A friend of mine had a stroke last year. He’s only in his early fifties, so he’s still mentally acute, but physically, not so much. As such, he’s been in and out of nursing homes* since then; currently in. Since he won’t be going to any Halloween parties this year, I sent him a cheer-up package that included a dozen Halloween cookies**. Then it crossed my mind that those might not be allowed.
Of course no one can comment on this specific case, since you don’t know the guy or the place he’s in. But I’m interested in hearing from anyone who has experience with any kind of not-quite-a-hospital residences. Are the staff likely to say “Uh, what’s in that package?..Cookies? Does she know you’re on a restricted diet?”? Might they even say “You’re not allowed to have these”? Or it could be a matter of, they didn’t see me bake them, so they can’t take a chance on my kitchen being unsanitary. (Which it’s not, but they don’t know either way.)
Never happen? Always happen? Variable? I suppose I’ll find out in a couple days anyway.
*He refuses to call it “rehab”. Neither alcohol nor drugs led him to this.
**Molasses/ginger cutouts, with vanilla buttercream frosting. All organic ingredients, but not vegan, gluten-free, or otherwise modified. But no chocolate either, so no caffeine.
Answer is “variable”. Is your friend able to tell the staff that he knows the sender of said cookies and wants them? In other words can he communicate clearly?
A more likely reason that he may not actually be able to eat the cookies is a possible result of the stroke. He may have difficulty swallowing. If he is so physically debilitated that he needs nursing supervision, it is possible that he has some sort of texture restrictions. Have you dined with him in a facility? Was he served glop?
I’ve always wondered this. Why not the community room? That way visitors can enjoy too. Management will tell you! Pretty sure you can. But I could be wrong!!:dubious::dubious:
I’ve asked hospital and assisted care facility staff this question. The answer is usually the same: “Sure. No tobacco or alcohol please.”
Hospitals are significantly more stringent about imported food but in the case of an assisted care facility I would not hesitate to send cookies or almost anything else for that matter. The only excluded items would be alcohol and tobacco products.
Staff at these facilities will either open “suspect” packages or will ask the recipient about the contents.
Incidentally, in some facilities alcohol is permitted if alcohol is unrelated to the ailment or individual. For example, if you’re hospitalized with broken bones alcohol is not an issue.
Long ago, as a hospital volunteer, I would be asked by patients to bring in a can (never a bottle) of beer or one of those [plastic] mini-bottles of liquor for a patient. The hospital refused such requests for policy reasons but since I was a volunteer I could do it. No matter how the stuff got in the door, I had to pass it by the nursing staff for approval. They hated it when I did because it almost always meant getting a doctor’s approval as well, which was usually granted.
I was also routinely asked to bring in fast food. After a few days of nutritious-but-bland hospital food a Big Mac was the high point of the day. Food didn’t require a doctor and the nursing staff almost always gave the green light.
I was going to say, “only if they click on your website,” but unsurprisingly, I’ve been ninja’d on the internet-cookie joke. GreenWyvern didn’t waste any time!
My wife and I have both had family members have extended stays in nursing homes in recent years, so this is a somewhat familiar subject. If they’re in control of their faculties (which is the case for the OP’s friend), the nursing homes I’ve visited at don’t monitor what you bring in to their rooms. I assume they figure the patient can decide whether the goodies are consistent with doctor’s orders.
I’ve never sent anything by mail to someone in a nursing home, so I don’t know if there’s a different protocol there, but I can’t see why there would be.
My MIL had a couple of extended stays in nursing homes for rehab, and she didn’t drink or do drugs. In both cases, she was there to get her strength back after an operation and an ensuing infection so that she could resume walking with the aid of a walker.
Rehab isn’t just for drugs; AFAICT, mostly not. We just get a biased picture because when we hear of a celeb in rehab, it’s almost always about drugs or drink.
I cannot see how bringing alcohol to a person in a hospital is a good idea. You say broken bones is an exception? What if said person got drunk and fell and re-injured himself? Should be a big no-no, IMHO.
I wouldn’t count on your friend getting the cookies ! The nursing home staff will eat them . If your friend on a restricted diet and can only eat soft food b/c of the stroke there no point in making cookies for him . My mom was in a nursing home and I called her one day to see how she was , she told me that she was hungry and the nurse didn’t believe her ! The nurse aide ate all of my mom lunch right in front of her and brought the empty tray back to the kitchen and checked off that my mom 'ate all of her food ! I called the nursing home , b/c it was over a 2 hours drive one way, and told the nurse what happen and was my mom was lying and ate all her food that the nurse aide would never do that ! BULLSHIT ! This kind of stuff happen a lot at nursing home b/c most of the patients can’t speak up for their self . It would be great if the OP lived close to his /her friend so they give the food to their friend
to made sure they got to enjoy it.
Yes, he can talk just fine. As for what he eats, he’s on the other side of the country, so I’ve never visited him in a facility. The one time I have seen him since this happened, over the holidays, he was out and staying with his brother and SIL, and he had normal food. His fine motor skills are okay; AFAICT, the problem is with his gross motor skills and his balance. He’s gone from wheelchair to walker to intermittent wheelchair while “practicing walking” in the facility.
As for alcohol, he told me he had a glass of champagne on NYE, and a pina colada on his birthday. Not a big drinker normally, but doctors’ orders don’t forbid it.
purplehearingaid, that’s terrible! But…did you see it happen? Another thing that happens with the elderly is that they imagine things that didn’t happen. No offense.
And you’ve made me remember something rather sad. My maternal grandmother was in a nursing home for years, and one thing we noticed is that the staff seemed to think clothing was interchangeable between residents. We’d come in and she’d be wearing a shirt we didn’t recognize, and some other resident was wearing a shirt we knew was hers. Seems the attitude was, they’d put whatever item on whomever it would fit. Still, that doesn’t hurt anything. Except, of course, dignity.
Anyway, good to hear that the staff won’t inspect the package. He’ll probably offer some cookies to them; just so they’re not confiscated.
My grandmother was in one for several years at the end of her life. My wife and I and our then 3-4 year old son used to bring in corned beef sandwiches for her and we’d have lunch together. The staff knew and appreciated it. They liked it when someone did something to brighten up a resident’s day. She had most of her mental acuity still though she did confuse her great-grandchildren some.
My FIL was in a home for 2 years. The nursing staff hated him. He wasn’t very likeable, as he aged he got downright mean. He was rude and coarse. Said the first thing he thought! He died friendless, me and my husband were the only visitors he ever had, and we had to contend with a sackful of complaints every time we went there. We think he may have starved to death. He couldn’t feed himself, and no one wanted to help him. It was a sad time, there was nothing we could do. We tried everything, to no avail.
As an anecdote, years ago I was recovering from an illness in a nursing facility. They would set sandwiches and fruit out overnight for the residents to snack on. You were allowed to grab yourself something without restriction. They also had vending machines you were allowed to use if you had enough change.
One time I didn’t like dinner and was still hungry, so I had a pizza delivered. The staff had no problem with that or with my keeping the leftovers in the fridge in the break room. Nursing homes aren’t prisons. As long as you are of sound mental state, they let you do pretty much what you want. They did keep a separate locked ward for residents who were suffering from dementia.