What types of places do you go to with these folks instead?
All seafood restaurants that I have gone to offer other dishes. Usually quite good since they KNOW that their are people that may not like seafood. Don’t know much about Indian places, there aren’t any around here. I find it hard to believe that you know that many adults that will only eat ‘childrens’ food.
This really curtails your ability to enjoy the restaurants that you want to visit? How often?
And can certainly believe in ethnic restraunts that only serve ethnic food. This goes double if you actually travel to the other country first.
And of course, it will kill Dio if he can’t bring is friends along when he gets his curry fix. Any restraunt that stoops to serving a steak isn’t good enough for him - because he’s not picky.
(Keeping in mind of course, there is picky and there is picky - if a person flatly refuses to eat a similar hamburger because it’s called a Whopper instead of a Big Mac, there really ought to be a good reason - like having found foreign matter in them in the past, or something. Not just the different name.)
If I go out with someone, suggest Whoppers, and they say “No, I’d prefer a Big Mac”, and we get Big Macs instead, that’s fine. I’d expect, though, at some point they would return the favor and acquiesce to the preferences of their friend/roommate/co-worker by going out for Whoppers. It might get a little old after the 20th time, if they are totally unwilling to go out for a slightly different type of burger.
Particularly if you enjoy such person’s company otherwise, such situations can be a real drag, since going out to eat with them always means indulging their preferences, and strongly suggesting otherwise (apparently) means you are forcing your preferences on them.
I had a much longer post typed up basically saying the same thing, but deleted it on preview, in favor of just seconding what Algorithm said.
The acquaintance I mentioned in my prior post is like this. 100% of the time that we dine out together, it has to be a restaurant of her choice. She has literally four restaurants that she will eat at. Two are steakhouses, one is a pizza place, and one is a chain Mexican restaurant. I don’t mind eating at these places sometimes, or even most of the times that we go out, but 100% of the time is a bit much. This person is completely unwilling to compromise, and any suggestions of different restaurants, no matter what cuisine, are met with, “I don’t like weird food.”
We don’t go out to eat with each other much anymore because of this, which is a shame, because I like socializing with her, but I got tired of “I don’t like weird food” always, constantly winning out over, “I’m tired of the same boring restaurants.”
If you aren’t being a pain in the ass or hindering anyone else’s ability to have a good time, then I don’t have a problem with you.
It ends up being places like Appleby’s, or Old Chicago or Olive Garden. The standard pasta and grill places, or pizza places or family places.
I was being sarcastic about the seafood places, but I’ve been out with groups where people have refused to go to any sort of Asian place, for instance – no Thai, no Chinese, no Indian, no sushi – nothing more ethnic than Italian (and by Italian, they mean Olive Garden) because they don’t trust that they can find anything they would like on the menu.
I was also being sarcastic with the phrase “children’s food.” I was using those words to refer to the kind of safe, bland, non-threatening staples that picky eaters eat. They eat the same things my children eat.
How often is often enough to matter? It’s probably a couple of times a year. Is that enough. My wife and I rarely ever go out to dinner, so when we do, it would be nice if we could sample something of the wide variety of Twin Cities metro grub than just lowest common denominator chain restaurants.
So. You need to speak up.
Eh. I don’t complain about cooking seafood for my Wife or going to the Denver Fresh Fish Company twice a year (it’s a hundred mile trip one way). What, really are you complaining about?
Sheeessss… If you want to go to a restaurant that you know some people don’t enjoy, invite them, but tell them WHERE YOU ARE GOING. They can decline. They can even look up the restaurant’s menu on line.
If it’s the gang THAT MUST BE INVITED, AND YOU ARE IN CHARGE, and some people have aversions to some dishes, find a GOOD restaurant that has something called variety. That is called being a good host.
Or you can just not invite the ultra-picky eater. As Dio says, why should everyone have to eat at a “bland” restaurant because one person doesn’t won’t eat Chinese/Indian/Seafood/etc under any circumstances whatsoever?
