Neither, but she’s certainly not an entirely sympathetic character in my eyes.
Admittedly, I never did see the very beginning of Forsyte Saga, so I missed most of Soames’ courtship. I did start watching right before she accepted his proposal rather than have to work for a living. So…
She agreed to a marriage to someone she knew she didn’t like. At all. Now, I’m sympathetic to establishing some ground rules before marriage, although the nature of what she insisted on clearly established that she wasn’t giving him much of a chance.
After they were married, though, I don’t understand why she rebuffed his obvious attempts to make her happy. Granted, he’s far from the most naturally likeable guy, but man, did he go out of his way for her, without seemingly the slightest trace of appreciation on Irene’s part. Feigning passion wasn’t required, but basic politeness would suggest some recognition of his efforts. Would it be that hard to acknowledge enjoying a social activity alongside him? Later in the marriage, as Soames got increasingly desperate as to how to make the relationship work, he lost much of my sympathy, and of course the rape threw the rest out the window, but for quite some time I found him much more appealing than she was.