Well, “the values of my ancestors and family” include homophobia, jingoism, and a belief that one “shouldn’t date Coloreds because then nobody would know what race your little pickaninnies would be…” (I am NOT exaggerating here).
So I’m content with having the personality type where I’ll have better values and better furniture than my grandparents.
Maybe you’re all focusing on the value of items too much. I’m terribly sentimental, so perhaps I’m biased on the subject, but it’s the handmade things, or gifts, or things that represent a holiday that matter more to me.
I have my Great Grampa’s chest of drawers and a little steps tool that he made by hand. I’m so proud of that! It’s no work of art but he built his own house and furniture!!! Wow!
I have the balls of yarn and the half finished afghan he was last making. Everyone in the family has at least 3 or 4 of them, he made so many. But this one seems to have his hands on it when I touch it, as if he has just now set it down.
I have my Gramma’s gravy boat. It doesn’t match but I use it every holiday myself now. It’s like inviting her for dinner too.
I have my parent’s first Christmas ornaments. Silver/white glass balls in a little kraft colored cardboard box. She was going to toss them because the silver paint was tarnished and chipped off and the poor box is falling apart. They got them the first Christmas they were married. So they’ve been on every Christmas tree I’ve ever had. I still use them every year.
I have the opposite problem most of you do. I have heirlooms I treasure but we couldn’t have children, and it’s a small family, so I have no one to pass them down to.
My mom hand knit baby dresses, coats, hats, and sweaters for me until I was 3. She has them in her cedar chest and they’re adorable! What am I to do with them?
I have my Great, Great Grandfather’s bible with penciled notes in the margins. I can’t just toss that in the trash? It’s from the 1800’s!
I have a sister-in-law with heavy hoarding tendencies, only partially kept in check by her husband. She gets just fucking insane over anything thrown out at their (still living) parents’ house, down to an old broken sled that stayed in the rafters of the garage for decades. She goes all “OMG those are memories and heirlooms!!” and everyone else just rolls their eyes.
My father-in-law has been handing off small items to his kids. My husband got what he wanted, two beer steins. Unfortunately, he also gave us a set of silverware with a “ha ha, don’t tell your sibs because they’ll hate you!” attitude as he did so. We already told two of them that we have it (no one remembers this stuff), and I’m not very fond of it - it feels very thin, and it’s silver-plate. Once his parents pass away, we’re just going to give it up to whoever in the family wants it.
I was the oldest grandchild in my generation. When I graduated from high school my grandmother gave me a flower vase. When she graduated from high school it had been given to her by a cousin. Simple, clear glass with flowers etched onto it.
When my cousin’s oldest daughter(oldest great-grandchild) graduated from high school I passed it on to her. To me it’s keeping a tradition going, and the memory of my grandmother, whom I loved more than almost anyone else.
The loving cup I have from the days when my family owned slave based plantations in the Caribbean and South America (with another branch owning slave based plantations in what is now the USA) reminds me of the dichotomy of having family who really were all that, but only at the expense of enslaving others and subjecting them to egregious fates. It’s interesting to read about what went on then, and try to recognize that there are different values in different times, for there is no way to rationally reconcile that good people were doing evil things without recognizing it That got me thinking about how ethical dichotomies are part of out culture too (for example, good people opposing same sex marriage or adoption, or opposing a living minimum wage), which in turn got me thinking about what beliefs I hold that to me are all well and fine that a more advanced culture would find morally repugnant (for example, eating meat).
I have a grandfather’s clock that belonged to my grandfather. My Grandparents bought it for each other in 1911 as a wedding present. I used to help him wind it every Sunday after church. The weights powered it for 8 days. I also have two portraits of my great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather and grandmother that were painted circa 1821 when they married. I don’t know that the number of “greats” there is correct; in fact it’s likely there should be only 3, but that’s just what all of my cousins and I called them.
Our son will get these. Since he has no children and isn’t married, there is a reasonable chance he will have no heirs to pass them on to and he has already asked what he should do. They will go to my brother’s son who is also currently childless, but still in his low 20s so more likely to have heirs. They will mean a lot to my son as he’s grown up with them as I did. I’m not sure if they will mean so much to my brother’s son who didn’t see them except when quite young at my parent’s house. My brother of course knows them well.
Thanks for your thoughts everyone, its always useful to learn what other people think. Some of the ideas expressed have occurred to me already and I’m adjusting my expectations accordingly. For example I have a 1985 BMW motorcycle which I was going to give to my son in about 10 years time. After talking to him about it I’ve decided to sell it instead.
I do have a 1970 Chryster Valiant car which my father purchased new (Plymouth Fury in USA) Chrysler Valiant - Wikipedia so there is a family history there. He can have that in due course if he wants it and is still in NZ.
