When “Flying Purple People Eater” was released in 1958, there were a few people who were still stumbling through the new version of the Pledge. The words “under God” weren’t added until 1954. Somehow our country had managed to survive without them.
If no one taught him that America was racist, then he wasn’t reading the newspapers during the Montgomery bus boycott in 1955 or when it took the 101st Airborne to intergrate Little Rock’s Central High School in 1957. No one taught him about Andrew Jackson and the Trail of Tears, but, by damn, he knew a song called “The Battle of New Orleans”!
He’s a grown man now. What’s his excuse for not knowing these days?
There was no gangsta rap, but in the late winter of 1958 a certain infamous woman named Molly sure liked to ball. That seemed to work out nicely since only a couple of months before, Jerry Lee Lewis had “great balls of fire.”
Sure, I watched a more virtuous 17" black and white TV. I remember the Lone Ranger for more than one thing. Clayton Moore had perfect buns. And while I was enjoying the man with the silver bullet, my male classmates were watching the Mickey Mouse Club and drooling over Annette as “developments” unfolded.
Give David Kupelian a white sports coat and a pink carnation, then spin him around and let him try to pin the tail on his own asshole. Guys like that were no fun at all – not then, not now.