I pit my fiances white trash dads girlfriend

Heres the deal:

She quit working because WELFARE pays her more to stay at home with her five kids than to work. Only three of them actually live with her and the others live with friends of theirs. Not only does this piss both my fiance and I both off, but it should piss everyone who pays taxes off.

I cannot blame her, I guess, but yes I fucking can. You are a perfectly ABLE BODIED person and should do something to improve your lot in life. Not only are you pathetic for living off the hardwork of others, but your house is a disaster. The fish in the tank swim in brown water; one dies about once a week and soon you will have none. The tank smells up the entire house and it is only a 20 gallon tank. The dishes are piled sky high and you force your daugthers to them even though you are at home ALL DAY LONG.

When we go to your trailer (nothing against people who live in trailers) it is a health risk to eat there. The “clean” dishes are always spotted with old food and your cooking is terrible.

  1. Your trailer is cock roach infested
  2. All the dirty clothes that are piled in every room I am almost sure are infested with brown recluse spiders.
  3. You do not make your children bathe regularly.
  4. You allow them at a very young age to dress like complete harlots, so you are practically begging to be a grandmother.
  5. Your husband (my fiances dad) works 70 hours a week and you expect him to do every repair around the house; even if the repair is hooking up your dvd player to the T.V.

My Og, I could go on and on. Why does the state allow you to even draw welfare? You are not handicapped, unless you count being 300 lbs handicapped. I’m just seething mad at you. You chain smoke around your children and your voice is practically deeper than mine (I’m a male, with a very deep voice). Your daughter had emergency back surgery for some kind of spine problem and you were given specific instructions by the doctor to not smoke around her, yet you do. The surgery was paid for by the system, which is fine, she is only a child; but must you smoke so she has some more complications that we are forced to pay for?

Fucking shit lady, get it together. If it were not for my fiance and I your children would have had the worst Christmas of their lives. We did not spend a fortune but we got them a lot of useful things…and your children are wearing clothes that my girlfriend (very small and petite) gave to them. Is there anything you do to make your life worth living? It seems to me you just take up space and a lot of it.

I could go on and on, please tell me others agree with me, and if not, why. I’m so tired of this women. Is she to blame or is the system…my goodness…I’m pissed.

Some people are experts at working the system to their advantage.

Any chance that a phone call to CPS might be in the children’s best interest? Normally I wouldn’t recommend such an extreme course of action, but it doesn’t sound like a very healthy environment for them, especially if you observe or suspect physical abuse.

If you reported her to a child services group, do you think that would improve the quality of their life? It sounds like she’s putting the children in danger with those living conditions; my advice–and granted, I know nothing about the situation other than what you wrote–is to either step up and lay down the law to her, report her to some kind of an organization, or completely wash your hands of the situation and get over it.

The children are not physically abused. My fiance is a juvenile officer and she would report this IMMEDIATELY if she thought this was happening.

Reporting her to some organization would completely turn her father against me and really ruffle some feathers in the family. The children are in no true danger; other than the fact they live in a filthy house with a poor mother and role model.

I have washed my hands of it by not going to their house. It still just irks me and I needed some place to vent.

you can report it without giving your information. If they ask if you reported it - lie & say you didnt. Act dumb and noone will be any the wiser. You can even report it online.

The mother might be suffering from depression and may need medical help - you could also indicate that.

Don’t believe everything people say about welfare. I’d bet real money that she got fired from her job and “I quit because welfare pays me more” is a convenient excuse. She may even be telling herself that.

And people wonder where stereotypes come from…

Since TANF (post-Welfare Reform welfare) mandates that one can’t receive assistance for more than two years at a stretch, and no more than five years lifetime, Ms. Trailer-Trash might wind up in trouble later if she burns through too much of her eligibility too early in life.

I agree that unless she was working a tip job, part time for minimum wage or in commission only sales it’s very unlikely that she gets more collecting welfare than working, and I agree with Manda JO that it might be a convenient excuse after losing her job in a less than pleasant fashion.

I’d also back off of the disabilities angle. If she’s not working, she probably doesn’t have easy access to healthcare and she doesn’t sound like the sort of person who has annual checkups, and she could easily be walking around with several ailments (high blood pressure, poor insulin management/pre-diabetes, hypothyroid) that, if treated, would give her more energy and ability. Couple those with a higher than average tolerance for clutter/uncleanliness and some depression and you get a recipe for a dirty house and poorly “managed” kids.

And I can tell you from experience, having a dirty house is, in itself, tiring and depressing. Nothing drains energy quite the same way as looking around your house and thinking “Good lord, how am I ever going to clean this up?” You don’t have people over because your house is a wreck, so you isolate yourself and that’s even more depressing, so you do even less around the house. It becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.

This woman needs help. Why not say to her, “Hey, lady, how about if me, and fiancee come over this weekend, and we help you and fiancee’s dad and the kids tackle getting your kitchen together, and the laundry mountain and getting the trailer cleaned up. We know it’s a daunting task, but if we all work together we can get everything ship-shape and maybe get the bug problem under control so that you can all be comfortable. Sound like a plan?”

And just out of curiosity, if she’s married, or long-term coupled with fiancee’s dad, why is he off the hook for the situation around the house and with the kids? Are these not his kids? Does he not bear some responsibility there too?

I thought the same, and also wondered why she was entitled to welfare if her husband works 70 hours a week. This would be impossible in our (socialist, as many of you believe) society.

My best friend’s sister is on welfare. She’s getting 2800$ a month (which she does not pay any taxes on) and free health care through CHIP for her kids in an economically depressed area. She has never had a job for more than 6 weeks, and does not have a high school diploma. She is 22 and has 3 kids, ranging in age from 2 to 5 years, but only two of them live with her.

And yet people like my friend’s sister are professional benefit receivers. The last time she had a job, it was part time, and she was still receiving benefits. She’s been receiving benefits continuously since she was 17 years old.

Wow. It’s rather amazing that, knowing what you do, you’re advocating teenage promiscuity in the GD thread.

Well, either her benefits are about to run out, or it’s something other than “welfare” that’s been providing those benefits.

Good plan.

Exactly, and thanks for the cite. There are a lot of people that live on low-level illegal activity–selling dope or running scams and use welfare as a cover story. Other people don’t understand their own benefits–they are getting social security disability, for example, which is not welfare, but they just call it welfare. Catsix, somebody is misrepresenting something to you about the lady you are talking about–CHIP programs cover very low income children on a sliding scale, but children in families with no income qualify for medicaid.

Instead of turning her into CPS, make an anonymous call to the welfare office on how she’s receiving benefits for children not in her household and/or about how there is income stemming from the bf’s 70 hour/week job.

Regarding time limits on TANF - if the person has medical issues, mental issues, or learning disorders the state can extend benefits, but it’s usually in conjunction with some sort of training program or additional work required by the applicant.

I like this idea. But then again, I wouldn’t have to help clean it up.

Best leave white trash to themselves.

That pretty succinctly sums up what I was about to say. I don’t think this woman needs offers of cleaning and help, and you can’t help people who won’t help themselves. This is the life she’s made for herself; she’s getting something out of it. Sorry about your fiancee having such a negative step-motherish figure in her life, jeredc.

Some people can’t help themselves. Some people get in so deep that they can’t find their own way out. Some people get paralyzed by the enormity – or even their perception of the enormity of the task of making things right and don’t know how to even begin to help themselves.

Thank G-d for people whose compassion runs stronger than to say “oh, she won’t help herself, forget her.” Especially in cases like this where there are kids involved who need and deserve the adults around them to do something to make things better for them.