I like to be around intelligent, thoughtful, open-minded people, and some belief systems really are anathema to those things. Open racism, sexism, or any other -ism are not characteristics I could overlook. That said, I have friends with a wide range of beliefs. One of my closest friends since moving back home is a socially conservative Presbyterian minister. I’ll admit I never saw that one coming, but he’s a pop culture genius, an anime fan, and a very good Dungeon Master. Most importantly, whether he believes abortion or homosexuality are sins, I know with deep conviction that he wouldn’t hesitate to welcome and embrace any person who crossed his threshold and would refrain from beating them over the head with his beliefs. I know that because my belief system is very different from his - I don’t believe in God at all - and we have talked about religion as a point of interest but not once did he use his faith as a bludgeoning rod. Likewise, I have a cherished Doper friend who I’m pretty sure voted for Trump and while the choice is incomprehensible to me, I understand at least her reasoning for doing so. Also, she helped talk me down when he was elected.
What I find challenging, particularly on the internet, is encountering people who have radically different beliefs but who manage to be civil about it. So it really comes down to what is deep in people’s hearts and how they behave.
Not to threadshit but I’m having trouble parsing this. “Bi mostly”? So you’re saying that you’re mostly a bisexual. Ok, so you mostly are attracted to both men and women. Er, what? As opposed to only being** partially** attracted to both men and women? Or** totally **attracted? What does “mostly bisexual” mean exactly? “Mostly gay” or “mostly straight” I can understand. But not “mostly bi”.
It depends on the situation. I decide things on a case-by-case basis. Political similarities or differences can be factors sometimes. Religious things? Well, I really don’t like discussing religion.
Its always a plus when religion isn’t constantly brought up like a used car salesman trying to unload a Chrysler.
Those issues are what they are, but they don’t answer the big question:
[spoiler] Q: Are They Assholes…?
No… I’m totally serious. Some people have no clue and they act aggressively as such. They are… well… Assholes.
If you’re an Asshole or try to be an Asshole in a group, well that’s it. Life’s too short and I really just can’t waste my free time with an Asshole. If I’m forced to be in the same room with one, well I’ll keep the conversation to a minimum.
But I’ll never give any idea they have, any thought they have, or anything that that have to say credence. Because… they’re an Asshole.
Some people may say that that is a kind of discrimination… that I should be trying to educate people about better choices and behavior.
Still, I consider myself a fair person… and a good person… and I sleep well at night after intentionally limiting my free time to people who I get along with and who are Not Assholes. [/spoiler]
Yes - after all, you can’t really tell what’s going on in someone’s head unless it is expressed by some kind of behaviour - in workplace management, we are now told to address ‘behaviour’, not ‘attitude’ - for much the same reason (you can measure behaviour, but attitude is thought-life).
I mention this because it’s important - when the line is crossed - to talk about behaviour, not belief - if you have to break ties with someone, and especially if you have to explain yourself, it will actually be because their behaviour became intolerable, not their belief - and it’s important to make this distinction clear.
The line is drawn at attitude, not doctrine. I can be friends with those who have opposing beliefs, as long as they remain civil and tolerant of other positions. But I’ve even dropped friends who share my core beliefs, because I found them too radical and unwilling to steer around those issues and exercise tolerance.
Your beliefs can be diametrically opposed to mine and we can be fine with each other. Insist that I must come to feel as you do and we may never speak again. This goes for family equally with friends.
I assume that by asking this question, you are actually meaning to ask whether or not your decision to cease all contact with someone over your differences, is consistent with the rest of your personal beliefs. After all, that is the only possible meaning to attach to your use of the word “bad.”
In order to answer your question, I would have to know what personal beliefs that you hold, which might be in conflict with ejecting people from your life due to differing opinions.
Everyone else has told stories of having rejected or not rejected someone, which serve as good examples of what I’m talking about, though of course, none of them will serve to answer your question directly, since none of them are you, and have your identical personal beliefs.
The dictionary definition of “tolerate” is “accept or endure (someone or something unpleasant or disliked) with forbearance”. Thudlow pretty much nailed it, although I would add to reason 2 the qualifier “and still want to talk about/push their view”.
I wouldn’t be friends with this individual. On the other hand, I have a lot of friends who are full on conservatives and I am quite the liberal. Mostly in those cases we agree to disagree and talk about stuff other than religion/politics. So in other words, I can be friends with most people who are committed to be being civil.
For me, I have learned in life that one shouldn’t be opposed to throwing someone overboard if they are too into rocking the boat. If you are a jerk to me and others, “splash” in you go! This applies to people I agree with, as well as those I disagree with. Whereas, if you are capable of maintaining peace - even with differing beliefs, you are welcome to ride along on with me.