A coworker was just talking about how a friend of his is afraid of goats (because when he was a kid, he went to a petting zoo and a goat ate his shoes). I thought at first the coworker said “ghosts.”
That got me thinking: which is more pathetic to be afraid of: the common everyday animal that does exist, or the actually genuinely scary thing that doesn’t?
Ghosts, because they don’t exist. I can understand someone being afraid of goats, even if I think it’s a little weird.
Goats. Because I’m not 100% sure ghosts don’t exist, and all the goats I’ve been around have all been really friendly.
Goats, even though I’m sure ghosts don’t exist. There’s something in my brain, and I think many humans, that creates “bad stuff” in dark places where you can’t see and an enemy could be hiding.
Stay near the fire.
Being afraid of goats is deserving of scorn.
Goats can kill people.
Ghosts can’t. Because they don’t exist. And having a heart attack and dying because you’re afraid of something that doesn’t exist is just pathetic.
I think being afraid of something that doesn’t exist is more pathetic than being afraid of something that does exist, even if the latter is relatively harmless. A goat stepped on my foot once and it hurt, so I know they have the potential to cause harm.
Now if you ask me whether (or wether? 
) it’s more pathetic to be afraid of a goat or a toddler, I’d have to vote for the goat.
I’m afraid of the ghosts of slaughtered goats myself. 
That’s my attitude: being afraid of ghosts is really just being afraid of creepy noises in the dark and irrationally attributing it to the paranormal instead of irrationally attributing it to prowlers or wild animals.
Ghosts don’t exist, so being afraid of nonexistent things is pretty silly.
Goats can make some pretty scary sounds so I can understand being afraid of them.
Ghosts, of course.
But then again, goats sound like babies dying and have demonically rectangular pupils…
It’s no sillier to be afraid of goats than of spiders or birds, they are genuine fears that should be taken seriously.
I have been chased by a dog, a bull, a goose, and a ram. It’s no fun, and I have been cautious around all animals ever since.
I’m of the school that says it’s more pathetic to be scared of something that doesn’t exist than something that does.
A goat stepped on my foot once, and that hurt (he didn’t mean to, I’m sure; he just wanted to see if I’d brought treats for him as well as the horse).
I’m afraid of no goats.
(At 0:50) 
Yes, that **is **Ray Parker Jr. selling an advise phone number in Britain.
Goats are adorable. I’d have several goats as pets in my home, if they didn’t have a habit of peeing on themselves and otherwise being non-housebreakable.
Ghosts, on the other hand, are scary and unknown. I can understand being afraid of them. So for me, being afraid of adorable goats is more pathetic.
I am afraid of Goathe.
Being afraid of goatse is valid.
ETA… If you don’t know what it is, don’t go looking for it at work. Don’t go looking for it at home either. Just don’t look for it.
Don’t!
Didja hear about the doe that never got pregnant? She was always under the weather.
Did you hear about the lesbian nanny goats? They had to be kept away from the udders.
Ghosts. They may be the tormented incorporeal wraiths of the dead, but they still don’t have those creepy goat eyes.