Did you know that if you triple-click on a spoiler box that the entire contents show?
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[li]Mouth noises[/li][li]“Pacifically” and “supposably” for specifically and supposedly[/li][li]The way my mum stops in the middle of a thought… AND DOESN’T FINISH THE THOUGHT. It’s not a pause, it’s a full stop. “Hey, so your dad and I went to…” stop. Wait wait wait. A good thirty seconds of silence where I’m looking around trying to figure out if she’s been distracted by something. I have to ask her to finish the story. It drives me batty. [/li][li]The “Hey, it’s me” phone game. Followed by me asking “Who?” and them just saying “Jeff.” I mean, if their name is fairy uncommon, it’s cool, I only know one or two people named Ali or Marcus or Yen. But I, like most people, know quite a few people named “Jeff” or “Mike”… be more specific![/li][li] The way my boss starts every third sentence with “Well, let’s be honest here…” I’d like to assume he’s always being honest - the fact he points it out every now and then makes me wonder if he’s lying the rest of the time, or if I’m supposed to always trust anything that starts with the “honest” line, or whatever.[/li][li] America-bashing. It’s everyone’s favourite hobby at my workplace. Dear Og, you really think there’s a whole lot of difference between you and some other twenty-something university student who happens to live in Seattle? I have little in common with a Republican Christian from Texas. I also have little in common with a Conservative Christian from Alberta. Why should I pretend all Canadians are polite, well meaning, liberal leaning niceguys? Or that all Americans are right wing bible thumping war mongering asshats? I dunno if it’s some jealousy or insecurity or what - I know a tonne of great Americans, stop bashing them all just because you dislike their current president! Stupid cow-orkers.[/li][/ul]
Almost every conversation when I was in college followed this formula – and it pissed me off.
Dumb College Kid #1: Hey! What’s up?
Dumb College Kid #2: Nothing. What is up with you?
Dumb College Kid #1: Nothing.
…long pause…
Dumb College Kid #2: Oh! I shot a monkey and killed it.
WHY, oh, WHY – do people respond with, ‘nothing,’ when asked, ‘what’s up?’ and then proceed to tell you about their day/week/monkey shooting? Why can’t we skip the, ‘nothing,’ bit – when obviously, things have happened and are going to be discussed in the upcoming conversation?
Damn state schools.
No monkeys were harmed in the making of this post.
Oh, thought of another one – people who push “pull” doors and pull “push” doors. Has absolutely no effect on me personally, but it drives me batshit when I see someone do it. Quit it! Watch what you’re fucking doing! What, do you not SEE the big ass black sticker that says either PUSH or PULL right in front of you?! They put that there specifically for shitheads like you! Go home! Stay home until you can learn to operate a simple frickin’ door!