Is it too soon to start the list of crappy Xmas gifts you got?

If you give me pajama bottoms that are three sizes to large, having me model them in front of everyone will not go well.

Just sayin’.

That mug is perfectly bad. I must have it.

I’ll send it, PM me

Upon sober (ish) reflection, I realize that I don’t own a museum of horrible Christmas presents, but if I did, this mug would have the place of honor.

We had a Secret Santa exchange at work this year. One of the managers (who was NOT involved in the exchange) thought it would be funny to distribute gag gifts to make it look as if some of the Santas had gone bad.

That was the origin of my crappy gift, a cookie bearing the logo of one of our vendors. It was so hard that it was next to impossible to even break off a piece. I was assured that it was fresh, and that I could revive it by placing it in the microwave. I got home with it, and was promptly forbidden from getting anywhere near the microwave with the cookie. It’s currently sitting on a table next to the back door; I’m thinking of setting it outside for the squirrels. (They’ve eaten the thick plastic on my bird feeder; this cookie should be nothing for them.)

My brother has given me more than one book on how to make duct-tape crafts. I never needed a dog raincoat made out of duct tape, so I never used those books. I expect he’ll give me another one some day. :slightly_smiling_face:

Dammit, I’m far too late. But I work at a place where one of the resident mugs says “In Loving Memory of When I Gave A Shit” so this one woulda fit in well.

I don’t know if I win the thread, but…

There’s an item I needed. I had one on order from a purveyor.

It arrived.

It was the wrong item.

The previous two times I tried to get this item from another purveyor (two different ones), they sent me the wrong thing.

I really needed to replace the old one, and was venting to my husband. The vendor had already promised to sent a replacement of the correct sort.

He very thoughtfully surprised me with one, for Christmas.

Now, money’s a bit tight right now. We had some very major expenses late last year, and had agreed to keep Christmas VERY low key. And the item is not terribly expensive. And I will use it.

But when I opened it, I said “Oh, you shouldn’t have. No. REALLY. You SHOULDN’T HAVE.”.

Hint: Medical supplies are not good gifts. Never have been. Never will be.

I’m thinking his Fathers Day gift will be a deluxe tube of hemorrhoid cream.

That reminds me about three decades ago my mom was having a Secret Santa exchange at work and somebody bought her a stuffed teddy bear. But the teddy bear was obviously something that had been sitting in the back of a closet for DECADES because the stuffing was as hard as a rock and the fur was faded to all hell. As kids we took to tossing it at the concrete wall in our backyard and hearing the bear hit it like it was a bag of bricks but somehow surviving each hit no worse for wear.

My brother gave me a DIY Your Home book - exactly the sort you might find in a discount book store. The problem with this is that he knows I live in a small rented flat which I cannot alter. Within two hours of giving it to me he asked me to led it to him.

Absolutely no way - I kept that thing like a prized possession.

It’s currently used as weight in a backpack I wear when doing resistance exercise.

So I got a pizza stone, cool. But I never ever indicated I desire anything about pizza tools.

I made the pizza and when I went to place it on the stone on the oven I realized how the hell do I get it on there without a peel? Biggest fucking mess ever but the the deformed sloppy pizza pie tasted good. Now where do I find a peel that will fit in a compact cupboard? Or do I have to hang it up. And I don’t want to make up a pizza on my granite counter prefer stainless. I haz no stainless. I will probably shove the stone in a cupboard and forget about it.

I love this thread. Every year (well, in the Before Times), my friends have a big after-Christmas party that we call “Happy Crappy.” We wrap up the bad gifts we got and then play white elephant with them, then burn the christmas trees in a bonfire. There are strict rules about no social media/pictures allowed so we don’t insult our families.

My favorite from last year is someone gifted a giant slab of bespoke soap (seriously, this baby was like a foot long and six inches thick) that came with a cheese-slicer type contraption, nestled in a weirdly fancy woodwork box, for cutting off one slice of soap at a time. It reeked of Rich Great Aunt Doesn’t Know What Else To Do.

They are good for baking bread too. Or just leave it in the oven and it will help to even out the heat, reducing any hot spots the oven may have. I’ve had one for years and never actually made pizza on it.

Reading thru this thread reminded me of a few years back when we did a goofy gift exchange with my inlaws. Also called Bad Santa or Yankee Gift Swap or any number of other titles.

Anyway, I ended up with a Jesus Loves Me t-shirt that my fundie BIL threw into the mix. I don’t recall what happened to it, but I know it didn’t come home with me. It would have made a blasphemous dust rag, tho!

That’s a very good idea! Thanks for mentioning it! I have a bread maker that I mostly use for pizza dough, now I’d love to try using the stone for homemade sub buns.

Apologies for multi-quoting my own posts, but it saves folks scrolling up and down a long thread. Hopefully this falls within SDMB etiquette guidelines.

After asking everyone in the family that we could think of, the mystery remains. Re-examined the box for any clues and nothing. We’re still stumped.

At this point, we agree with you. Unfortunately they’ve been “re-cycled”. Exotic foods with no pedigree are a little worrisome. And the cardiologist has me on a moderately strict diet anyway.