It’s obvious to me too why the OP was fired. But I doubt it is obvious to the OP. (1) The OP makes zero effort to be liked and get along with others and is paranoid about office socializing and (2) has not made himself/herself indispensable to the company. Each employee must do at least one of those two tasks at every workplace. Preferably both.
If an employee shows up on time and do the job and is easy to work with, the employee would still have the job. Or, if the employee is the only person who can work the magic process, the employee would still have a job. If an employee doesn’t do either of those, he/she will be fired, probably before the end of two years.
So, OP, the diagnosis is that you are very awkward socially. I hope there is something you can do about it, but I’ve known plenty of people who couldn’t do anything about being socially inept. I wish you the best.
Yep, the project world is a bit different. If large reductions are needed the easiest, less disruptive and most defensible route is to eliminate the positions associated with a particular project when it winds down - for exactly the reasons you mentioined. I got caught in one of those once. That’s why I always try to keep some operational responsibilities in my job duties now.
At first we though she had a cat on her, so I called her in and told her that she didn’t have to worry about any action being taken if the answer was yes, that I am an animal lover also and that while I understood that it’s hard to be separated from your pets during the day we can’t allow everyone’s pets at work - just one (my bosses dog is there when he is, and the dog hates cats). I told her I didn’t want her cat to get hurt, she could fess up and while she would have to bring the cat home and couldn’t do it ever again, she wouldn’t be in any sort of trouble. It was still between us at this point. My boss wasn’t involved yet.
She told me she didn’t have a cat on her and her cat was at home. It became clear during the conversation that her love for cats was off the charts. She identified with them. She told me how she meowed back and forth with her cat, how they were bonded and how meowing soothed her. I explained, nicely, that while that particular action may soothe her it was disturbing her coworkers and causing a disruption. I emphasized that she was liked in the office but that perhaps she could meow outside on her breaks or only while in the bathroom and to please contain herself while she was at her desk.
Fast forward a few more talks about the meowing, people getting tired of it, the situation taking up more and more of my time, reseating people, dealing with ongoing complaints, a couple of office tiffs (a fed up person telling her off - it really was annoying as shit), talking about alternate behaviors (meow silently, meditate and meow in your mind, are you not at all concerned about the effect your actions are having on the office as a whole?, this is disruptive, etc). Nothing was getting through. She felt that because he family and friends accepted her behavior, we should too. I explained the difference between work and personal life for the umpteenth time. “My family is ok with it” and “It doesn’t bother my friends” (who were all cat fanatics) are not good responses to that particular discussion.
You know the look on someone’s face when there is no recognition or acceptance or acknowledgment that their actions are having a negative effect on a group as a whole and you know that nothing you say or do will bring them to the light? That was the look on her face. Nothing was going to change.
I told my boss, who had gotten wind of the meower a few weeks earlier, and he said “get rid of her”. I didn’t want to deal with her excuses any more, nor did I wish to continue to beat a dead horse by discussing the matter further so I made up a fake non-arguable excuse to let her go. Problem solved.
You know, sometimes I think we public librarians have cornered the market on experiencing weird things at work. Thank you for reminding me that there is always something new to discover.
Back in the 1970’s my cousin and I went to one of those movie nights at the library. I think it was a Charlie Chaplain silent film.
Anyway, we both had really long straight hair and we were sitting there enjoying the film. I felt something irritating so I moved my hair to the side. I settled down again. Then I glance at my cousin and I see that the guy behind her has a bunch of her hair in his mouth and was sucking on it.
We both wore our hair in a tight topknot for a good month after that.
I shit you not, a member of the public just wandered by my desk making a noise that I swear to god was a meow. I thought for a moment that I had gone totally bonkers.
From your description of the conversation you had with her, I still think it’s a wide open possibility that this was not a behavior she had real control over. But you were there and we weren’t so I’ll just leave it at that.
I’m going to start doing that in libraries, just as I walk past librarian desks. If others do it, too, it can then be A Thing at librarian conventions!
It sounds to me like you GOT a reason, and you disbelieve it, and are trying to make it into some moral failing on their part.
You want them to follow your program, not theirs. Restructurings can, indeed, eliminate only one person. Rare, but, hey, you’re using up their money, and they don’t find your services worth it.
Your diagnosis is based on your own projections and my own voluntary disclosure. I kept the details vague on purpose to foster discussion about the ethics of dismissing without cause or reason.
Sorry but you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I am a very social person, which probably got me into more trouble than not. In fact, I suspect an office romance contributed to my dismissal, which doesn’t really mesh with your assessment of me. These are the types of things I leave out on purpose to avoid pointless speculation.
If you want more information about my personal situation, I can give it… but that’s not really the point of this forum.
I did not get a reason. Let me paste an excerpt from an e-mail I just got back from my former boss.
**
"My personal policy is not to provide references, but [name omitted] was also your manager at [company omitted] and he might be open to the possibility as an alternative to the Confirmation of Employment you’ve received already.
As you know, the position was eliminated and unfortunately we didn’t have another role that was available for you. I know you’re struggling to find an alternative explanation, but sometimes the simplest answer is actually the correct one."**
That’s the sort of denial I am dealing with 2 months after being dismissed - I’m talking a complete stonewalling of any feedback that might help me professionally.
There’s no upside to giving you feedback, and a tremendous downside to the employer. It’s already been mentioned by others, but telling you why you’re being dismissed is basically an invitation for you to call them on it in a lawsuit.
it is possibly a true explanation. Managers get given headcount, which depends on many things, and if your manager lost a person someone had to go.
Now if things were tight in your company and there was nothing open, it is unlikely they’d fire someone to give you a slot. If they are hiring like crazy and can’t find a slot it is a different story.
If your office romance ate up management time, however, what happened is not surprising. Managers want workers to make their lives easier, not harder.
If you behaved at your workplace the way you appear to be behaving now–not accepting what people say at face value, hounding them for more information (TWO MONTHS! Jesus!), whining when that more information (that may not even exist) is not forthcoming, failing to grasp basic ideas about what you are owed, inability to understand reasons others are acting as they do, etc.–then it’s no wonder you were terminated.
It isn’t their job to help you professionally. Seriously, it’s no one’s job but yours (okay, I suppose you could hire a life coach or something).
If they said tomorrow “Hey, Syne, the reason you were fired is that everyone here hated you,” would that help you professionally? Especially given that then you’d be lying if you went to your next interview and said, “I was let go because of restructuring.”
