Was on another message board where the moderator used his real name, clearly and obviously of Italian descent. After he enforced board rules on a really rude troll and banned him from the site. I matter of factly commented to other posters not to break the rules, adding, “You really don’t want to piss off Don [Moderatorsrealname] when he gets into Godfather mode.”
The moderator immediately edited my post and sent me a private e-mail chastising me for using “don” as an ethnic slur.
Granted, I did stoop to use a Mafia analogy but MEANT it as a compliment. I don’t go around tossing slurs, not even in the Gutters or the Pits – and I was surprised to hear “Don” was supposedly one.
“Don” is a title of respect, derived ultimately from the latin “Dominus,” meaning Lord, used of Italian men in leadership roles.
Among those, of course, are the leaders of Mafia families, who are supposed to all be of Sicilian ancestry.
By itself it would not be insulting, I don’t believe – but when coupled with the Godfather comment, it carried the clear tone of calling him a Mafioso or someone who administers/moderates as a Mafia Don would – and hence became the worst sort of ethnic slur.
Are you saying that Mafia-related slurs (or insults or comments or whatever) are “the worst sort of ethnic slurs”? If so, is there any reason for this? Really, I’m just curious.
While I think Polycarp may be speaking a little heavy handedly regarding the magnitude of the slur, I agree with his logic.
The term Don isn’t derogatory. I think the point is that the implication could be that he’s Italian, and therefore is a Mafioso and/or a vindictive, violent personage.
I guess in a manner of speaking, you didn’t use a “slur” but you may have used a “negative stereotype”. The difference is semantic and I believe gets at the core of the OP.
Don, in Italian as in Spanish is a title of respect equivalent to “Mister” and can only be derogatory in the same way that “Mister” can be used in a derogatory way.
I am thinkin’ that it is only an insult to Italian Americans…to be called a Don. I lived in Italy for a number of years and I can’t think of a situation where it would be even mildly insulting and even being called a mafioso…while a little chide, would only be a little poke and not a real insult. [as she lays her thumb aside her nose and winks]
Believe me if an Italian wants to insult you…they will, and it will have nothing at all to do with organized crime. It will be crude and rude and very very socially unacceptable and probably loud enough to be heard into the next county. Any Italiani out there agree?
If it’s used sarcastically, it can be a slur–like calling an American Indian of humble station “Chief” (or “Big Chief”), or an opinionated-but-unlettered drinking buddy “Professor.” But on a slur scale of one to ten, that was about a three.
My SO speaks and understands the italian language. At a wedding reception, a loud argument broke out between two elderly italian gentlemen, arms gesturing, faces red, and one gentleman ended the tirade with what I thought , sounded funny…and I laughed. Well, I got poked by my bride, becasuse what he had said was, ‘I pray that your grandchildren will be eaten by wild dogs!’ Yikes!
no, it wasn’t an ethnic slur.
it was using a term from another culture to bring the lad down a peg or two.
look at it like this…
what if a japanese person said “i’ll be back” using the terminator’s accent…is that an ethnic slur against austrians?