Inventions you have thought up in your head

  1. a little rounded bead with a tube attached that you can stick in your butt when you have gas, so that the gas can escape without the fart sound. The bead would hold it in, the tube would stick outside.

  2. a vaccuum cleaner attachment for unblocking blackheads.

  3. your turn

I have often thought about the possibility of police departments using dash cams equipped with OCR technology to scan the license plates of the cars in front of them. Once it captures the license plate number it runs a check on each one, doing this while the police officer is out on his/her rounds. If it catches someone whose plates are expired or is using unregistered plates for fictitious display, the cop could then pull that person over (unless he/she has more pressing needs to tend to). Please understand that IANA police officer and don’t really care if this gets invented or not. I just speculate that it could be implemented as we already have the technologies for such a system.

Another one I think about from time to time is a device which could record a person’s thoughts (visual and auditory) and their dreams. It would probably have to involve a system which somehow captures the brain waves that are produced from such thoughts and then converting these brain waves into a tangible form that could be seen and heard by others, and therefore could also be recorded. While this technology could be useful to people such as mental health professionals, it could also easily be misused in places such as courtrooms.

One thing I’d like to see is what I’d call a “pocket scanner.” It would be a device similar to the old hand-held scanners that could be passed across the page of a book or magazine to capture text or photos. The information could then be stored on a memory card like the ones used in digital cameras. Perhaps something like this already exists, but I have yet to see or hear of any such device.

Porn flip books. nuff said.

A theme music generator. You where it around your waist like a belt, and it plays low volume background music all the time. You can customize it with different scores, and play different music to reflect your mood.

When you scold a child, or an employee you can play something ominous for effect, or something sexy when you’re in the mood, etc.

Mustard, ketchup, &c. packaged in tubes like toothpaste.

(hey, you didn’t say GOOD inventions :slight_smile: )

I actually heard about something like this being implemented in Boston. I don’t have a cite but I heard about it on NPR (either Morning Edition or All Things Considered) sometime within the last month or two.

Oh yeah. My made up invention would a device that can turn seawater into drinkable water. The device would have to be small enough to be installed as part of a survival kit on all lifeboats.
I haven’t thought of many of the details but I imagine it would be some kind of device that filters the salt out of the water, maybe through evaporation or distillation.

I had an invention idea about 15 years ago or so. A fake car alarm panel—basically just a little box with a blinking red light that attaches to your dashboard. Makes people think you have an alarm, but no annoying false ringing in the middle of the night. Turns out someone beat me to it though. I doubt it sold well anyway.

An airbag suit - this came after a disastrous mountain bike ride one summer in New Hampshire.

Basically - you wear this suit when you are riding - the minute you hit an obstacle (rock or anything hard) it immediately inflates thus removing any likelihood of injury.

I was musing about wearable computer setups one day, and it struck me that keyboards always seem to be a sticking point. What would be the alternatives? Handwriting text recognition? Sitting around writing all day is even more tedious than typing. Voice operation? Not practical in an office environment. What we need, I thought, is some way of interpreting gestures or some other kind of motion…

And then I remembered a friend of mine who used to do T’ai Chi, which has “108 movements” - just the number for an ordinary computer keyboard. Put a few position sensors around your body, map each movement onto a keystroke, and you have… the T’ai Chi Virtual Keyboard! Combine productive office work, low-impact aerobic exercise, and self-defense training, all in one convenient package!

Brilliant, eh?

OMFG that is brilliant! I’d love to see the move for CTRL+ALT+DEL.

tevya, water makers exist in all sizes, including designed for life rafts. I’d provide a link, but since they’re commercial sites, I shan’t.

This one is easy to do yourself. I have a Logitech optical mouse. The packaging included a red blinking LED which runs off of two AA batteries. I kept the LED before throwing out the box. I haven’t put it to use yet, but I have been planning on using it for this purpose. Now I just need to find some small black plastic box of some sort that I could mount the LED in.

On my list of “Gadgets to Buy When They Become Cheaper:”
QuickLink Pen

The Internet.

I can’t remember what country I saw them in… but I’ve seen cars with bar codes on the license plate (mexico maybe?)

Oh yeah and they do have vaccume powered black head removers.

… somebody had to say it.
I have invented:

A) The personal hands-free hair dryer. You know those bowls they stick you under at salons? Like that, only instead of having to sit down, you could place it on your head. It would have braces that sit on your shoulders to keep it in place, freeing you to attend to makeup, breakfast, nails, laundry, what-have-you. Extension cords and battery packs available.

  1. The Masseusifier. A pair of gloves that send painless electric impulses into the wearer’s hands, resulting in the exact right movements to produce a lovely massage.

  2. Self-cooling/heating sheets. These would constantly monitor the sleeper’s skin temperature. The sleeper would set a preferred temperature to sleep at. The sheets would then warm up if the sleeper’s temperature dropped below the set level, or cool down if the sleeper got too warm. Perfect for fevers, colds, hot summer days and drafty rooms in winter!

My idea is for a product that would meld the best features of a GPS unit, a dive computer with an altimeter and a PDA. I’d call the product the Trip Log. You would be able to go on a wild trip that included trekking and diving and be able to have a full record of where you were (to within 3 metres). Also, you’d be able to add in personal thoughts at the moment you think of them. I think it would sell to people who are into ‘adventure’ travel, and also techno geeks who love to buy the latest gadget, not to mention the techno weenies who may currently drive a SUV that has never had any mud on it.

Would this sell?

Hrrm I’m not sure if anyone cares but I spend a part of my free time learing about high energy particles how to use/generate them for use in particle weapons :confused:

(I’ve got a note book full of various things that can be done if you can generate certain types of particle and control their behavior for limited distances)

I also amuse myself with genetic engineering.

God I’m a dork

My AIWA stereo has a detachable front panel, and when you take it off, there’s a small blinking LED light, the only purpose of which, I assume, is to emulate the security system I don’t have. But seriously, who’d want to steal my car anyway?