Avril Lavigne dies from complications due to skateboarding accident.
Michael Jackson dies from sickle cell anemia.
Cal Ripken Jr. dies from Lou Gehrig disease.
Pamela Anderson dies from brain cancer.
J is for Jenna Jameson, run over by the Oscar Meyer weiner mobile.
Kevin Smith shot by a mute that is robbing a convience store.
George Lucas beheaded via a light sabre.
Tom Cruise is trampled by a unicorn.
R is for Roger Clemens, hit by a pitch.
O.J. Simpson- slips on karaoke stage while singing “Delilah”, stabs self with conceled knife in fall.
Emil Lagasse and John Madden- Both jogging down the street, don’t see each other, and BAM!! they collide.
Michael Jackson- dropped from hotel balcony
Yasser Arafat- dies from infection in botched circumcision
Barney the dinosaur- Diabetic coma from being too sweet
NASCAR driver Dick Trickle- urinary infection
Keannu Reeves - falls off stage during acting class.
Ann or Nancy Wilson: heart attack.
Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts or Ron Wood: killed in landslide.
Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton or Larry Mullen Jr: Killed when US spy plane crashes to earth.
Michael Stipe: fatal sleep disorder
Christopher Lambert: accidental beheading
Nancy Reagan: drug overdose
Pierce Brosnan: put to death for espionage
Tipper Gore- kills herself after becoming depressed by a Barbara Streisand song.
Lol, don’t forget to sprinkle ashes into a flower patch.
All I have to add is that if Christopher Reeve is killed by a meteorite that is found to be composed of an entirely new element/substance and they don’t name it Kryptonite, the Terrorists have already won.
Nigella Lawson: salmonella poisoning, after provocatively licking one too many beaters.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: while in his Hummer, is hit on the driver’s side by… another Hummer.
Bob Dylan: accidentally electrocuted on stage. In Newport.
Darryl Strawberry/Lawrence Taylor/John Daly/etc.: passes away peacefully in bed, sober and surrounded by his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, at age 99.
James Woods: a freak on-the-set accident involving a Panavision camera.
FSU football coach Bobby Bowden: after coaching his team to a perfect season (even beating Florida and Miami – hey, this is just a ridiculous fantasy), his team winning in the championship bowl game by a last-second field goal that’s right on the money, dies of a shock-induced heart attack after he gets a 50-gallons ice-cold “Gatorade shower”.
Emeril Lagasse: chokes to death on a melted-cheese sandwich.
Joan Rivers: while grimacing her disapproval of an Oscar night fashion disaster, pops her facelift scars. Dies of blood loss and embarrassment.
prolific “speculative fiction” writer Harlan Ellison: succumbing to grievous injuries following an earthquake, in which he is pummelled and buried by a cascade of his own books as they fly off the shelves). [Actually, he had a near-miss with exactly this in the Oakland quake.]
“Carrot Top”: murdered by a jealous, obsessed stalker. (O.K., maybe that’s not ironic so much as hard to imagine.)
Michael Bolton: from complications following a hernia, from squeezing out a high note. [The Mariah Carey variation involves a brain aneurysm.]
Tom Cruise/John Travolta/Isaac Hayes/etc.: after the Engrams came back.
That soccer announcer whose gimmick is yelling “GOOOOAAAAALLLL…!”: anaphylactic shock, after deeply inhaling a bee.
Michael Flatley: flattened by a pallet’s worth of “Lucky Charms” when a high shelf collapses in a savings-club-type megastore.
James Dean dies in car accident after filming a safe-driving commercial.
Oh. Wait…wait…
:eek: You all are going to Hell.
I am not laughing. It’s not funny.
I did not just snort chamomile tea out my nose.
Damn, that hurts…
Ted would have to die from heart disease (and suffering from glaucoma), after refusing the vegetarian diet and marijuana regimen his doctors prescribed.
Pallbearers would include Paul McCartney and Keith Richards.
Michael Jackson- skin cancer (not enough melanin, ya know)
Rosie O’Donnell killed when a KMART sign falls on her car.
Stuart Townsend died of blood loss from throat wound.
John McEnroe slips peacefully into death.
He’s already been done in this thread, but I like this one better:
Keannu Reeves: No matter how many times he said “woah” that horse just never stopped.