Is it true?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Well is it?

It could be anything - but IS IT TRUE? For example, it is not true that pineapples grow on bushes that say “Nee” - no sir, they grow on pineapple trees that have become shrubberies.

I have learned that secret service agents do not wear Crocs {tm] because reasons.
If you fart in a bubble bath, it will not kill you and it will not blow out the ceiling lights (except if you had Chicago curry)
Eating ice-cream does not make you fat - it is the lack of vigour in which it gets unwrapped and the lack of an anticipation dance.
You cannot - not a chance, make a Bearnaise sauce at home better than a packet from trader Joes - and your steaks will agree that such a feat is not possible.
The earth is flat - this too is not entirely correct.
A wet dog nose – no, let us not go there.
That black stuff between your toes is not in fact licorice.
Man, the world is so bewildering. Come help me set reality straight.

2

A bird in the hand is not necessarily worth two in the bush - the market sets the price and you can take it or leave it.

3

Video did not actually kill the radio star, though I suppose some injuries were inevitable.

4

REALLY??

Wow.

Are you sure? What did kill it? I must know!

5

Right, I knew that.

6

I will go there- A wet dog nose in your butt crack is the most effective alarm clock in existence; second is a cat making hork hork noises on your bed…

7

“Birds of a feather flock together.” - True

“He who runs away lives to fight another day.” - Maybe; it depends on whether or not he’s shot in the back while making a break for it.

“Good things come to those who wait.” - False. Nothing but old age comes to those who wait. The saying was invented by people who want you to just shut up and not make waves.

8

After extensive experimentation I have determined that you can have your cake and eat it too. You just have to start with a big enough cake.

9

This entire discussion turns out very differently depending on which definition of “cake” you use. And of “have”.

And, come to think of it, which definition of “eat”. :slight_smile:

10

I don’t know about Secret Service agents wearing Crocs, but for Og’s sake, people. Crocs makes more types of shoes than just the clogs, and still with the foam rubber sole.

11

The moon is NOT made of extremely edible green cheese.

It was originally, but after a few billion years in the vacuum of space - well, let’s just say I wouldn’t try to eat it…

12

I’ve sometimes even noticed problems with food I find that’s been in the vacuum of my house for a week - so I can imagine that the problem would be even worse if it was a vacuum that had been used on all of space! :slight_smile:

13

You simply MUST publish your research papers - enquiring minds want to know. Preferably with twenty seven eight-by-ten Colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back and a seeing eye dog. That would be really helpful.

I am now counting on you to keep my sanity - please do not disappoint me.

14

Ew :confused: Those are not shoes. Those are plastic strap-ons, and do not Google that word.

15

Can too! I just don’t do it very often because it’s insanely high in saturated fat. Also because it’s so delicious I tend to eat too much of it and then feel sick afterwards.

16

well ok - but you’re cool

Us mere mortals cannot ok?