As he points out, the ultra-picky eater will generally* never go to the “unusual” restaurant, which forces the “Good Host” to rearrange the dining plans for everyone to cater to one person. And just because a restaurant has variety doesn’t make it “Good”.
*Yes, I realise that you, the SDMB denizen, are super-special and tolerant and understanding and will gladly and willingly; nay, will actively suggest that you and your friends go to restaurants serving food you don’t like because you’re just the most awesomest person in the universe. Normal people aren’t like that, though.
Nah - I’m not going to make an issue out of it. Generally if we are together it will be at food courts, where I order what’s I want, an her orders what he a wants.
The only way it was noticeable yesterday was because we were being hosted at a 7 course media luncheon - and he only ate like three out of the 7 dishes served.
He was ok - can always eat later, and I enjoyed the beef that he didn’t eat (it was yummy). But what probably bugged me the most, was that our host now feels bad, and will remeber him (in, more than likely a negative way) when they were actually serving a pretty damn tasty meal.
FWIW also, the Muslem sitting beside me and the Indian sitting opposite ate every dish on the menu
You don’t need to “prove” it, I am just totally mystified as to what would be in every variety of seafood that would make you allergic.
Shell fish, as a subset of “ocean food” I can understand, all Crustaceans, and for specific species of fish I can get.
To come and say though, “I can’t eat anything from the ocean” I just can’t wrap my head around. I can’t get what sort of biological mechanism would mean that you CAN’T (as opposed to don’t want to) eat fish.
And if you are telling me 'I don’t LIKE any seafood, then my immediate rejoinder is that you need to try it prepared different ways, or by different cooks. There is just such a massive variety of tastes and methods of preparation that to come and say “I don’t eat” is incomprehensible to me. It is some form of stupid egocentrism (to me anyway) that a person would make such a silly declaration.
Hehe - for my first two months here all I ate was either chicken rice or combination rice (all the dishes are on display in a steamer, you point at what you want)
Why?
For a few reasons
Sorry I wanted to address this also (multi quoting is beyond my skills)
As a host, I do feel guilty and bad if I see someone not eating - whether they care or not, is beside the point. I feel bad that I didn’t do better.
Also, when I met my wife my tastes were, hmm, sheltered - a good meal would have been a steak restaurant. I had eaten chinese, japanese and the like before, but it was more along the lines of “lets try this weird restaurant as special thing” rather than normal dining.
Even with this background, I NEVER went to any ethnic restaurant with her in New Zealand (and we visited all the “proper” Chinese places) that there wasn’t at least something on the menu that was to my tastes (it was still exotic, and unless it was ordered for me, or explained to me I wouldn’t have taken it) - but the upshot is, that it was to my tastes, even if I was “scared” of it
Now living in Singapore, I can still only recall ONE restaurant where I didn’t like anything on the menu - and that was a full vegetarian charity event where they had like three dishes on offer.
Fine, don’t invite them. As I said, if you want to go to a specific restaurant, tell people where you are going and ask if they want to come. This should not be that difficult. If Aunt Martha from Iowa is in town, it would be considerate of you to suggest a place that she might enjoy. I guess that’s your call. But I never suggested that you have to go to a bland restaurant.
Where did I say that restaurants that have variety make it good? Though there are plenty of restaurants (at least where I live) that offer excellent food AND variety.
And I still wonder why having someone else order a chicken or a vegetarian meal is a problem for you. You don’t like it? Why is that your business?
The normal people I hang out with are. I swear, I have never come across the type of picky eaters that are described in this thread. I really think that the folks that will eat anything are blowing it way out of proportion.
You think the host feels bad because someone didn’t eat everything at a business luncheon that featured seven courses?
I am not allergic to seafood as far as I know. In any case I don’t break out in a rash or anything. As I have said, I have tried many different types of seafood prepared many different ways. It all has the same underlying flavor that I do not enjoy. That you don’t understand that there are people that have different tastes than you is what is incomprehensible and egocentric (to me anyway).
