Thngs That Just Naturally Piss You Off

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ok, I thought about putting this in The Pit, but as long as the language is decent it can fit here.

Things that piss me off

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, where’s yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??

The Pillsbury Doughboy is waayy too happy considering that he doesn’t have a Penis!

People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change it manually!

When people say, “Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too.” What good is a piece of cake if you can’t eat it? What should I do, eat someone else’s piece of cake instead??

When people say, “It’s always in the last place you look.” No crap!! Why would you keep looking for it after you’ve already found it?? Do people do this?? Who and where are they??

When people say, while watching a movie, “Did you see that?”
No, I paid $7.50 to come to a theater and stare at the ceiling up there. What did you come here for??

People who ask, “Can I ask you a question?” Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

When something is “New & Improved”. Which is it? If it’s new, there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it!

When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going. “You should know, Barney You’re the one that pulled me over!”

Chain letters! Who thinks that by annoying other people with stupid mail with no meaning, that they will grant you a wish, or make your long-lost love fall into your arms. I’m so sure that by breaking a stupid chain letter that the computer gods are going to curse me!! What a crock of *&^%!!!

Actually this is a list that was sent to me by someone, but most people will agree…some things on the list piss most people off.

2

I’m trying, through the magic of medication, not to sweat the small stuff, but sometimes I feel like punching people for no reason.

  1. people who don’t have the energy to lift their feet up when they walk and just loudly shuffle along the sidewalk or whatever, flopping their shoes. grr.

  2. people who stand at the top of the escalator, looking for something or some store, not realizing they’re creating a back up.

  3. vegetarians who inform me of how horrible meat is WHILE I’M EATING IT.
    :: deep breath in::

ok, that’s better.

jar

3

I hate the feet shuffling thing too.

People that lick their fingers and smack when eating.

People that ‘hack’ and cough without covering their mouth.

People that use my phone at work when they are sick.

4

Groups of oblivious women who slowly walk abreast of one another in shopping malls, making passing them impossible. Or worse, two women with strollers (extra points for those double-wide tandem jobs).

People who will back up an entire lane in a parking lot waiting for somebody to open up their mini-van, stow their packages away, collapse their stroller, strap the kids into their car seats, etc. and vacate the parking place.

Little old women with coupons in the express lane at the gocery store.

The clerks who take the coupons anyway, despite bieng the no-coupon express lane.

Any guesses on who here’s already finished their Christmas shopping?

5

People who dont recognize a George Carlin bit when its emailed to them. =)

Rebellious teenagers who think they want Anarchy.

Finding out my deoderant sucks half way through my work day.

People who watch foreign films JUST because they’re foreign. Like being subtitled makes them somehow inexplicably superior to American films.

When the inside of my ear itches. paws at her ear

6

I do that.

And when I’m looking for scissors I make a little snippy action with my fingers. It’s like a Scissor Dance to invoke the Gods of Office Supplies.
Alex B

7

[ul]
[li]People who have start a whole other conversation while you are talking to them on the phone.[/li][li]People who put their turning signal on and go really slow trying to read the street signs, realize it’s not the street they want, but continue going really slow[/li][li]When in a rush, trying to get off the phone, and someone launches into a whole other story[/li][li]Long, rambling messages on my answering machine[/li][li]My sister, who lives next door to me, calling me as soon as I walk in the door for me to do something for her instead of giving me 10 minutes to relax.[/li][li]People who say they will show up to a gathering and then don’t without any explanation or apology afterwards[/li][/ul]

8

You know what pisses me off? the letter “U” It’s such a coniving little scum of a letter. It didn’t even start off as a real letter, it shared time with “V” but suddenly it get promoted to full letter status. And not just normal letter status but a vowel, one of the most prestigous postions there is. And how did “W” become “double U”? It’s a “double v” but somehow “U” got its name slapped on there.(Not that I think “V” was innocent in the matter, seeing as how “V” ended up with that lucrative postion in the Roman Alphabet.)
All the other vowels are happy with simple pronunciations. “A” is pronounced “Aaa” “E” is pronounced “Eee”, but is “U” pronounced “Uuu”? no its “Yuuu”. Somehow it got a “Yuh” sound from “Y” in there like it thinks it’s better than the other vowels"(Again I sence some underhanded wheeling and dealing to give Y that dual responsibility as vowel and consonant.)

Such a back-stabbing cheat of a letter, I started boycotting Sesame Street when I heard they were partially sponsored by “U”. We gotta keep our eyes on the end of the alphabet, there are some fishy things going on.

9

People who crowd up to elevator doors as if there isn’t going to be anyone inside getting out.

The twit behind me that doesn’t realize s/he is driving with the brights on - even with all of the on-coming traffic flashing at them.

The lazy pikers, in the coffee club at work, that won’t make another pot of coffee when they take the last cup.

The family strolling, five or six abreast at a sloth’s pace, through the mall, airport concourse, etc.

jarbabyj, I’m with you on that shoe scuffling thing.

