I had a dream last night that I was tearing off bits of my clothes, dipping them in hummus, and eating them.
It sounds kind of amusing, but it wasn’t. I was so ashamed of what I was doing, but was completely out of control and couldn’t stop. I was afraid someone would see me and kept doing things like tearing bits off my sweater (a really lovely one I just got for Christmas) and then hating myself for ruining something so nice that someone had gotten me. It was awful.
Last night, we had some people over for New Year’s Eve. Mom & they were playing board games & I got very cold & tired so I got in the easy chair under a Snuggie (those things are WARM) & dozed off…
IRL 1995 I did a local video drama with a gorgeous, intelligent, funny blond with whom I was totally infatuated. She was 21, I was 33. When she figured out that while I might be creepy, I was still totally harmless & could be a pretty good poet, she accepted my crush graciously but made it clear it would not be reciprocated. She’s gone on to get married, move away, work in business. We have not had any contact in over a decade. I’ve gone on to obsess about other female friends, the most recent being a lesbian friend I’d just called the hour before to wish her Happy New Year.
I dreamed that the blond was over, not married, sitting on my lap flirting with me & when I had to get up & do something, she was literally all over me- almost like we were attached or she was incapacited without me, and I had to carry her. It didn’t get hot & heavy but it was quite pleasant.
I awoke when my above-mentioned friend called to continue our conversation. I totally did not remember the dream until later.
About four years ago I was sick with a 104º fever, and basically did nothing but sleep all day for most of a week. At some point during that week I had a dream about the future. Apparently, in the future, everyone was a T-Bone steak in a giant freezer.
This is tied for my weirdest dream ever with the one in which my mother French kissed a tarantula.
I had a magnificent one last night.
It had the feel of a late 60s, early 70s softish porn movie. You know, no background music and washed-out feeling? Anyway, it was set in Africa, and there was a white man who had a house on top of a big rock spire. The only way to get there was by trudging up to the top.
There were natives who were his servants. The man would have these huge parties, and B-list celebrities and hangers-on would show up and stay for long periods of time. There was a 17 or 18 year old girl there, dragged by her hanger-on mother, who was almost raped by Donald Pleasance. She managed to fight him off. (Oddly, in the dream, I was aware that she would later marry him.)
The spire was home to some strange antelope (or something) that was sacred to the natives that were working there. The almost-raped girl tried to steal one, and all hell broke loose.
Dream abruptly changes to current day, and I’m in it. I had somehow ended up there, but left quickly for some reason, and ended up on another, smaller spire with a huge house, and another white man and his servants. But he was bad news, and I ended up having to run away. I ended up a few miles away, hiding in a crevice of a cliff.
I ended up finding, in the cliff, a place where someone who had stayed at the first house had ended up. He wasn’t there, but the room was filled with really odd memorabilia, including things that made me think he had been very old, and Austrian. There were photos and trinkets, a sewing machine that was in a locked case (??), and lots of 60s and 70s psychedelic, soft core porn posters rolled up in huge sheets of aluminum foil.
I hid there for a while, watching people farming (??) below, and wondering if it was safe to contact them. Then my dad showed up, saying he’d been looking for me, and the rest of my family showed up. I showed them all the cool stuff in the room, and told them about the big parties at the house on the tall spire, and how the guy who’d lived here had gone to the parties and how he’d been an old Austrian. My dad found an old rifle in a corner.
Then I woke up. Too bad, it was fascinating.
I’ve been reading alot about zeppelins lately (including alternate history), and I’ve had two related dreams lately. One was just my dog playing with a zeppelin squeaky toy. The other I was in a WWII movie about an American airship sailing somewhere over the Pacific. We’d just heard about the attack on Pearl Harbor and the stewards were trying to keep us calm while we turned around and headed back toward the states. Then the IJN cought up with us and were trying to force the captain to surrender the ship. The odd thing was the whole time I was aware this was a movie. Not just because everthing was in black and white, but because I was already know the story of the American airship trapped behind enemy lines. I woke up before I found out if it was captured, shot down, or escaped.
I don’t know why this makes me laugh, but it does.
For about half of 2009, I frequently had the following recurring dreams:
[ul]
[li]My teeth were falling out. Often one tooth would fall out, usually a molar or some other tooth I figure I can live without for a while, followed by the rest or most of them once.[/li][li]I couldn’t move, or moving was extremely slow and difficult, sometimes painful.[/li][li]I couldn’t make a sound louder than a whisper.[/li][/ul]
Those have since stopped, and my dreams have returned to normal, except the recurring dream I keep having about one leg being shorter than other! What is up with that? In the most recent incident, I dreamed I was putting on my super awesome pair of champagne colored stilettos, then noticed I was off balance. My thought was to examine the shoes, then discovered the shoes weren’t the problem. The problem was my legs! I then attempted to modify the shoes to even myself out, but I’m not a cobbler and met with very little success.
Yesterday I tried on the shoes, walked around in them a but, then stood in front of the mirror just to make sure that my shoes (and my legs!) were truly even. Of course they were, but those dreams are so damn disturbing. I wish they’d stop.
Yesterday: I’m jumping from a plane in war torn France. We had to run though groups of troops to get to the thickets at the back. The on coming troops are surprised and I manage to dodge through them and head off down a rocky lane. I hide in an old mill, I think I’m hidden, but the doctor is there. He waves a black syringe at me and explains that together with the puncture wounds he’s put on my back that I will die slowly since the liquid is poison. I’m left wondering if he’s fucking with my head or not. I try to move slowly so that my body can process the poison without killing me. I haven’t had a clear dream like this for a long time. It seems to be about whether to discard information even though the source appears legitimate.
Wow. I’m actually a bit surprised by how 100% wrong that is. Usually things like that (horoscopes or whatever) are vague enough, I’m sure purposely, that anyone can grab on to at least part of the analysis, and run with it. That had nothing for me to sink my teeth into (har har). Okay, I’ll try to grasp at a straw in there somewhere.
Uhm, my job is often stifling(?).