I don’t know what the actual degrees of hoarding behavior expression are, but my dad probably showed up on that scale when he was alive. It is difficult to appreciate the true volume because we have 60 acres, 2 houses, a small barn, and various small storage sheds that he was able to spread his habits around in/on.
The way my family has always explained or justified it was that he was raised in the Depression in Chicago and keeping things that could someday have utility or be re-purposed was a strategy that many employed. I also think he was impressed, inspired, and encouraged in some of his habits by local ranchers (in the rural area where my parents moved and where I was raised) who sometimes behaved similarly. The key difference being that the ranchers were actually living off the land and working in agriculture as their vocation. When you actually have and use an old piece of heavy equipment and live very far away from any sort of town, you keep a few spare parts around and usually have a few in various states of repair.
My dad would do that with stuff that had nothing to do with anything that we owned or ever would own.
The other interesting thing about my dad’s particular variety of hoarding, is that it seems to be either be contagious and/or my mom is overwhelmed by the aftermath and/or probably in denial at how overwhelmed she is, and/or all of the junk is now emotionally tied to my dad’s memory.
When I was younger, we used to go on covert missions to disappear things that my dad had set aside. Since his death, broaching the subject of getting rid of some stuff has sometimes gotten the same sort of response from her as he used to give.
I’m a hoarder, and so is my wife. Not stacks-of-stuff-everywhere (yet), but fill up the basement and closets and don’t get rid of the kids old toys. I’ve been inspired by reading this thread to try to get some of the stuff out.
It’s hard.
What if I need a box this size? Or that size? These glass peanut butter jars you can’t get that size any more… I was all set to throw out a box of OS/2 magazines, but couldn’t quite pull the trigger. Maybe I’ll see if anyone want them free on Craig’s List.
I’ve gotten rid of some stuff, and have my eye on more. It helps that we have large 64 gallon toters for garbage and recycling. Her stuff, though, I don’t know. She knows most of it is junk, but she feels she needs to go through all of it.
I think that makes it even harder, ZenBeam, because you DO actually need to keep SOME stuff, but figuring out where to draw that line is a completely personal decision, and not always easy to figure out. I’m trying to think of the things I ask myself about what to keep, what to donate, and what to chuck:
Do I use this frequently enough to justify keeping it?
Is it something that would be expensive/difficult to replace when I do need it once every five years?
Is it aesthetically pleasing? Does it make my home a prettier/better place to be?
Realistically, am I ever going to finish this project/use this fabric/make something with this pattern/read these magazines/whatever?
When was the lat time I used this/saw this? Did I completely forget I had it in that time and didn’t miss it?
For things of sentimental value, do I need to keep all of them, or could I keep one token item that reminds me of something or someone?
Another thing that helps me clear clutter is the idea that I don’t have to keep everything in my house and garage - there’s a great place to store stuff I might need someday, and it’s called A Retail Store.
Hurray for libraries. I’m a frequent flyer. I still have to have books in my home. They are comfort items for me. I’m serious about this, if there are no books around, I get twitchy. My hoader friend is going to be in my home a lot for the next week while I’m helping out elsewhere. If he chooses to toss my books, it will mean that there is room on my bookshelves to buy more. I won’t get upset unless he tosses my special books…which are in locked bookcase. Bookcase is locked mostly because keeping it locked keeps the seals tight, not because I won’t share them. The key is in the lock.
One of the things I do to keep clutter down is to box things up and put the date on the box. I number the box and write the contents on a numbered filing card that also shows location (i.e. "shed, shelf 7. yes, I do use a sharpy to number my shelves). If I haven’t opened the box/container in 2 years…off it goes. If I look at the contents I’ll find stuff that I suddenly can’t live without.
Last year, my Mother sent me my flapper dress from when I was in a high school play. I have NO idea why she kept it so long, or why she would think that I wanted it now. I said thank you, then cleaned it and took it to St. Vincents.
I can’t even find the right word in English, sorry; my dictionary-fu is failing. Google says “ragpicker” but it seems waaaaay too literal a translation for “trapero”; it gives me “junkman” for “chatarrero”.
There may be garbage collectors who will take that away for free or even pay you for it (on a per-pound basis). Try calling a local junkyard, if there’s anybody who does that kind of stuff they’ll be likely to know them (those people will sell some of their finds to the junkyard). There are some NPOs which do this work, as well as individual folk; I know that Remar works in the US but can’t find a good link to them (they seem to have locations in Miami and NJ).
From what I understand, the company running the estate sale might do it, but they’ll seek a larger cut of the sale. The estate sale companies also have a really good knack for making order out of chaos, such as reuniting old TV sets and DVD players with remote controls that might have been buried two rooms away, or picking out what might be important family papers and photos from the surrounding mess. There’s a limit to what they’re willing to do; for example, when it’s a health issue.
Estate sale companies always tell their clients “don’t throw anything away, because there’s a possible buyer for everything”, but they’ll toss out what’s obviously junk; newspapers, rags, empty boxes, food, and the like.
Some estates I’ve been to are actually advertised as “hoarder sales” or “hoarder cleanouts”. They draw HUGE crowds, because there’s so much stuff, much of it is new, and it’s priced to move.