Having chewed over the various above comments I’ve decided as follows:
[ol]
[li]Ask each child if they actually want the item[/li][li]Pass on whatever there is during my lifetime - but that will be 15 - 20 years ahead.[/li][li]Pick out small items and write down their history. Eg. Krugerrand pendant Dad bought for Mum in South Africa on their single world trip in 1977.[/li][li]Sell other items when they no longer give me pleasure or don’t fit in the house.[/li][li]If I find a deserving person who has an affection for something, pass it on to them. There are a few cameras which would interest an enthusiast.[/li][/ol]
I realise that not everyone has emotional and sentimental attachment to “stuff” but I do and indeed enjoy antiques. Its nice to think some items will still be held by family members in 100 years.
And yes FairyGodMom, there is a Singer treadle sewing machine not far from this very chair. 
Yah well, I bought an heirloom-quality rocking chair. Amish style, very simple and solidly assembled wood- something a guy my size can sit in and read a book. I have one. Not sure if anyone will want it.
I would want my grandmother’s bongos. Maybe her atlases. Not much else though. I’d probably take her rocking chair though, if only for sentimental reasons.
Since I started the thread it behoves me to give examples.
There are three wind-up mantle clocks, all in working order.
Two Singer tredle sewing machines - oak and a hardwood
A 19thC kauri dressing table
An oak revolving bookcase with lectern
An ordinary glass cabinet with geology samples for my daughter
A teak bookcase
Two large rimu bookcases
plus tools and bric-a-bac which will appeal to those who understand it.
Ah…its a bit sad the kids do not share my appreciation for fine workmanship but to be fair we’ve concentrated on education and fostering their talents. Maybe I should make an effort and explain the old stuff to them.
Ken001, I’d appreciate the teak bookcase!
Hijack: there are more tigers in Texas than in the wild. Your daughter may end up closer to home than you think.
It goes back to the family of the goblin who made it.
Get your mom to write the names on the back of the photos. It might be a fun project for her.
If you can, pass them on to relatives who might want to scan and upload them to Ancestry.com or Facebook - people ther seem to love finding old photos to add to their tree - no matter how remote a relative.
I belong to a hometown Facebook group and most of this 19th century photos being shared are unknown since no one ever recorded the names…
You could always tell your heirs that whoever doesn’t move halfway around the world gets top pick of what you leave behind. Of course they may take that to mean they need to move far away so as not to get stuck with your “junk” 
not saying your heirlooms are junk, just the old one man’s treasure, etc…
When my Aunt passed on recently, she left me a few items specifically: a couple of pictures, some books, and her mantle clock. She knew I liked these items–I had enjoyed them since I was a small child, visiting her house–and so, she specifically left them to me in her will.
I don’t know what they would mean to anybody else. Likely nothing. But they are at my house now, and I continue to enjoy them. Thank you, Auntie!
I think that there will always be some people who will be happy to take their relations’ stuff, BUT it might not be huge stuff or heavy furniture. Instead we’ll take the quilts, jewelry some books, and smaller things.
My grandmother moved from a house to a nursing home, and in the process she forced my mother to take her dining room table. My mother thinks it’s ugly, but who wants to start a fight with an elderly mother? So she’s stuck with this ugly table until grandma is gone. Luckily I live in a different city, so there’s no chance that it’ll get passed on to me.
That’s why God created tablecloths.
At one point I had many things of my grandmother’s: I moved back to my hometown penniless and 8 months pregnant, just shortly after she went into a long term care facility. Over the years I downsized many of the things, but have kept a very few special things, and of course I “have” her china (stored at my parents’ place) and her silver. I have kept her favourite print (it may be a cheap poster for all I know) of The West Wind, which has special meaning to her, (She was part of the first graduating class of her high school and her class gave a print to the school) and I love Tom Thomson and the Group of Seven. I also have a tiny brass trinket box that sat on her dressing table. Those two little things, and a tin tea box keep her memory with me more than anything else.
I had wanted to keep an oak table from the summer cottage (Muffin knows its a camp) but I moved across the country and made my peace with that. I had wanted to keep the doll house my Grandfather hand built for me, but I have only the one child, a boy, and again, I moved across the country. I wanted his barometer but my Dad isn’t ready to part with that yet.
When I sold my stuff to move across the country last year I had a hard time unloading the big stuff. I did have my maternal Grandfather’s oak desk from when he worked at the local phone company, he got it when he retired. I gave it to my cousin, who’s father did a lot for my grandparents. I didn’t think it was right to sell it, and I wanted my cousin who is about 17 years younger than I am, to have this part of family history. His first response when he saw it…“Oh… that’s a lot… Bigger…than I thought.”