Indiana Jones and the Existential Crisis!
How about Indiana Jones and the Search for the Fountain of Youth?
Except that Ponce de Leon was right about it being in Florida, but it’s in the middle of a vast theme park in the middle of state, which was built to hide it. And the creator of the park, who was believed to have been cryogenically frozen after death is actually still alive and living in the park (along with other famous people, like Elvis Presley, Thomas Edison and Mark Twain).
Temple of Doom was great…as an arcade game (“Kali-Ma will rule dee world! AIIIEEEE!”). As a film, well…if you took a drink every time Kate Capshaw screamed shrilly, you’d be dead of alcohol poisoning by the end. Horrible.
Despite the capoeira-fightin’ jungle natives, the South American bits took place in southern and eastern Peru, not Brazil (Nazca region and then the western Amazon).
I know this because my Peruvian-born wife spent a bit of time mentioning how they were fucking up all the details of being in Peru.
a) Because it wasn’t that great
b) Because everyone knows she got the part because she was the director’s mistress. As an actress she was okay, but her less screechy helpless female roles were a lot better.
I would be okay with it if it were Indy telling stories in flash back mode…sort of a la Young Indiana Jones/Dustin Hoffman in Little Big Man.
Indiana Jones and the Magic Mushroom!
Yeah, Temple was my favorite when I was a little kid, but as I got older I liked it less and less, now I like the other two equally well, with Temple as a distant third.
Crystal Skull, I thought it was entertaining in parts, but it just didn’t feel like an Indiana Jones movie to me, if that makes any sense. No, the rest are not realistic, but this one is so much more far-fetched it’s ridiculous. The villains in the others (at least Crusade & Raiders) have clear motivations - they want the Ark because it would make their army invincible, and the cup gives you eternal life. Within the movie, the plots make sense even if they’re fantastical in real life.
Crystal Skull doesn’t, you don’t really know why anyone is doing anything. “Old Indy” didn’t bother me, I actually thought it was handled pretty well, and while Shia LeBeof isn’t my favorite (honestly, I think I just hate his name), he was OK, too.
My favorite parts were most of the ones that included Marion 
Everyone always mentions the monkeys and the refrigerator scenes as complaints of how over the top the movie is, and no mention of going over the multiple waterfalls without incident?
Oh, they’re all just alternate names for the same country anyway. You know, like Holland and the Netherlands, or China and Japan.
We were numbed to that crap after Temple of Doom.
I agree. The Aliens didn’t bother me. It was the fact that the movie just didn’t work.
That and it felt like watching pieces of 5 better movies all sewn together into some kind of frankenstein’s monster.
Every time I try to think of a realistic plot device for a new Indiana Jones movie, I can’t help but think they all sound like Dan Brown novels. Damn you, Dan Brown!
Which was the one with Sean Connery? Whichever, I sat through half the movie and he still hadn’t showed, and it was so awful I walked out on it. I almost never do that. But this was special.
Except she wasn’t. They didn’t hook up, in any way, until long after the film was released.
Knowing that, this means she was cast on some illusion of merit or ability.
I think I had more respect when I thought she was sleeping with the guy. I mean, at least that’s an explanation I can get behind.
Last Crusade.
Yes, I remember the scene where the heroes’ runaway mining-car jumps the gap in the tracks and lands cleanly on the tracks on the other side and speeds along (the baddies’ car crashes).
MY AUNT: I don’t believe it!
MY MOM: That’s the first thing you don’t believe?!
Yeah. Wow. Really? She wasn’t just there as Spielberg’s girlfriend?
Nope - can’t get my head around it. Was she sleeping with Harrison Ford?
Indiana Jones and the Prune juice of inevitability.
She was pretty funnyin the “Temple of Doom”. I’d also like to see son “Mutt” back in.
Mybe he flick could be set in the Afghanistan war (he Pentagon gets the old man out of retirement, to fnd Bin Laden). I’d call it: “Indiana Jones and the Search for Preparation H”.