sam, I am happy to entertain it as quote from another should you provide a source stating otherwise.
I don’t know about furious. Twain seemed to have had a sense of humor 
The notion that Twain had a sense of humor is just an internet hoax. It was Will Rogers.
You mean it didn’t?!
I can see why.
Pithy enough for you?
Oh, I understand. So in the OP when you complained about posts being too verbose and faux intellectual, you weren’t speaking on your own behalf. You, of course, get it and nothing was going over your head. You were just speaking up on behalf of other people who aren’t as smart as you are. You were thinking of the children.
You have given me hope for humanity 
Say “goodnight”, Gracie.
I think I was pretty clear in my OP. I still don’t recall saying anything was over my head.
Spunky is good! Our last spunky poster went down in a flaming wheelchair; hopefully this one does better.
Flaming, you say? Well, maybe that’s just how he rolled…
That’s what I said.
I was pointing out that if you had said that posts on this board were too hard for you to understand, you would have at least been honest about your own limits. It doesn’t mean we would have slowed things down to your level but we would have felt sorry for your inability to keep up with the crowd.
But now you’re saying that wasn’t what you meant. You’re saying that while the posts on this board are too hard for some people, you’re not one of them. So you apparently see yourself as being above average in intelligence. This makes you appear to be condescending and patronizing and - based on the indications of your intelligence shown here - delusional.
Penny, this is what you need to do: stop and reassess. We’re not impressed by what we’ve seen and we’re not going to name you Queen of the Message Board. If you can’t handle that you might as well get out while you can still escape with some dignity because the crowd’s already turned on you and things are just going to get uglier from here on out.
The other alternative is to try starting over and this time do it without the attitude. Join in conversations and just say what you think without trying to win the thread. Stop telling everyone how smart you are and just act normally. If you’re smart, we’ll notice it.
Nemo, I am perplexed at how acknowledging being of above average intelligence is condescending or patronizing? Could that just be a quantified fact? If I was of above intelligence, should I dumb myself down to not make other feel badly about their lesser IQs? (Hypothetically speaking of course.)
I reassess constantly but as I see it, this thread is going quite swimmingly from my perspective. Where you see some need to dominate or impress, I see your personalities shining through. This thread helps me get to know you more than it allows you to get to know me. I tend to adapt to my surroundings and adjust myself according to the audience. This is giving me a pretty good idea of the level I need to operate at. I am still trying to decide whether or not I can rise to the occasion.
So thank you for the opportunity to get to know you. I appreciate you taking the time to show me who you are.
If I were of above (average) intelligence…
Smeg, if you are going to attempt to correct my grammar, can you at least be correct next time?
We could give it a try if it would help you understand.
Chicago Manual of Style. FAQ Item
“If I were” is the preferred construction.
Actually, “were” is correct when supposing something that is contrary to fact. That’s not what I was doing so my sentence is correct.
I get the joke but I don’t want some poor sap developing bad writing habits because you guys want to make silly grammar barbs.
Good. Grunt when you’re hungry.
If a mom grunts in the kitchen and no one is around to hear her, is she really hungry?
No one can know for sure beyond the grunting mom. ( Would pig have been shorter? Regrets.)