people were real.
[/QUOTE]

Godzilla is GAY!!!

Why doesn’t he move to San Francisco.

157

[QUOTE=FairyChatMom]
I don’t dispute that it’s hotter’n blazes working on the roof in the summer in the sun. I just had to laugh about his “being closer to the sun” comment.
[/QUOTE]

Oooh, Roofers…interesting breed of people.
When my husband was building his sisters house - a couple doors down from us - ( and working a regular job.) I was called one day to find out how the roofers were doing.

So I trot on down the street to see them all sitting around drinking beer and doing nothing. At 10 amish.
I asked the guys where they got the beer. They pointed to my sister in law, who was up for the day at the site being ANAL RETENTIVE WOMAN and watching them work ( in case they made a mistake on something she’d be there to catch the problem…if she knew anything about building a house. :rolleyes: ) yet when the wood siding guy used a completely different kind of cedar on the back part of the house than the front - because he had run out and didn’t think anyone would notice - Anal Retentive Woman who was there WATCHING, missed that one. ( My FIL, who doesn’t miss a trick because he was in the trade for 40 years, took one look at it and told him to do it right. Schweeet!) Oooh, and the carpet that was installed on their staircase was done wrong. And she missed that one, despite CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!111!!!

" Uh, what is with the beer?"

“Well, " She said, " It’s hot out and I thought I would treat them.”

“Uh, you realize that if they get drunk and fall off the roof, its on your brother’s insurance and it is a whole lotta headaches and hassles. You realize this, yes?”
I’m pretty sure I wasn’t so level headed and yelled at her and said ‘Fuck’ and ’ Dumbass’ alot.

I told the guys they were done for the day and marched determinedly back to my house, rapidly dialed my husband at work ( this is before Cell Phones were surgically attached to everyone’s hands.) Told him I sent the roofers home for the day.

“What? Why? What happened?” ( All excellent questions, considering I had about a nth more building experience than his dipshit sister.)

“You’re sister bought them a case of beer.”

Yeah, she got an earful later on.

158

[QUOTE=Mint Julep]
“There go my English teacher”

  • spoken by a kid in the mall yesterday near me
    [/QUOTE]

I wish I could blame this on the English teacher, but the English curriculums that I see do not focus heavily on grammar (unless it is an ESL course). What happens, especially if the child does not read, is that the child picks up the parents speech. I was appalled, and voiced my opinion, of the grammar and spelling on papers that were posted in my daughter’s middle school as “excellent work”. I just received a nasty look from the teacher.

(My daughter has stopped asking my to proofread papers because I look at grammar and spelling in addition to content. She is queen of the run-on sentence, and holds another title in extraneous words. She is especially fond of starting sentences with “So”.)

159

[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest]
10 amish
[/QUOTE]
Amish roofers drink beer? Who knew??

d&r

160

[QUOTE=Foxy40]
I just recalled another one. Years ago when I first moved to the sunshine state from NY, a coworker asked me what the time difference was.
[/QUOTE]

Wait, doesn’t FL cover two time zones? When I lived in Panama City, I was in Central time, but IIRC, I was about 20 miles from Eastern.