Input needed (or a Birdman's dilemma)

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

I’ve got a situation, which could be called a problem. I’m in love with my best friend. She lives in another state with another guy, and her boyfriend is a guy I like a respect a lot. But I had these feelings before they met, and I’m feeling a lot of jealousy and feeling like I’m wrong for feeling that way. But it gets worse; I’m in a band with both her brother and brother-in-law (the latter being her sister’s husband). I’m lovesick–absolutely crazy over this girl that I probably can never be with. That seems really unfair and I’m very upset about that. Since my circle of friends is (unhealthily?) tight and probably a bit too close, I appeal to you, my fellow SDMB users, for any nuggets of wisdom you may be able to impart upon a dumb earnest guy motivated by questionably intelligent emotions.

Regardless, thank you for allowing me to vent on a topic unquestionably mundane and most certainly pointless. Any thoughts anybody might have are welcome and appreciated.

#2

Ok, I’m pretty new to these boards and don’t know shit but…,

Can you tell her how you feel? If she really is your friend, it probably won’t become a problem if she doesn’t feel the same way, and you both can talk through any awkwardness that arises. If she does feel the same way, you both can start working towards a future together. If it’s right, it will work out for everyone.

I had a similar situation and decided to tell my friend that I really liked her more than just “friends”. As it turned out, she wasn’t interested in taking our relationship to that level. It was important for me to tell her and it has made our friendship stronger because we really don’t have any hidden agendas. It also allowed me to move on, as it created closure in that relationship.

I don’t know if that is helpful advice, but I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

#3

Thank you for your perspective, vertigo. When I first realized that I felt more than friendship towards her, I did tell her so. And at first she reciprocated, although nothing ever actually happened. Then she moved away, and from then on stringently maintained that we were just friends. Then she met the guy she’s with now, and they are living together, about 500 miles from where I live. I thought I had gotten over it, but it seems like I haven’t. Due to the circumstances, I don’t feel like I can talk about it right now. When I can, I will.

In any case, getting this off my chest has helped enormously. Mods, feel free to close this thread.