10

I also hate it when people cough without covering their mouths. How about sneezing? That may be grosser! Bits of snot could fly out. Speaking of sneezing, what really bothers me is the way some people have to sneeze so loud. AHHHHHHHHHHHHCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Like my mom. She has the most masculine sneeze I have ever heard. I can hear it with my headphones on in my room! And no, she doesn’t cover her nose.

People who tailgate me when they could easily go around.

Idiots on the on-ramp who wait until the lane ends to get into traffic.

People who just have to put sound enhancers on their vehicles. We can hear the guy next door coming home from a mile away.

People who never see reason, and will never listen to anything without saying, “I’m right! I’m right! Shut the hell up, because I’m right!”

People who constantly complain about things they can’t change. I mean constantly. Every time it happens. My mom again. Complains about the guy next door and his chainsaw he has to have on. I say to her, “Why don’t you tell him that?” Silence. “I thought so.”

My mom. :wink:

11

My soon to be ex.

12

… and whatever you do, don’t get Wolfman started on his “Sans-serif Vs. Justified fonts” thing (especially when he’s been drinking.

13

People who chew with their mouths open, smacking and sucking their crud in. Good God, I have the urge to tear off their arms, and shove them so far up their asses than the runny end of the arm pokes out their shoulder sockets.

People who think they’re smart just because they watch the news, but don’t actually think about things. Yes you twit, I can spew forth what I heard on TV too, the only difference is that I know where Afghanistan is, why America is attacking them and who that guy everyone calls “President” is.

People who come to my house uninvited and don’t leave until I’m going to bed, then get all bitchy when I ask them to leave. Look buddy, I don’t want you here, I didn’t invite you here, you’re still here, and I’m going to get my baseball bat.

Along the same lines as number two, people who use words when they either a) don’t know what they mean and use them wrong or b) mispronounce them. Melee is prounouced maylay, not meelee, and no, you did not have a melee with that deer, you simply shot it while hiding in a tree, permit me to demonstrate what a melee is.

I’m with the anarchy thing too. People who want it and are serious need to look anarchy up in the dictionary (look at that, you piss me off for two reasons) If anarchy regined, my first action would be to kill you for thinking it was a good idea.

Have a nice day.

14

I hear you, malkavia. Though I want anarchy, I know what it is, and I know what I want. But I also know that it will never work, unfortunately :(. Oh well, it’s still fun to not like authority.

15

Strangers who stand two inches away from me when there’s plenty of room all around. It’s even worse when they don’t say a word. What, am I just a lamppost or something?

People who just won’t shut up already. A special note goes out to that utterly charming soul who seems to be having some sort of spat with her ex-“boyfriend…or whatever” in the middle of the hallway everyday. Give it UP.

People who just moan about how horrid their grades are and how they’re going to fail and all their college applications are going down the drain before every test in a relatively difficult class.

Overly friendly strangers. Yeah, it’s really nice that you aren’t cursing me and shoving me to the ground, but I don’t know you and don’t particularly feel like chatting with you.

People who read over my shoulder. You make me nervous. Paranoid, really. I don’t want you to read this. If I did, I would personally hand it to you. This goes double for any writing I may be doing. That is terribly personal.
jessica

16

[ul]
[li]People who insist on talking to me when I am going INTO the restroom. Hey you, you know who I am talking about don’t you. I have my hand on the door, you know the one–the one with the silhouette of a girl in a skirt. And you insist on talking to me now! I have things to do here.[/li]
[li]Those people who follow you to your car and continue to talk when you are leaving. Hey I SAID goodbye already, so let me go.[/li]
[li]The guy who stands too close behind me in a line. I don’t know you, get out of my personal space.[/li]
[li]Misplaced anger–I did not cause the problem you are in so quit getting upset at me.[/li]
[li]People who don’t get jokes, ever. These people need them explained and of course by that time there is no humor left in the joke and it only sounds lame[/li][/ul]

17

This irks me too. I am terribly paranoid about my writing, when I do it in public (like between classes). I used to write in a fancy cursive that made it harder for people to casually read it as they passed by.

18

People who snore as loud as jackhammers and then expect you to sleep in the same house as them. Also, those same people who take naps on the living room couch in the middle of the day while you’re trying to watch tv.

This really, really pisses me off, but as the Ancient Philopher What’s-his-Name said, “Tis better to be pissed off, than to be pissed on.”

19

Automotive gas fills on the passenger side. I thought all Hondas had it correct. Gas fill on the drivers side. The new Insite has it on the passenger side. I am so upset. I understand that in Japan they drive on the right, this car was built there but is for sale in the US. Oh well.

20

Depends on the day, some days things may piss me off more than others…
Drivers that take a right on red in front of you even though you are close enough to count their wrinkles…

Or, the drivers that sit at a red light waiting to take a right turn, no traffic in sight for miles. No happy medium here?

People that let their kids run loose in stores, touching everything, without even a word of admonition. Even my 2 year old knows better than to play that game.

Being told to be at an appointment early only to be left waiting for an hour.

People asking for your opinion, then getting upset with you because it wasn’t what they wanted to hear.

Other people that constantly whine about how much they hate/dislike something yet do nothing to change their lives, expecting someone (ie you) to step in and “save” them.

Setsail