I’m not sure what you think I meant by “stuff.” I meant everything that is in your house, and yes, you do need to keep some of it - you need some clothes, you need some bedding, you need some towels, you need some kitchen stuff, etc. Now, junk, that’s a whole nother thing. I have plenty of junk in my house, and I don’t need to keep vast quantities of it, but some of my junk I just like to keep around (for now). I’m not a hoarder, though, and my house and garage and basement aren’t in danger of being so full I can’t walk around in them. I also know from experience that today’s cute piece of junk will get tossed in a couple of years by me.
Clothing, bedding, furniture and paperwork for pending transactions and current tax records for the past few years are being “used” thus, not what I’m talking about.
Movies, music, and old photo albums that you occasionily enjoy are being “used” and not what I’m talking about.
Old, broken appliances, 5 year old newspaper and magazines, clothes that are not worn, canned and boxed food over 3 years old, furniture that is broken and unrepaired for 10 years, inopperable cars and vehicles, these are the sort of things that are NOT being “used”. They can be thrown out with no loss of quality of life.
The problem is that often hoarders are concerned that they will need it and won’t be able to afford it when they do. So, if you have old boxed food which still could be edible, they keep it in case someone loses a job or there is a storm or whatever.
Having extra towels means you won’t have to buy them later.
I am so glad that my mom taught me that nothing should be purchased or obtained unless you have a place to put it. It makes living in our small home possible while still being tidy.
(And yet, we still have a garage sale each year with easily 100 cubic feet worth of stuff that we no longer need. I can really see how never decluttering would just turn into a mess that can’t be cleaned up.)
Indeed. I’d never, ever had any hoarding tendencies … until we hit some really hard economic times, which we’re not out of yet. I find myself fighting the urge to save everything just in case we need it later. I have to limit myself - I’ll save this many of this size of jar, and no more. That sort of thing. I’m not ready for Hoarders, but I’m glad I’m aware of the issue and able to think through how to avoid it. My sister has a bad hoarding problem, and I think her stuff represents safety for her in a couple of different ways. She’s not able to let go of it.
My nephew was in a car accident and is permanently brain damaged. I hate to admit this, but I am so glad that he is not my child and he is a 1000 miles away. He looks normal. When you start talking to him you realize that something is a bit off, but you can’t put your finger on it. Then he tells you things soap is bad for you. (He “washes” his body and hair with Arm & Hammer baking soda.) Plastic is bad for you. (He really dislikes eating off of plastic dishes, using plastic utensils, drinking from plastic containers.) I could go on, but the subject is hoarding.
His parents got him his own little trailer, because he trashed out the various apartments he had lived in and word had gotten out. No one would rent to him. When he was committed (it was either that or jail - long story), his parents went in to clean the trailer. They ended up just hauling the trailer to the landfill. Thank God it was on wheels.
I see a couple of different problems concerning hoarding, from brain damaged, to mental illness, to “I might need this one day” type mentality. I thank the goddesses that my mother is not a hoarder so I won’t have that problem when she departs this mortal coil.
I have a friend whose daughter would sift the kitty litter and put the sifted solids in empty cat litter bags. No problem. Then, rather than throwing out the bags at some point, she would put the bags under the bathroom sink. Too lazy to take them to the trash? Or was something else going on? yikes!
This may have been asked and answered but I didn’t see it.
From my limited perspective it seems like most hoarders live in squalor. I have seen a few pictures where hoarders are super organized; but mostly things are just EVERYWHERE making the home unlivable. What’s the straight dope on the typical profile of a hoarder? Are their homes by-and-large really filthy?
I haven’t really kept up with this thread. But since it started I made friends with a professional house cleaner. She goes to the home of a hoarder once every two weeks. The guy also has 20 cats. He started with 30. She says it’s the worst part of her job.
I think what they hoard and why makes a big difference in the cleanliness. People who hoard food - especially fresh foods - or pets are likely to have filthy homes. This is definitely true of people who don’t want to throw garbage out. Those who are compulsive clothing shoppers, book hoarders, etc., are more likely to just have dust/vacuuming issues.
I think the squalor comes along with part of the disorder that doesn’t let them throw out what is obviously garbage - I think to some extent they get overwhelmed, and instead of doing a little bit every day, or having a regular cleaning, they just don’t do anything. Part of that might be denial - if you never admit what you’re doing, you never have to try to change it. We’ll just leave those piles and piles of stuff alone, because then we don’t have to deal with them, sort of mentality.
My uncle is a hoarder and rapidly on his way to squalor. It’s not the stuff he hoards (which is crap he buys from infomercials, furniture and whatnot from local classifieds because “maybe one of the girls can use it” and clothes from Goodwill that don’t fit) but rather his personal habits: if he drinks a beer while on the sofa, he drops the can on the floor and there it stays. Eats a pizza, leaves the empty box on coffee table or counter, and there it stays. Spill something and either leave it there to dry on or give it a quick swipe, just enough to smear it around.
He has 4 absolutely untrained dogs; if he doesn’t get home in time to let them out they just shit and pee wherever. He bought those “potty patch” things for them but doesn’t empty them out, so they overflow with dog pee.
My cousins refuse to go there when they come to visit and God only knows what they’ll do when he passes away.
He’s also not the only hoarder in the family, past or present. I sort of went in the opposite direction, I’m a champion throw-away-er
