I figured this was more of an IMHO than a GQ; but mods, move at will.
When addressing a formal acquaintance, is it stand-offish for me to continue to use a formal address, even after they’ve used an informal one in addressing me?
I just sent in university applications, and the first letter I got back from them was addressed to “Dear Mr. <MyLastName>”, and signed “Yours sincerely, Sophie <LastName>”. Now as it turned out, she had to ask me for some more information, and that email was addressed to Dear Dervorin; Best wishes, Sophie.
Now since I’ve never met this person, I don’t really feel comfortable addressing her as “Sophie”; seems a little flippant to me. However, do I run the risk of seeming rude if I continue to use “Dear Ms. Lastname”?
What’s the generally recommended course of action?
I work in university admissions (or ‘work’ when I’m not using the internet…) and would suggest that if she is signing off as ‘Sophie’, that is a clear invitation for you to address her as such - at least by email. Emails tend to be perceived as a more informal means of contact than letters anyway. You might want to revert to ‘Ms Lastname’ when you send something more formal which may be held on file.