Don’t mischaracterise what I said.
But for the reading and reason impaired.
See the difference there.
If you still don’t get it…
You know, that you have to resort to deliberately skewing Martini’s argument shows a very big weakness in your own position.
Where did he say that he gives a crap about what someone else orders from the menu?
I know that I give less than two hoots what you order.
The problem arises when a “lesser” restaurant has to be chosen to accomodate the “needs” of the picky eater. The picky eater invariably “needs” to go to an inoffensive, well known, and generally less “fun” restaurant to cater to their eating pecularities. This is the definition of picky eater. And for the record, this is why a generally don’t like to eat at Muslem places - Halal food tastes just fine, but the “good”* places are much harder to find simply because, with the restrictions, it is harder to cook good halal food.
Its the same with the picky eater - finding “good” food for them is harder because of the restrictions they place - its a net loss for everyone else.
*at least to my palate
(I guess ‘like 3’ = ‘only 2’. OK, I sure wouldn’t want to mischaracterize what you said. No matter, guess I’m being picky.
)
In any case, Umm… No. Especially not at a catered business lunch. It most certainly does not put the host in a bad light. It makes the picky eater look just that. Nothing more. You’re reading way too much into this. This did not affect anyone but the person that chose to eat only two items. If many people only ate two items, that would reflect on the host.
Oh, and comparing this to dangerous driving is not doing anything for your argument. That’s just silly. :rolleyes:. Reason impaired indeed.
Matini said that it would be difficult to organize a business lunch with your co-worker. I suggested that this person could order chicken or eat vegi. Any half way decent restaurant will at least offer a vegi dish. And almost certainly a poultry meal. I am not suggesting KFC for a business lunch.
Matini then went on to say that where he lives, you get tired of chicken and vegi is unsatisfying or not considered a meal.
So what? He doesn’t have to order it. Why does he care what ‘picky’ co-worker orders? I asked him about this in post 217, and he did not respond or try to clarify.
Where I live, the majority of restaurants are not chains. We do have one Ruby Tuesday. There is no lack of good restaurants that offer a wide variety. This is a resort area, and restarurant competition is fierce. Perhaps that’s the difference we are having.
I personally don’t care what (hypothetical) you order in a restaurant. What I care about is having to go to the same smegging restaurants because you won’t eat anything at the restaurants I might want to go to. So I’m stuck going to That Bistro Near The Post Office (You Know The Place) again for a business lunch, because you won’t eat anything else. That’s where the problem is. Why should I compromise every. single. time because you’re convinced all Japanese food is sushi and you hate seafood, or Indian food is made entirely of burning fire-spice, or Middle Eastern food is comprised of goat’s eyeballs, figs, and sand?
Sadly, work is not always enjoyable.
How often are you forced to go on these business lunches? Sounds like the Bistro is probably a good compromise and is a sound business decision. And your company picks up the tab, right? Seems silly to complain about it.
TYou do know that large business lunches here tend to be set menu, multi course affairs right? Of all the lunches I have arranged for media (I am a Public Relations consultant) NONE have been ala-carte. All have been from a set menu arranged ahead of time.
And yes, in an Asian context it does look bad on the host as well as the guest - the host for being so thoughtless and the guest for being so crass.
Also, from the business lunches I have, judgements are made on the meal - for catering to the guest, and their tastes you score very definite points (I am talking business lunch, not team lunch).
And yes. it was part of my job to know the various tastes of the guests, and provide something that was “good” for everybody. If I ever catered a meal where more than half of the courses weren’t eaten by even one guest I would have been in trouble.
Nobody’s “forced” to go to lunch with their co workers on a regular basis, but it does suck to have to choose between:
[ul]
[li]Never go out to lunch with co workers[/li][li]Look like a dick to Mr. or Ms. Picky and invite everyone except them (or have to say “no, you can’t go” when they express interest)[/li][li]Do what Mr. or Ms. Picky wants, every single time[/li][/ul]