Is candy sweeter than religion?

Great Debates
1

After debating the merits of God versus the merits of M&Ms, I am beginning to lean towards the conclusion that M&Ms are truly superior. Consider the following:

  1. No one has ever killed a fellow man over M&Ms. Fans of “Plain” M&Ms do not institute jihads or cleansings of those who prefer “Peanut” M&Ms.
  2. Wafers, unlike M&Ms, contain no peanuts or chocolate
  3. M&Ms cost considerably less than certain religions (e.g. Scientology)
  4. M&Ms have never set back the course of science by squelching scientific theories that did not agree with the M&M doctrine.
  5. No one has ever had to re-examine their faith in M&Ms after discovering that their wife/husband/dog/goldfish had been killed in a senseless manner. (Unless they choked to death on M&Ms, of course)
  6. The existence of M&Ms can be proven (Unless you’re an idealist, in which case nothing can be proven)
  7. You will not go to Hell if you fail to eat M&Ms correctly.
  8. You do not need to mutilate your genitals, observe specific holidays, perform special ceremonies, or wear special clothing to enjoy M&Ms.
  9. No one tries to sell you “special miracle M&Ms” for “$39.95 a bag in 3 easy payments” on late-night television.
  10. M&Ms promote sharing and racial tolerance (M&Ms come in many colors) although some troublemakers have tried to split the M&M community by spreading fallacies such as “the green ones make you hyper”

So perhaps the real great debate is not: “Does God exist?” but rather: “M&Ms or Butterfinger?”

Please add your thoughts on the subject.

2

On the other hand, God won’t rot your teeth.

3

I haven’t seen an M&M or any candy for that matter marching with “God Hates F**s” signs.

4

Well, I suppose it’s never to late to start the United Chocolaterian Church…

5

M&M’s don’t work in mysterious ways.

Two guys can eat M&M’s together (or two girls, for that matter).

You can eat M&M’s on any day of the week.

6

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Outrider *
**After debating the merits of God versus the merits of M&Ms, I am beginning to lean towards the conclusion that M&Ms are truly superior. Consider the following:

  1. No one has ever killed a fellow man over M&Ms. Fans of “Plain” M&Ms do not institute jihads or cleansings of those who prefer “Peanut” M&Ms.

[quote]
**

Sugar was one of the big reasons the slave trade flourished here in the new world. Harvesting sugar cane required a great deal of labor. On top of that you have to process the stuff almost immediatly after harvest lest it go bad.
Far be it from me to say that candy was the cause of human misery. But sugar was like a drug to europeans and they were willing to do whatever it took to get it. Heck, try going for a whole day without eating something with sugar in it.

Marc

7

LOL!

8

Ive killed over 2 people over M&Ms, milk chocolate not plain

9

From Asmodean:

That may be so, but your very screen name marks you as a follower of one of the greater demons of the third cadre of the Seventh Circle of Perdition (if I’m recalling my old Dungeonmaster’s handbook correctly), so we have to consider the source. . .

10

Not only does the prview function not preview the post subject: line, it also doesn’t accept vB codes.

Sorry about the ugly subject line, all.

Live and learn.

11

Come to think of it, I’ve never had people show up at my doorstep trying to convince me to try their M&Ms…

A conversation with Jehova’s Witnesses:
“Have you found Jesus, my son?”
“No. Why? Did you lose him?”

And speaking of people showing up at your doorstep, there actually is one holiday associated with M&Ms: Halloween :slight_smile: