I’m envisioning a combination thermometer/dipstick here.
“Ok. 99.1 and slimy… Yep, I’m fertile!”
Now the question arises…what do you monitor the mucus for? Volume? Clarity? Tensile strength?
I’m no expert on welfare in NY state, but I can say one thing. My sister in law WAS very similar to the OP family. She has three kids, they live in absolute filth, and every extra penny she comes up with goes to buying smokes or junk. (She has actually called us asking for money for “milk for the kids” when what she wanted was cigarettes). We’re talking lice infested, Social Services investigated, neglectful filth. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked her point blank why- since she doesn’t work all day long and her kids are in school- she can’t pick up the damned filthy house or wash some laundry. I never get an answer, just shrugged shoulders and complaints about how damned lazy the kids are. She has been collecting welfare, medicaid, and food stamps for 17 years. (since the first kid was born)
She is in no way physically disabled or unable to work. Social Services has never asked her to seek employment…
…until a few years ago when NYS passed new welfare reform. I am unsure of the details, but whatever the stipulations were, she now gets her ass out of bed in the morning and goes to work in a local factory. I believe they were going to cut of her benefits completely if she didn’t. So she bitches and whines about it, but the bottom line is this:
They threatened to take away her income, so she had to get a job. It worked! She still gets some assistance, (which is great- I have NO problem with someone getting help when they need it) but the years of living off the system are officially over. I for one and thrilled. My husband and I always told her that we would help her when she helped herself, and we are going through with that promise by providing small amounts of money to hold her over until payday, a grocery store gift certificate sometimes and just some small stuff to make it seem worth working. She has since started keeping herself and her home a little better, and her self esteem seems a lot better.
Zette
FWIW, this is just ONE experience. I don’t mean to imply that this works for everyone.
This thread got me wondering about the official rules for using food stamps. I started a thread over in GQ: Food Stamps: What can and can’t you buy?.
If you have any input, please come on over and reply. Thanks.
I always try to put these things in terms of dogs. Dogs have been partners of the human race for along time, and they have taken on a lot of human characteristics good, and bad.
I’ve certainly known some dogs who were better “people” than a lot of people I’ve met.
Dogs though, aren’t that smart. They need us to take care of them because they are into immediate gratification, and aren’t capable of long-term planning.
We take care of them (or don’t) and make decisions concening there welfare, simply because WE CAN, and it is intrinsically obvious that we can do a better job of it than they.
We need to recognize that this can be true of some people as well.
Some people are animals. They are not worth any more simply because they are “human animals.” I actually think the opposite is true.
A child who is neglected as an infant and during its early years is gonna have a tough go of it no matter what. People that neglect their children are worse than animals, and I would contend that they ARE worthless.
I think that the degree of economic freedom conveyed to “welfare families,” by our government is out of proportion to their demonstrated ability to handle it.
I would favor a “halfway house” sort of approach where these people could be taught basic socioeconomic skills like balancing a checkbook, keeping your house clean, and your children clothed, and such.
Participation in such a program should be mandatory for career welfare recipients.
These people won’t learn these things by themselves. We need to teach them. Failing that we need to control them.
So, Phil, did you actually read the entire thread, or did you read the first post, work yourself into an uptight, self righteous rage, and then click “Reply” so you could open your mouth and let the mouth-poo fall to the keyboard with a ‘splat’ as it splattered onto the keys, leaving the reply as such?
From my third post, mental giant.
Happy? Shut up.
–Tim
and you finally threw in the towel in disgust.
I guess it’s too easy for us who are just reading posts to make judgement calls. You are the only one among us who was actually there.
How much contact have you had with these people lately? You probably said, but I can’t remember (sorry, I’m old).
I hope you will someday have a significant other who appreciates you and gives you the love you deserve.
Thanks, Spidey, you’re a sweetie. I sure hope I do, too.
I haven’t really been around them for about… uhm… I’d say five months, and I pretty much broke off complete contact about three or four months ago.
Spider woman, spider woman
Does whatever a woman can
Cooks a meal, any size
catches men, just like flies
Watch out!
Here comes the spider woman!
That’s been running through my head ever since I saw your name. It’s tongue in cheek, don’t be offended. 
–Tim
. . . you should try your hand at limericks at http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35381 this thread. (This is the first link I have ever posted; haven’t figured out how to make it shorter yet)
Your verse is pretty tame compared to what’s going on over there. (And I should mention I’m a terrible cook.)